ZOMG!!!! TeH ANGELS IS TeH BEST TEAMZ EVERR!!!!!!

Bert Blyleven's writing is one very small step above the quality of that title.

Final stretch: Breaking down the playoff races
Angels look like MLB’s best, but who will join them in postseason?

Gee golly, Bert. We've been over this before. You seem to be the only person in the world who thinks that the Angels are this good.

This is going to be fun.

With the All-Star Game and trade deadline behind us, it’s time to look ahead to the playoffs.

Whew. Thankfully that there All-Star Game is over, so now I can care about which baseball teams will go on to the postseason.

Back in April, I predicted the winners of each division race and the wild card races, then took a leap and chose a World Series winner.

That was a good time. You chose the Angels to win the World Series.

Let’s take a look back at my picks, see if they’ll hold up for the rest of the season.

Yes, let's! Skipping to the flagrant parts, of course.

AL CENTRAL

Preseason pick: Minnesota Twins

I expected the Twins’ deep young rotation to make a big difference this season, but things haven’t quite worked out that way. Kevin Slowey is done for the season and Francisco Liriano has struggled. They’ve needed some young pitchers to step up, and aside from Scott Baker (6-1 over his last 11 starts), that hasn’t happened.

Well Nick Blackburn has a 3.79 ERA, against the odds, but I guess that isn't considered "stepping up", I guess.

The White Sox and Tigers both made big deadline deals, with the Tigers bringing in Jarrod Washburn and the White Sox acquiring injured right-hander Jake Peavy.

Chicago took a big risk in trading for Peavy because they dealt a fine pitcher for him in Clayton Richard. Peavy threw on the side on Sunday and his ankle was ok, now he must build up some arm strength.

I laugh that you think Clayton Richard was the centerpiece of that trade. Hilarious.

For the Tigers, Washburn was a nice pickup who fits in nicely. He’s not the ace

Eh?

— that’s Justin Verlander —

Oh.

but he’s a solid veteran who gives them an edge down the stretch.

"Gives them an edge". You see, when the second place team similarly acquires a pitcher who is a solid veteran, you need to say something to compare these pitchers, Bert. What if I told you that Peavy gives the White Sox "the edge"? Gives them the edge over who?

Miguel Cabrera is having an MVP season,

Fair...ish. He shouldn't win.

Magglio Ordonez is starting the swing the bat better

Not really, like at all. Please look at that game log and tell me that he's doing any better now than he has the rest of the season. Oh yeah, and let's not forget that $18M ticking time bomb attached to all this playing time!

(Well....$15M considering the buyout....)

Their question mark is in the bullpen, and I’m surprised they didn’t address that before the trade deadline.

Hmmmmm...that's interesting. I would have argued that their "question mark" would be "How the hell are we going to score runs when we start Gerald Laird, Adam Everett, a broken Brandon Inge, Clete Thomas (in LF??), and Carlos Guillen (at DH?????????) every day?" But that's me, and I tend to think about things before publishing them to a major news website.

Updated pick: Detroit Tigers, as they have fewer questions than the White Sox and Twins.

....as listed by Bert Blyleven. You listed the Tigers' bullpen as a weakness. Could you....could you even name me one pitcher in the Tigers' bullpen?

AL WEST

Preseason pick: Los Angeles Angels

I liked the Angels at the start of the year,

Everyone who has been in a 1,523 glorpulon radius of msnbc.com knows you liked the Angels at the beginning of the year. And always.

based mostly on their pitching,

Oops.

though I also expected a big season out of Bobby Abreu, and he is delivering.

Bobby gon' win the MVP then sign a fat contract. Just like the plan.

The more the season progresses, the better that pick looks. I got a good look at the Angels against the Twins over the weekend and was impressed as they scored 35 runs on 52 hits in the three-game series. They’re hitting .290 as a club and that’s almost scary.

About as scary as being only 3.5 games in first place and having the 3rd worst ERA in the AL to fall back on.

And Chone Figgins is the catalyst. He gets on base, he steals bases, and he’s a good hitter from both sides of the plate. If the Angels continue this way, you have to look at him as a possible MVP.

No. Shut up. Shut up. Shut the FUCK up. Chone Figgins is very useful. But he doesn't even have a .300 EqA, and he's not even the most valuable hitter on that team.

See people? This is why blogs like this have to live on. Bert Blyleven shouldn't be
allowed to say things like "Chone Figgins is a possible MVP" and get away with it.
He just....shouldn't!

They have a couple of question marks in their rotation,

That's putting it very mildly.

and could really use some improvement out of Ervin Santana and/or Joe Saunders. Jered Weaver is very consistent and John Lackey is pitching some very good baseball. If you have three good starters in the postseason you’re in good shape.

You just listed two good starters.

Updated pick: The Rangers are a great surprise, but I’m sticking with the Angels.

Excuse everyone while we all don't die of shock.

NL WEST

Preseason pick: Los Angeles Dodgers

Manny Ramirez, as popular as ever, has a little “Fernando Mania” thing going on out there, and less well known is the fact that Casey Blake is a very steady player.

Shhhhhh...don't let the secret out.

But you're right....sooooo steady!

Blake is one of the keys to their offense.

Interesting, un-crazy, go on......

He won’t put up MVP numbers

I agree! It's good that you're noticing him......

but three out of five times he’ll get the big hit.

I quit. Game over.

Three out of five times.

Casey Blake is more than just steady. He's the best player in Major League Baseball.

And THAT, friends, is "less well known".

World Series: The Phillies will get past the Dodgers in the NLCS, only to fall to the Angels in the World Series. Los Angeles will rely on its speed and defense to get past Philly for its second title (2002).

I don't want Bert Blyleven to make the Hall of Fame anymore.

Bert Byleven, Make the Hall of Fame and then SHUT THE HELL UP

With the usual apologies to reader Tonus.....it's time for some Halo-bashing. Although it's not really "bashing". Let's call it "accurately-assessing-that-mediocrity-of-a-team-in-a-way-that-no-one-paid-to-write-about-baseball-seems-to-be-able-to"

Despite departures, Angels will win AL

I demand to know right now. What the fuck is the obsession that the media has with this team? It's like Eckstein never left!

The Angels won 100 games last season, but over the winter they lost Mark Teixeira, Francisco Rodriguez, Jon Garland and Garret Anderson.

They watched Hunter and Guerrero slide further down the path of "old". They inexplicably gave Juan Rivera another job, and instead of hiring a first baseman, they gave the job to a wedge of cheese.

