Leitch swings and misses again

I've actually enjoyed a few of Will Leitch's recent "team previews," particularly the one about the White Sox. However, this one about The Mariners, and more specifically, Ken Griffey Jr., is horrible.

Seattle Mariners: The Fake Tragedy Of Ken Griffey

Ken Griffey is almost assuredly, when he is elected to Cooperstown, going to have to hear about the fact that he didn't do steroids the rest of his life.

This is a terrible way to remember Griffey, and I suspect he hates being known as A Steroid Casualty even more than he hates that he played in an era where everyone else used steroids. (This is assuming, of course, that Griffey never used performance enhancing drugs, which is not something we should assume about anyone. But I digress.) This is Griffey's real curse: The brilliance of his playing career will always be overshadowed by the era he played in. His supposed halo will get in the way of anything he did on the field. Ken Griffey is damned.

1. Why is it so horrible to be remembered as the only power hitter of your era who didn't do steroids?

2. Anyone who remembers Griffey Jr. as anything other than an amazing hitter should stop following baseball.

It's in every story you read about him anymore. The most recent, and best, example is Jon Heyman's paen to Griffey's Veteran Influence at SI.com.

[Quotes Heyman]

I understand Heyman's (repeated, and repeated) point, which is the worst thing you could do for Griffey.

You're agreeing with John Heyman. Now that you've identified the problem, the next step is eliminating it.

There's going to be a sad sack cloud around Griffey throughout the rest of baseball history, because of a fundamental contradiction: For all the talk about how steroids supposedly besmirched the record book, people look at his numbers and, almost unconsciously say, "Oh, man, imagine what he would have done if he had used steroids!" If Griffey would have used PEDs, the way you're supposed to use PEDs — in moderation, to keep yourself healthy and on the field, rather than to massively bulk — he might have played enough to hit 800 homers. (Note: My math should probably be checked there.)

Your math is irrelevant because the overarching point of this article is completely asinine. Again, if you spend your days wondering what Griffey could've done with steroids: you're an asshole who should stop watching baseball.

Futhermore, the real "what if?" regarding Griffey that people who actually care about baseball should wonder is "what if Ken Griffey Jr. didn't miss so many games due to injury?" Per his 162 game average, he would've already hit 819 home runs already. That would've been a pretty big deal.

He is praised for this, but there's a tragic bent just under the surface. What those stories really say is, "If Griffey had used PEDs, and we never found out about it, we'd consider him the greatest player of all time." They secretly wish that were the case.

Way to take an opinion held by morons and make it sounds like a consensus, Will.

Griffey is as much a part of the steroid era as anybody else is. Putting him in the What Might Have Been category, it makes it implicit. That's not how Griffey will want to be remembered. But that's how he will be.

In sum:

Griffey's stats might have been better if he'd taken steroids, and as evidenced by a John Heyman article, that's all anyone will remember Griffey for. We find this to be a tragic.

Obligatory Day-After-White-Sox-Make-A-Trade Post

The Man Whose Columns I Shall Not Link is making noise again. I have made many of my posts on this site in the wee hours of the A.M. For undisclosed reasons, making posts at this time is probably going to end with this one. So this is it. I'm going to pull up a nice bag of Wheat Thins, get comfy in this chair in my sweatpants, and watch Jay Mariotti delay my sleeping hours for one last time.

Griffey's presence will help, but White Sox still flawed

Couldn't be more giddy. Talks about how Griffey physically being there is more valuable than him doing anything baseball-wise.

Please understand this: The White Sox are not getting the first-ballot Hall of Famer, the Ken Griffey Jr. once endorsed for president by Nike, the phenom who scaled fences and blasted home runs in flurries and defined the essence of the five-tool stud.

::gathers up every person in the state of Illinois::

Sit down everyone. Now listen carefully. If any of you think that the Ken Griffey Jr. that is coming to the White Sox is anywhere near as good as the Ken Griffey Jr. from say, 10, even 5 years ago, please stand up.

::no one moves::

Useful first sentence, Jay!

Please know they're getting Griffey in his 38-year-old twilight, the Griffey who hasn't played center field regularly since 2006, the Griffey who has gained weight, the Griffey who wasn't coveted by anyone but Ken Williams.

Coveted? He sent away a fringe middle reliever and a 2B who seems to be on the verge of washing out. I would have been worried if either of those guys was of any importance, but clearly, this was just a move that required absolutely no risk to make.