They did add Brian Fuentes and Bobby Abreu, and they remain not only the class of the AL West, but also my pick to make it to the World Series.

There are at least eleventy-five better choices to win to the World Series. They are jusssssssssst barely better than the Oakland Athletics.

Under manager Mike Scioscia, the Angels are so fundamentally sound, and that leads to victories.

Hit that cutoff man! Tag up on a fly ball! Keep playing that mediocre defense!

They are division favorites because even with the departure of Teixeira, they will win with solid pitching, dependable fielding and a productive enough offense.

"Solid"...."dependable"...."productive enough". Gee Bert, don't get too excited about these guys!

Abreu in left field makes their lineup look even better.

"Even better". Wow Bert, "even better" than 10th in the AL? That's amazing! Oh, and did I mention that you just swapped out Teixeira for Abreu and claimed that the lineup got BETTER? You fucking serious?

Offensively, they are a very solid club,

WRONG! And just a couple paragraphs up, I thought they were "productive enough." Now they're "very solid"? Did they acquire Manny Ramirez between the time you wrote those two paragraphs?

especially in the middle of the order, with Scioscia most likely hitting Abreu second, Vladimir Guerrero third and Torii Hunter fourth.

How is this remotely considered GOOD? This is EASILY in the lower half of the league as far as "heart of the order" is concerned. Probably bottom 10.

Their starting rotation is impressive, especially the top three.

I would agree.

Ervin Santana is growing in wisdom as a pitcher,

That's a fun way to describe a 26-year old.

Jered Weaver is the fourth starter,

Naming a pitcher and not saying anything else about him is a great argumentative tactic.

and Dustin Moseley appears to have the leg up on a wide-open battle for the fifth spot.

Blyleven: Ahem...yes...that appears to be what this depth chart I'm reading names off of says. I'm just going to keep making nondescript shit up about each one as we go.

Fuentes is not K-Rod,

He's just as good.

but he has 30 or more saves in three of his past four seasons in Colorado.

And might have saved 63 if he played for the Angels last year.

There are other AL teams being more highly touted,

The better ones.

but sometimes as a former player, your gut just tells you good fortune is going to shine on a certain team in a certain season.

THE ANGELS WERE LUCKY AS SHIT LAST YEAR TO WIN 100 GAMES.

Seriously Blyleven, go to Vegas. I wasn't aware pitching in the MLB gave you a supernatural ability to determine what teams would get lucky in a given season.

You know, I kind of like the Atlanta Braves this year....because....because I just think they'll get lucky! That's why!

Even though the Yankees spent $423 million this offseason on free agents CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira and A.J. Burnett, the Red Sox, who made some low-risk moves that could yield high rewards, will win the AL East.

The Red Sox starting rotation is a big plus. And it’s not just Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsuzaka and Tim Wakefield. The free-agent signings of Brad Penny (one year, $5 million), and John Smoltz (one year, $5.5 million, with a possible added $5 million in performance bonuses) could be huge positives.

Let's see, that's 6 starters, plus Clay Buchholz.....hey Bert, how many guys get to be in a starting rotation?

Even without Manny Ramirez, the Red Sox have plenty of offense in Dustin Pedroia, David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis, Mike Lowell, J.D. Drew, Jason Bay and Jacoby Ellsbury. As long as they stay healthy, they have a lot of ways to protect Ortiz in their lineup in the post-Ramirez era.

Protect....David Ortiz? What year is it again? 2006?

The Yankees will have to settle for the wild card. Their rotation begins with Sabathia. It also has Burnett, Chien-Ming Wang, Joba Chamberlain and Andy Pettitte.

Again, really a great way to inform me about the quality of the Yankees' pitching staff! By the way, are the Rays just irrelevant or.....

Chamberlain is penciled in at No. 4. This is a move I disagree with. Chamberlain should stay in the role he has excelled in, and that is the setup man to closer Mariano Rivera. That’s Chamberlain’s greatest value to the team.

And perhaps they should plug his spot in the rotation with like....Jaret Wright (didn't that work out well that one time?). Or maybe a live donkey.

With Chamberlain starting, the question of whether the Yankees have enough reliable arms out of the bullpen to get games to Rivera becomes even greater.

You see getting to Rivera is really only important if you have the lead to begin with, and that begins with a quality starti-....oh you're not done. Sorry. So sorry.

And what about Rivera? He turned 39 on Nov. 29, and he’s coming off surgery in early October on his right shoulder. Will he be the same dominating closer as he has been in the past?

Well he was the best closer in baseball last year, if that's any indication.....

The Rays will find it too difficult to again finish ahead of the Red Sox and Yankees simply because seasons like the magical one they enjoyed in 2008 are hard to repeat.

And there you have it folks. Give Bert his paycheck. He's done his job.

It was all magic. Not the fact that they had (and still do have) the best pitching in baseball. Magic. Abra-cadabreraweablabala.

Lean toward the Twins to capture the AL Central mainly because of their impressive young pitching staff. But this division race should be an extremely interesting one with the potential of all five teams being in the mix.

Name 3 players on the Kansas City Royals before saying that. No...wait...don't just name them. I know by now that you're very good at that.

The Twins are a solid club, but they need more depth off the bench and more power.

This is the nicest thing I've ever said about Carlos Gomez, but the Twins have 4 outfielders capable of carrying a starting job. They also have Brendan Harris, who has to be one of the best bench bats you can find, and probably one of the best backup catchers in baseball in Mike Redmond. I don't understand where you got the idea that this bench needed to get any better.

I can't end on that....it wasn't funny.

Poop.

Gene Wojciefaf;ejlfawefak;lfsdf'pawefawski

(I never get sick of "man, old Gene needs a new last name" jokes).

Anyway, he shifted to baseball mode. Which means I'm shifting into shit all over his face mode.

Playoff success all that matters to Angels

Now that's just fucking brilliant.

Josh Byrnes: "I don't care what the hell else happens. I just want the Diamondbacks to win the division and make a quick first round exit."

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- So here are the Los Angeles Angels, who pretty much clinched the American League West on Opening Day, who are so good opposing coaches tell closer Francisco Rodriguez, "We don't really like to play you guys," who might have the best owner in baseball and whose clubhouse might be the dullest thing this side of "Asparagus: The Documentary."

Wow. That is the worst-composed sentence in the history of the English language. 4 derivations of the word "who". Is that supposed to be clever or something? Let's check this one out piece by piece.

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- So here are the Los Angeles Angels, who pretty much clinched the American League West on Opening Day,

And had a worse run differential than the A's when the A's sold off their team...

who are so good opposing coaches tell closer Francisco Rodriguez, "We don't really like to play you guys,"

Attention everyone! If there's anyone out there that knows something about superlatives, please give ol' Gene here a lesson. Please? This was painful to read.

who might have the best owner in baseball

Probably.

and whose clubhouse might be the dullest thing this side of "Asparagus: The Documentary."

Larry, your Gene Wojciechowski = Michael Scott comparison is reallllly holding water.

They're in the HOV lane for 90-plus victories and a fourth division title in the past five years. And if you can find a weakness in their everyday lineup, the Rally Monkey will wax and buff your car.

OK, I'll give it my best shot.....I'm going to have to squint reallllly hard though.

How about this one? Every team in fucking Major League Baseball except the Braves has a left fielder who hits better than Garret Anderson. This is not a joke. If you rank every team's left fielder by EqA. Garret Anderson is almost dead last. He's worse than fucking Willie Harris. Does this count as a weakness? I think it does!

Good thing too. My car needs both of those things very badly.

Here's the problem: The Angels have a habit of acing the compulsories but falling off the balance beam during the postseason program.

I can think of 1532 easier ways to write that sentence. And only one worse. This is it.

"Here's the problematic nature of the situation: The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (formerly just the Anaheim Angels, and formerly the California Angels) have a compulsive tendency to obliterate the opposition in the primary seasonal region of the baseball calendar but stumble off of a 30-story building in Parsippany, New Jersey during the schedule of baseball events that occur in the future with respect to the said primary seasonal region."

Angels outfielder Torii Hunter sits in front of his locker Thursday afternoon, a freshly poured cup of coffee at his feet, and listens patiently as I detail the playoff exits.

Why is this conversation between these two men even occurring?

Hunter is the guy who left the only franchise he had ever known (nearly 15 years in the Minnesota Twins' organization) for the one franchise he hoped would offer him a free-agent deal this past offseason -- the Angels. So yeah, it's sort of tough to convince Hunter, who literally scouted the Angels before signing a five-year, $90 million contract over the winter, that he might have made a career mistake.

This might be a liiiiiiiiitle off-topic there, Gene.

Most of all, Moreno wants what Hunter wants: a championship. He'll come into the clubhouse, pull up a chair next to Hunter and say, "I need a ring. I want a ring."

Hank Steinbrenner and Jerry Reinsdorf want.....?

Wanting and getting are two different things. The Angels are loaded, although the recent injuries to second baseman Howie Kendrick (placed on the DL Thursday with a strained left hamstring) and shortstop Erick Aybar (hamstring) could alter the postseason equation.

Aybar will be back in like a week. How does that matter?

Then we're talking about a lineup that goes Chone Figgins, Aybar,

Yeah, go ahead and bat that .316 OBP 2nd and pretend that isn't a weakness.

Teixeira, Guerrero, Hunter,

Very good, very good, overrated, still good.

Garret Anderson,

2nd worst starting LF in baseball.

Juan Rivera,

Yeah....no need to mention that he's having an absolutely terrible offensive season or anything.

Or that offense is 100% of the reason a DH plays baseball....

Kendrick

Yeah, so in Gene's world, Kendrick, a very good hitter, bats 8th, while Erick Aybar, a poor hitter, bats 2nd. Great. I totally believe you've seen an Angels game this year, Gene.

and catcher Jeff Mathis.

He's fucking terrible. Every team in Major League Baseball has a catcher who hits better than Jeff Mathis. Even the Angels have very underrated Mike Napoli, who should probably be in this spot in your batting order, but whoops! You just scooted over to MLB.com and noticed that they have Mathis listed first on the depth chart, didn't you? Rookie mistake from an old man, Gene.

Oh, by the way, on the whole, that lineup that you just fed me is not good. At all. Mayyyybe average-ish. Maybe.

All five starters in the pitching rotation have 10 or more wins (Joe Saunders leads with 14).

Those five men are pretty much the team right there.

And Rodriguez has as many saves as the Cleveland Indians and the Seattle Mariners
combined.

Put any of the top 30% of closers in baseball on the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in place of K-Rod and they do the same fucking thing. If he wins the Cy Young over Cliff Lee (who is probably the most valuable player in the AL), that's fucking bogus, 58+ saves or not.

Teixeira homered Thursday night, his 28th of the year and eighth since the trade. That sort of power helps fill a pothole in the Angels' lineup.

No, it filled a Kotchhole. Kotchholes are like potholes except their presence doesn't slow down your car, and have a glove inside them that actually prevents future damage to your car.

Scioscia won't discuss the upcoming postseason because, well, I guess he's worried about the Angels blowing a 16-game lead in the division with 29 games left. This is standard-issue Scioscia doctrine.

"Let's talk about it a month from now," says Scioscia, the manager Hunter calls a "brainiac."

But...I thought the Angels only cared about winning in the playoffs?

A month from now will be the day after the end of the regular season. Then the playoffs will start. Hunter can already see it: a champagne fest, ring ceremonies, a Rose Garden presentation at the White House.

"I got that picture in my head," Hunter says. "But we got a long way to go, a long journey. When you get in the playoffs, everything is going to be different. … We could win 100-plus games, and it does not matter. When you get to the postseason, you got to change. You got to be totally different. Any mistake you make, you're going home."

The Angels can tell him all about it.

Great.

So Gene, thanks for writing this article in which you revealed to me the following things.

1) You have no clue that Howie Kendrick is a way better hitter than Erick Aybar
2) You think that listing off players constitutes proof that the Angels have a "loaded lineup"
3) You pretend that Jeff Mathis, Garret Anderson, and Juan Rivera aren't fucking terrible.
4) You don't have a clue that Mike Napoli exists.
5) You quite possibly are the worst composer of sentences the world has ever seen.

Bert Blyleven: Great Pitcher, Awful Analyst

He's been writing pieces for MSNBC.com, and I'm finally ready to call him out.

Here, he ranks the top aces in baseball

Here are his AL choices.

1) Roy Halladay, Blue Jays.

OK sure. I don't agree, but you're welcome to that opinion.

2) Josh Beckett, Red Sox

Yeah, yeah...

3) Erik Bedard, Mariners

He's filthy, and might be my #1. Totally deserves mention in this list.

4) Justin Verlander, Tigers

Good, good, nice choice.

5) C.C. Sabathia, Indians

Also an outstanding young pitcher.

6) John Lackey, Angels

Great work, you're on a roll!

7) Jon Garland, Angels

STOP!

Garland has a 105 ERA+. He's perfectly "above average". He is not an "ace". You already have John Lackey on this list, so why did you choose another Angels pitcher, unless you're really trying to rank the best overall starters in the AL?

Where's Kazmir? Vazquez? Wang? Greinke? Possibly the biggest sin of all, where's Fausto Carmona? And hell, why not rattle off Burnett, Buchholz, and Blanton? Felix Hernandez? James Shields? Healthy Rich Harden? There's guaranteed a few more to name, but where the FUCK did you get the idea that Jon Garland was the 7th best starter in the AL? Jon Garland?????

Wait, there's more, he tries to justify this crap.

After winning 18 games in 2005 and 2006

Hi Bert. Wins are not good for evaluation, Bert. Matt Cain was 7-16 last year, Bert. The White Sox crushed the ball on offense in 2006, Bert.

the right-hander posted just 10 victories last season and had a losing record (10-13).

But he pitched better in 2007 than 2006, Bert.

But the White Sox experienced a tough 2007 and for 2008 Garland has changed uniforms, traded last November to the Angels, where he should flourish with increased run support.

Bert, the offense scoring more runs does not make Garland a better Bert. I mean pitcher, Bert. It just means he'll accumulate more of an outdated pitching statistic intensely correlated with run support, Bert.

Bert.

Garland induces a lot of groundballs

But his GB% has alarmingly declined from 48% to 43% to 41% over the last three years, Bert.

and he does not give up a lot of home runs.

You win, Bert.

He will battle hitters hard and can handle throwing a lot of innings (he’s pitched over 200 the last four seasons).

Jason Marquis has averaged something like 200 over the past 4 seasons, Bert. Jon Garland is like Jason Marquis with less homers, Bert.

He has an aggressive approach aimed at getting ahead of hitters

Which contrasts to Fausto Carmona, who tries to get behind hitters in the count, Bert?

He stays around the plate and doesn't give up many walks.

But he also doesn't strike out guys, Bert! Is striking people out important, Bert? Is the combination of 4.5 K/9 and a decreasing ground ball rate a good sign, Bert?


Garland grew up in Southern California and with him going home a big year might well be in the cards, maybe in the range of 18 to 21 wins.

Please send me a historical report showing statistical data that pitchers pitch better in their home states, Bert. Do you even know who James Shields is, Bert?

For Garland the positives with the Angels are not only on offense

None of the positives for Jon Garland are on offense, Bert. Jon Garland doesn't hit in the vast majority of his baseball games, Bert. If Casey Kotchman decides to break out and club 67 homers, this does not make Jon Garland a better pitcher, Bert.

but also on defense where he can expect solid fielding behind him all season long.

That also does not make Jon Garland a better pitcher, Bert. It makes Jon Garland look like a better pitcher, Bert. That's why we have things like Defense Independent Pitching Statistics and Defense-Adjusted ERA, Bert.

I can't believe I just had to convince Bert Blyleven that Jon Garland is not a top 7 pitcher in the American League. I'm literally kicking myself for bringing that "Circle me, Bert!" sign to the last baseball game I saw in the Metrodome.

Just kidding, I've never been to the Metrodome. I actually want to be the one who gets to push down the trigger for the dynamite when that thing goes up in smoke.

For the interested, Jon Garland currently boasts a 5.50 ERA. He has started 3 games, thrown 18 innings, and has struck out a fuckingwhopping (yes, that's a word) 2 hitters.

Hey Everyone!

Gee, it sure has been awhile since anyone has gushed over big ol' overrated ol' Torii Hunter, eh? Well Jon Heyman just changed that! Let's dive in!

Angel in the outfield
Torii Hunter is a perfect match with his new club

A "perfect match" you say? Here's what I'd call a "perfect match".

Step 1: Team has a lack of outfielders.
Step 2: Team signs a free-agent outfielder.

Look at this farking depth chart! Is there some convenient little spot where Hunter fits? No, it's a clusterfuck filled with other overpaid people like Gary Matthews and Garret Anderson who are slightly worse than Hunter. Reggie Willits had a .391 OBP last year! Juan Rivera was injured last year, but slugged .525 in 2006! So before you even say anything on the topic, I want you to know this, Jon Heyman. You are completely and totally one-hundred-per-fucking-cent WRONG.


TEMPE, Ariz. -- Hard as it is to believe, the best deal anyone made this winter just might have been done at a Del Taco, out on I-91, halfway between Anaheim and Riverside, on the way out to the desert. Over a couple iced teas, Torii Hunter's agent, Larry Reynolds, and new Angels GM Tony Reagins, two longtime baseball acquaintances, hammered out the $90-million, five-year contract that made Hunter an Angel and seemed to upset almost half the American League.

It upset two. The Rangers and the White Sox. And neither of those teams spent $90M on an overrated CF on the wrong side of 31 who has never EqA'ed above .282, so they realized the error of their ways (not really) and lived happily ever after. The end.

PECOTA-haters shut your eyes, but Hunter is projected for an average of 3.08 WARP for the 5 years of his contract. That's less than what Gary Matthews Jr. gave them last year by more than a full win. And this is supposed to be the best deal of the winter?

The Angels acted like "a Ninja in the middle of the night wearing all black," says Hunter, coming out of nowhere to sign the man who is now tearing up the Cactus League, with a .500 batting average (16 for 32), three HRs, 10 RBI and a 1.063 slugging percentage so far.

Why Jon, I couldn't dream of anything more meaningless than spring stats! Ivan Rodriguez has hit 6 HR in 41 ABs! He hit all of 11 last year. George Lombard is slugging 1.053. I have no clue who the fuck that is.

In reality, this is the perfect match, anyway: the perpetually sunny Hunter and Southern California. It was like a Disney ending. He says, "This is the one team I always wanted to play for. They were No. 1 on my list.''

Yeah, but guess what? Most Disney movies have really crappy sequels. I know just how they're gonna follow this up. We're going to turn it over to deep-throated movie trailer guy.

"One is a Major League Baseball team in sunny Southern California. The other is a sunny Major League Baseball player. It was a match made in heaven....or was it?

Tony Reagins: 'My...my money...it's gone! Someone spent it all!'

Coming to theatres this spring.....

Torii Hunter: 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO WALK MORE???'

....the story of the Torii Hunter and the Los Angeles Angels continues, as their seemingly perfect marriage melts into newlywed trauma and drama.

Torii Hunter: 'I'm givin' one hundred and twenty percent, coach!'

Mike Scioscia: 'If you ain't runnin' into outs you ain't tryin' dagnabbit!'

Garret Anderson: 'Doesn't anyone CARE about me anymore?'

Torii Hunter stars in his most difficult role yet.........

Torii Hunter: 'HOW THE HELL CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO PLAY ADEQUATE DEFENSE IN 5 YEARS???'

Torii Hunter.

Mike Scioscia.

And introducing Tony Reagins as the new Angels GM.......

Disney and Pixar proudly present.....

Free Agent Centerfielder II - The Low-OBP Debacle

Rated PG-13. Starts March 31"



Well that was pointless.

Some folks suggested the Angels overpaid. (If so, it's the first time anyone ever could claim that at a Del Taco.) But judging by the reaction of the teams that lost out for Hunter's services, those opinions are worth less than one Macho Taco (yes, it's on the menu).

We get it, the deal took place at a fucking fast-food taco restaurant. Those of you who read the actual article know that I've omitted several other useless references to the restaurant already in my commentary. It's getting REALLLLY annoying, no one cares.

The Rangers and especially the White Sox seemed to be floored by Hunter's quick call to go west. Both teams are believed to have offered $75 million for five years, with the Rangers perhaps willing to go even higher, and offer a sixth-year option.

The White Sox saw Hunter as the one to rescue a ho-hum clubhouse

Oh....yeah...and they had this black hole in center field that the Angels totally didn't have. You think they wanted him for that reason too? Or was he just supposed to uplift the clubhouse spirits?

This just in: It appears the White Sox have just signed Jabbo the Happy-Go-Kooky Klown to a 5 year, $105M deal. Jabbo will perform juggling tricks and throw pies in peoples faces in the dugout to lift the spirits of the players. He will also serve as a pinch hitter for Jerry Owens.

Hunter said he didn't approach the Angels since they already had Gary Matthews Jr. for center field, though that didn't stop him from waiting for their call, or jumping at the chance. Matthews will move over to leftfield, though with Reggie Willits and Juan Rivera also in tow, he may lose a few at-bats (that's probably OK by the Angels, as Matthews' brush with HGH last spring surely didn't help his stock with them).

Even Hunter realized that this move made absolutely no sense for the Angels, and that he totally didn't fit there. Yet one of the 30 Major League GMs couldn't figure that one out.

If those other teams that lost out are paying attention this spring, they can't feel any better about Hunter playing for an American League competitor. He is killing the ball out here

So are Gerald Laird and Ronnie Belliard.

and proving to be the perfect piece in a clubhouse that probably needed a little extra energy boost.

I love when journalists say crap like this. This little clause has something amazing working for it. You can't prove it.....but by golly, it's 100% impossible for someone to disprove it as well. We like to call these statements: mid-article cop-outs. This is when the author has run out of substantial things to say, so he starts racking up nonsense, or "phony-baloney" if you will, to fill the white space. Be at ease, Heyman, page 2 of this column is all about other topics. You only need to get a little further making up BS about Hunter.

Hunter's always upbeat nature is a welcome enhancement to a laid-back clubhouse whose biggest personality in years past was probably manager Mike Scioscia.

And again.

Southern California fans historically also are known for being laid back, but Hunter was so impressed by the Rally Monkey-fueled craziness in 2002 when the Angels knocked the Twins out of the playoffs en route to their World Series title, he made a mental note of it. "The atmosphere is crazy here. They're not laid back at all,'' Hunter insisted.

Thus: Hunter to the Angels was the best deal of the winter, and ZOMG! IT HAPPENED AT A TACO-BASED FAST FOOD OUTLET!!!!!

This is so disappointing. There's little-to-no correct, relevant substance in this entire column.

Hunter's also a great fit in the lineup, where he'll bat fourth or sometimes fifth, with Garret Anderson being the other option to protect the team's best hitter Vladimir Guerrero.

Batting order doesn't really mean that much, but yes, it will be nice for the Angels to have a solid HR hitter behind Vlad to make pitchers feel less easy about pitching around him. Point: Heyman.

Some might suggest Hunter isn't your typical cleanup man,

What crazies. Heyman, give us some solid evidence to the contrary.

but he will have none of that talk. "I'm going to bust your butt if you make a mistake," he warned opposing pitchers.

When an opposing pitcher makes a mistake against Ryan Howard, Howard literally sits down in the batters box and starts laughing, rather than actually swinging at the pitch to make the pitcher pay.

Thanks for the solid evidence.

The numbers suggest that's more than just a boast. When batting fourth last year for the Twins, Hunter batted .337 with three homers and 16 RBIs in 23 games.

Oh my gawwwwddd....you just gave be a world full of things to pick on! I feel like a kid in a candy store!

1) Let's start with the obvious one. 23 games. That's like, less than a month. When a player has a hot July, Heyman, do you automatically assume there's something about the player's genetic makeup that makes him more awesome in July?

2) That 3 HR / 23 games rate is actually LOWER than Hunter's HR rate for the season.

3) In 2005, Hunter batted only .279 batting 4th.

4) Hunter has never hit .290 in a season, and to suggest that a move to a DIFFERENT LINEUP SPOT would somehow give Hunter magic skills that allow him to hit at a sustainably higher batting average despite seasons upon seasons of evidence to the contrary is stupider than referencing the fact that a MLB offseason deal took place at a taco restaurant multiple times in an article. Good thing you've never done the latter.

5) You are a terrible columnist, Jon Heyman.

In his career, he's hitting .276 with 22 homers and 93 RBIs in 158 games -- almost identical numbers to his career 162-game average of .271, 25 and 93.

Wow....so like.....Torii Hunter hitting 4th is identical to Torii Hunter hitting anywhere else! Thanks for proving that we needed to talk about batting order!

As it turns out, the Angels may have found the perfect person for the middle of

their defense

Adequate.

their lineup,

Because who doesn't love a .324 career OBP?

and their clubhouse.

You based this on which specific interactions between Hunter and the other Angels players, again?

On the plus side, this is probably the first Torii Hunter article I have ever read that did not make ridiculous comments that overrate his defense. Kudos, Heyman.

He's Back, He's Bad, He's......VENTIN' VENTRE

Everyone, we are about to get hit with some of the worst metaphors known to man.

Red Sox have become baseball tornado

This is what happens when a team wins 3 baseball games in a row, people! It transforms into a natural disaster that annihilates everything in its path!

ANAHEIM, Calif. - The earth opened up Sunday and swallowed the Angels.

Now when did tornadoes get the ability to "open the earth" and make the earth swallow things? This double-metaphor really isn't doing it for me.

Actually, it just seemed that way.

Whew.

It was the Boston Red Sox who devoured them, and really Saturday was more like the final bite before the last burp. Rarely do you see an entire baseball team push itself back from the table, take a deep breath, loosen its belt, and reach for a mint.

....I'm speechless.

What's going on here?

The Red Sox advanced Sunday to the American League Championship Series by completing a sweep of the surprisingly submissive Angels with a 9-1 victory in the best-of-five division series.

Aahhhhh ok. There we go.

Although Stanford upset USC on Saturday, proving that just about anything can happen in sports, this result seemed as if it had been etched in stone, or more specifically, in Bill Stoneman, the Angels’ GM whose mantra is that the Angels don’t need another big bat.

Purpose of big bat: Score more runs
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Already pretty good at that

Somehow I don't blame him.

The Red Sox are moving on because, at least in this series against Los Angeles, it seemed like the only kind of bats they have are big ones.

Also: not hard to win a series when your pitching holds the other team to 4 total runs.

The contrast was startling, as it figures to be in the ALCS. The Red Sox had been sliding somewhat down the stretch in the regular season, allowing their formidable lead in the American League East over the Yankees to dwindle to a squirmy margin. But now that that nonsense has been dispensed with, it’s almost like they’re interested again.

So that's it. They were bored. The Boston Red Sox have been looking up at the Yankees for over a decade, and now that they were the ones sitting in first with a nice lead, it was just too uninteresting for them to care. Cool.

Skipping to later......

Just about every baseball club these days pops champagne after every significant postseason development — gaining the playoffs, winning the division series, winning the championship series, winning the World Series. Investing in champagne stock at this time of year is probably the wisest move on Wall Street.

I'm actually going to stick with my initial conviction that Ventre thinks you can just "invest in champagne stock". Also good: investing in pumpkins near Halloween (like Homer Simpson), investing in pine trees around Christmas, in eggs around Easter, and in fireworks around the 4th of July. These are proven excellent financial strategies.

(we'll leave out the discussion of Ventre's lack of understanding of weak-form efficient markets and the pure idiocy of thinking that the sale of like 1500 bottles of champagne would affect its stock price, if it had a stock)

So it was no surprise to see the Red Sox erupt late Sunday in a bacchanal of bubbly.

After careful analysis of past trends, Michael Ventre has determined that no, it was completely un-shocking, and actually quite predictable that the Red Sox celebrated with champagne.

There was first baseman Kevin Youkilis madly shaking a bottle and spraying it in a 360-degree guyser. There was prankster Manny, filling a tub with ice water, then sneaking up on several unsuspecting teammates. When the champagne ran out, they used cans of beer.

These guys are a fucking baseball TORNADO. What were we writing about again?

Red Sox Nation may turn out to be the greatest country in the world, at least as far as this 2007 baseball season is concern.

This is just a mind-bogglingly stupid sentence.

Oh yeah, and "is concern"? Nice. We don't need no stinkin' editors. Fight, the power, Mike.

Go Indians!

Michael Ventre Is The Worst Writer We Make Fun of

Don't believe me? Exactly one of his articles I've read has not shown up here. Exactly one was just acceptable enough for me to not completely tear apart. Now, let's hear him talk about grit, hustle Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

They don’t have A-Rod. They don’t have Big Papi.

No. They have Vladimir Guerrero, a stupid, Spanish-speaking moron with a .311 EqA who is awful at baseball.

In the estimation of many, they don’t have much, or at least, they don’t have enough.

6th in baseball in runs scored. Lackey. K-Rod. Vlad. A little thing called Kelvim. Who says this team doesn't have enough?

Many onlookers don’t quite know what to make of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. They peruse their lineup and wonder how such a team can maintain their membership in the American League, let alone qualify for the postseason.

Then the onlookers actually do some fucking research (a concept foreign to you, Ventre) and realize that the Angels have a .345 team OBP, good enough for 3rd in the AL.

The Angels consist of low-key manager Mike Scioscia, a bashful superstar who speaks little English in Vladimir Guerrero, a veteran slugger who is even quieter than Guerrero in Garret Anderson, and a bunch of fellows unknown in most households.

Yes, slugger Garret Anderson. 16 HR. .272 EqA. Slugger. Garret Anderson. I guess Ventre didn't quite expel all of his man-juice all over Garret Anderson when he got 10 RBI in a game.

With an unorthodox assemblage comes unorthodox ways. The Angels don’t do things flamboyantly.

Are "unorthodox" and "flamboyant" antonyms now? (that's just a different word for "opposites", Mikey)

They’re rarely the opening story on “SportsCenter” or even “Baseball Tonight.”

Well sound the alarm. This must mean the world thinks they suck! Same with the Indians, Padres, Phillies, and Rockies! Stupid non-firsties!

And even though they have had spirited in-division rivalries with Seattle, Oakland and Texas over the years, such clashes generate a mere fraction of the attention that is received whenever the Yankees and Red Sox tangle.

I'm not saying that this is wrong, but everyone knows why this is true. Nobody except complete idiots think that the Angels aren't a good team for the reason that they aren't constantly in the national limelight.

The Angels thrive primarily because of their outstanding pitching, led by the three starters set to trod the bump in the division series — John Lackey, Kelvim Escobar and Jered Weaver.

No. This is false beyond reason. This is living proof that Michael Ventre has never seen a page of statistics in his life. The Angels have the 11th best ERA in baseball. This is not outstanding. Can anyone refute that? Above-average, yes, but not outstanding. They have scored the 6th most runs in baseball. Their offense is better than their pitching. How can someone argue that the Angels are thriving primarily because of outstanding pitching?????

But the Angels have to score runs, they don’t have many big sticks to do so — they ranked 12th in the AL in dingers this season — so what turns out to be special about them is their ability to act as scavengers, collecting runs by whatever aggressive means possible.

5th in OBP, 6th in runs. Correlation? I think so. But go ahead and attribute it to their scraptacular ability to manufacture runs.

The Angels like to run. Their mantra is to take the extra base. They knock base hits and keep a constant flow of runners zooming around the base paths. They have the personnel to play that way, a lineup that includes Chone Figgins, Orlando Cabrera, Gary Matthews, Jr. and rookie Reggie Willits.

Fuck. I want to make fun of this so bad, but I just can't. Like I mean it's all true....it's not why they're scoring runs or anything, but it's true.

They’ll swipe bags whenever they seen an opportunity, too. Figgins led the team in steals with 41, followed by Willits with 27, Cabrera with 20 and Matthews with 18. The Angels ranked third in the majors in thefts with 139, behind the Mets and Orioles. Of course, only one of those three clubs managed to abscond with a playoff berth.

Which makes an argument for how irrelevant the stolen base is in the long run. It can have a significant impact on an individual game, but getting caught stealing wipes out the expected run value of roughly three stolen bases. That's the whole reason that SBs don't mean all that much unless you have a guy who steals at an absurd success rate.

It’s a little odd to think that Scioscia would preside over this bunch. He had an illustrious career as a catcher, and as such, was more of a tank than a hot rod. In 13 major league seasons, all with the Dodgers, Scioscia amassed a grand total of 29 steals.

Gotcha. It's completely unrealistic for Scioscia to think steals are useful because he was slow. I mean, even though he was a catcher, and the stolen base is something a catcher needs to be thinking about all the time when the other team's guys are on base, I think you have a great point here. Simply awesome. Also notable: Billy Beane was the first MLB executive to understand the true (high) value of a walk, and he was terrible at walking as a player! 11 BB in 309 AB! This should, theoretically, make it impossible for him to think walking is good!

No, this is less of a tribute to Scioscia’s personality than it is to his intellect. He happens to be managing a club that is in a mid-major market — yes, it’s Southern California, but no, it’s not really Los Angeles — and as a result, owner Arte Moreno and general manager Bill Stoneman have opted to keep the payroll low and rely on the kids.

I told you last time. The Angels have the 5th highest payroll in baseball! They pay their players $109M! This is not a mid-major market. This is a major market. They have the 5th highest attendance in baseball. How many more ways can I say this? Only the Red Sox and Yankees spew significantly more money at the players than these Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. You, Michael Ventre, are grossly stupid and completely fucking ignorant.

Guerrero injured his elbow and might be used as a designated hitter against the Red Sox — since he may not have the throwing power to handle right field — and Scioscia knows Guerrero is more comfortable at the plate when he’s playing the outfield than he is as a DH.

Vladimir Guerrero, last 3 years, as DH: .318/.372/.536
Vladimir Guerrero, last 3 years, overall: .328/.389/.572

I'm not convinced that's true. I'd attribute such a small difference to something called slight varaince over 233 ABs.

Figgins was slowed in the month of September by a wrist injury.

I bet it's as dramatic as the last one.

Chone Figgins, 2007 season: .330/.393/.432
Chone Figgins, 2007 September: .302/.390/.413

Granted, he's been worse/not playing in the past week, but word choice there is Ventre's, not mine.

But the Angels have to hustle to get even. The Red Sox merely have to hope for a sudden clap of thunder from one of their longball specialists.

Pitching, hitting, and defense are nice, but no, the key to the Angels winning this series is hustle.

Despite all the comparative stats and past performances, the Angels are hoping that battling pays dividends, that taking the game to the opposition in small flurries instead of waiting around for a haymaker will prove beneficial.

And then they can point and laugh at the Red Sox who are just "waiting for the 3-run homer". That's all the Red Sox do to score runs, anyway. I mean, don't even look up that the Red Sox are 4th in MLB in runs scored despite being 18th in HR. No, that's totally fine. Publish it. I don't care.

Actually I do. It bothers me. I don't like you.

Hey, it’s worked so far. Why tamper?

And that's the end. Look Ventre, you have done a great job of attributing the Angels success to the wrong thing in pretty much every feasible way. Let's recap, you think:

Angels pitching > Angels offense
Importance of Angels hustling, running, stealing > Importance of Angels getting on base

You're a fucking joke, Ventre. You're a worse writer than Mariotti. There. I said it.

(I still hate Jay more)

(and Jay Mohr)

(I just earned myself an awful, awful play on words label for this post)

Guy Gets 10 RBI, Saves Team, Personifies Team, Rescues City From Hurricane, Doesn't Suck at Baseball Anymore

Michael Ventre has a few thoughts on Garret Anderson's 10 RBI evening last night. Since he's such a good writer and never shows up on blogs like this one, I'm sure we can expect things that are well-thought out with no wild claims and exaggerations, right?

Yeah....this is gonna be a disaster. I really hope I beat Fire Joe Morgan to this one.

Garret's eruption puts Angels back on radar
10 RBI night by Anderson reminds us all how good this team really is

Yes, Garret Anderson totally restored my belief that the Angels are a very good team. The fact that they have a very good starting rotation and bullpen, coupled with the fact that they have one of the best hitters in the game in Vlad didn't quite do it for me. I needed a 10 RBI night in an 18-9 blowout by a poor corner outfielder to REMIND me that this team is any good.

Garret Anderson probably will never have a model of shoe named after him. He’ll never spill his guts on “Oprah,” or be photographed coming out of a club with Paris Hilton, or do a talk-show tour demanding a trade.

I get it, he's not one of the most famous players in the world, but this is dumb. I'm guessing the point of this paragraph is to say that Anderson isn't very well-known, but here's the thing, lots of people know about Garret Anderson. They remember him for the 2002 World Series, as well as for being the 2003 Home Run Derby Champ / All-Star game MVP. There was a time that he was a good baseball player, and was relatively famous.

In fact, the only time the Angels’ outfielder is ever featured on “SportsCenter” is if he does something extraordinary.

In fact, this is true for pretty much all players who aren't any good!

There is no doubt today that the acutely low-key Anderson is a “Who’s Now” candidate after belting out 10 RBI Tuesday night.

I acknowledge that "Who's Now" was a very dumb ESPN publicity stunt, but seriously.....

WTF?? Tiger Woods (arguably the best golfer ever), LaDanian Tomlinson (sets NFL record for TD's in a season), Ronaldinho (best soccer player in the world), Garret Anderson (drove in 10 runs in that one regular-season blowout against the Yankees).

"There is no doubt today" that Garret Anderson belongs in the same breath as those people.

It is appropriate that Anderson seized the spotlight in an 18-9 Angels’ decision over the Yanks. It is almost as if the other Angels drew straws to determine which of them would remind the baseball world that they still exist and they’re still viable as championship timber.

So, when deciding who should "remind the baseball world" that the FIRST PLACE ANAHEIM ANGELS WHO ARE IN FIRST PLACE IN A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL DIVISION FOR BEING ONE OF THE BEST BASEBALL TEAMS IN THE ENTIRE BASEBALL LEAGUE exist, the Angels "drew straws" (a supposedly random method) and Anderson won "appropriately". I don't follow.

This is a Yankees-Red Sox world, after all. Oh, occasionally Cleveland and Detroit will cause a dust-up in their lust for the AL Central crown, or Johan Santana will hurl a gem and in the process underline the Twins’ inadequacies, or the Mariners will scream for attention.

This is only a "Yankees-Red Sox world" for idiots who choose to immerse themselves in those two teams so far that they are oblivious to whatever else is going on in baseball.

Yet the Angels have often seemed so far under the radar that they can’t even be detected with sonar. They just happen to be 6-2 against the diva Yanks so far this season, and are 11-4 in their last 15 against them in Anaheim, including the 2005 playoffs.

ESPN must have been using some sort of ULTRA-sonar to constantly talk about the Angels at the trade deadline about adding another slugger to their lineup or about where A-Rod is going next year.

On Tuesday night, Anderson took a curtain call as a crowd of 45,257 lavished their appreciation. When asked if he expected more such reactions, Anderson said, “It took me 13 years to get that one. I don’t see myself playing for 26 years.”

If he did, he probably wouldn’t be any more of a household name –even in Orange County households – than he is today. And the Angels will likely still be the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, pining for bragging rights over the Dodgers in Southern California, a modest franchise with big dreams.

Please, STOP acting like no one knows who Garret Anderson is! 2002 World Series. 2003 Home Run Derby Champ, 2003 All-Star Game MVP. Granted, he's not one of the most famous baseball players, but he isn't fucking Yuniesky Betancourt either! Ventre, you suck.

This isn’t anything new. Movie cowboy Gene Autry, who owned the team over four decades, shelled out lots of dough to buy guys like Reggie Jackson, Fred Lynn and others in the early 1980s. That team generated a lot of attention, but it didn’t bring Autry a World Series championship.

What does this have to do with anything?

That achievement occurred in 2002, an unlikely crusade that culminated in a series victory over Barry Bonds and the San Francisco Giants. Back then, they were still known as the Anaheim Angels. The following year, they were sold to a Latino businessman named Arte Moreno, who made his millions in billboards.

But no matter how much advertising they have done, the Angels can’t seem to bust out of that small-market pigeonhole, even after replacing “Anaheim” with “Los Angeles” and putting together perhaps the best starting rotation in the majors.

First off, after reading this, I seriously don't think that Ventre knows that the full name of the team is the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim".

Second, the Angels are 11th in team ERA, and they have a non-awful bullpen, so I'm going to go ahead and say they don't have the best starting rotation in the majors (if anyone can find a site where starting pitching is ranked, I'd actually really like to know, because I can't find one. Leave a comment). The Angels starters, except for that #5 Santana/Colon slot have been very good, however.

Third, and probably most absurdly of all, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "small-market pigeonhole"!?!?!??!?! Los Angeles is one of the biggest cities in the United States. The Angels have the 4th highest payroll in Major League Baseball. There is absolutely nothing small-market about the Angels. You, Ventre, are the definition of ignorant.

Garret Anderson is the personification of the Angels, at least for today.

The FUCK does that even mean? The "personification" of the Angels? He's a corner outfielder with a .242 EqA. The Angels have kept him around despite consistently low walk totals and shrinking power numbers. He has a .298 OBP. Garret Anderson is the personification of everything the Angels have done wrong in recent history. His 4-year $48M contract is the definition of "mistake". And you're saying that a bad player who had one hot game "personifies" a very good team? You clearly are one of those people who has his head stuck so far up the metaphorical ass of the Yankees and Red Sox to even GLANCE at what other teams are doing. I bet you wouldn't have even written this article if the 10 RBI didn't come against the Yankees.

That only occurred because he happened to become one of only 12 players in major league history to post double-digit RBI in a single game. Ordinarily, he can’t even hope to compete in the “player with the most talent who is most often overlooked” category with Vladimir Guerrero, the Angels’ lone superstar, currently batting .322 with 19 homers and 100 RBI.

Because he doesn't have very much talent. He's bad. He has a .298 OBP.

Anderson, Guerrero, Mike Scioscia, the team’s gently intense manager, and the rest are all a reflection of the stone man named Bill Stoneman.

And the award for greatest play on words in history goes to......

He’s the team’s general manager who is probably more notable for doing nothing at trade deadlines than any of his peers. In fact, his ability to do nothing has to be ranked up there with the greats.

Yet he must be doing something, because the Angels have held on to the AL West lead now deep into August, albeit by a shrinking margin. Stoneman and Moreno have embarked on a Gandhi-like path of passive resistance. They’ll compete, they just won’t go out and spend money on free agents to do so. That’s partly why some idle chatter about A-Rod eventually landing in Anaheim is the funniest stuff to come out of the region since Bob Hope was in his heyday as a standup.

WHLEF;asdf'asdfl;asdkflkals'dfasdklf'ja;sdfkj'asdflsda. The Angels pay their players a lot of money. All the talk about A-Rod going there, whether or not it will happen, is to be taken very seriously. Contrary to what you just said, the Angels splurge big on free agents quite a bit(e.g. Vlad Guerrero, Gary Matthews Jr.), it's just that they just are quiet at the trade deadline usually. Honestly, how can you be this stupid and uninformed and still publish your trash at a place like msnbc.com (then again, it IS msnbc.com, and they hired HatGuy).

Yet the larger implications have to do with another push toward another World Series title. Before Tuesday, the Angels had been the small independent film that everybody respected that would surely be forgotten when Oscar voters cast their ballots. Now they’re more like a studio picture with a little more national backing.

They don’t have what they want yet, but they’re getting there.

The Angels have been transformed...nay....TRANSCENDED by the performance of Garret Anderson into a team that must be considered by all as "legitimate" (they were not at all legitimate before last night). Thanks to him, they won a game by 9 runs when he drove in 10, and if you plug someone else in his place in the batting order, there's no way that they Angels would have won this game. They're nothing to be fucked with, because they have a bad player who got hot for a game. Be warned AL contenders, you may one day meet the wrath of Garret Anderson's powerful bat, as it put the Angels on the map. Thanks to him, they now mean BUSINESS.