What they're looking for is some stability in center, some power in the No. 6 hole and a way to demote Paul Konerko, whose mysterious demise no longer is tolerable. But the Mark Teixiera trade, this is not.

No shit.

A plan-another-parade trade, this is not. If the Sox truly were gunning for another championship, they would have thought bigger, bolder and younger -- and also would have addressed their pitching, defense and speed issues.

I would love to see Jay Mariotti be a GM! It would be so much fun!

Jay Mariotti: What's out there on that market! We need to get power, pitching, defense and speed, right away!

Assistant: Well, there's several good candidates out there, but....

Jay Mariotti: But WHAT? Let's get them!

Assistant: Well, you traded away your farm system last year in the "Bigger, Bolder and Younger" campaign last year.

Jay Mariotti: Nonsense! There has to be someone good still playing down in the minors for us to deal.....

Assistant: No, I mean you literally traded away your farm system. We don't even have any minor league teams anymore.

Jay Mariotti: When the fuck did I do that? What do we even have to show for it?

Assistant: The guys you've been whining about acquiring for what seems like forever! Mark Teixeira, Torii Hunter, Dwyane Wade, Derek Anderson, and Coco Crisp. Sir.....a couple of those men don't even play baseball....are you sure that you know what you're doing here?

Jay Mariotti: Duh! Appeasing insatiable blowhard columnists! That's what general managers do, right?

Assistant: Sir, Wade just threw his 8th wild pitch of this game.

Jay Mariotti: Piss off already.

In failing to land Huston Street or another reliever, Williams leaves the Sox scarily vulnerable in the bullpen.

Because he didn't want to trade away Aaron Poreda, a man whose existence I'm quite sure you're unaware of.

They are not, in other words, going to win another World Series this year.

Uh oh, Jay's busting out the crystal ball again! Might I remind you that there is no possible way you can say that with confidence?

The Sox remain a big, plodding, muscular team that hits for power -- Carlos Quentin, Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome, Griffey, Joe Crede when he returns -- but has trouble manufacturing runs any other way.

The White Sox have scored 539 big, plodding, muscular runs this season. That's some good ploddin' lemme tells ya. Good for third in the AL, it is. But they haven't produced any runs from their Run Factory Manufacturing Production Plant System Depot Building For Manufacturing Runs. Which would be a concern, except, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW THE FUCK YOU SCORE YOUR RUNS AS LONG AS YOU SCORE THEM!

They'd be great in Home Run Derby. A recipe for glory, it is not.

Do I have to bring up the 2006 Cardinals again? I do, don't I? The recipe for glory involves things like Scott Spezio and Jeff Weaver. The White Sox have....Griffey. Nope, not on the list, sorry.

Do give Williams props in one respect, though. He senses a good story, an opportunity for an all-time great to revitalize his career in a pennant race and reach down for a big homer here, an important catch there while offering a daily clubhouse reminder that he never has played in the Series.

That's what Williams is trying to do! He sure doesn't care if he wins playoff games, but dadgummit, it's a good story!

The Angels clearly became the team to beat in October with their dynamic acquisition of Teixiera, whose power production answers their only deficiency.

Apparently playing Maicer Izturis and Jeff Mathis every day doesn't qualify as a "deficiency".

Every team has problems. The Angels aren't infallible or anything.

But at least Williams gave his ballclub an impetus to outlast the Twins and Tigers in the American League Central. Maybe Sox players who wear 2005 rings, and aren't necessarily driven to win another, will feed off the motivation to win for Junior.

I challenge you to find one player on the Chicago White Sox that does not want to win a World Series very badly. It's not like I have some sort of proof that they all do. It's just that I'm calling you out on having no clue what the hell you're talking about.

Maybe everyday players who are struggling or don't inspire confidence -- Konerko, Nick Swisher, Brian Anderson -- will be inspired to perform now that a legend is bumping their playing time.

Apparently, logging 139 ABs through the end of July without any DL stints earns you the title of "everyday player" in Jay's mind.

I mean, this is Ken Griffey Jr. Can't he help just by being around?

No.

"One of the things that factored into this was a guy who has had a great career but has not won a championship and how motivated he's going to be to get on that stage," Williams said. "That is a factor and will always be a factor for me."

Or, as Swisher told the media in Minnesota, "I just think there's a lot of added things he can bring. I mean, I had posters of that guy on my wall growing up. So I think it's going to be an awesome thing for all of us."

This is all very nice to include, Jay. But somehow, I don't think Griffey never having won a World Series or the number of posters of Griffey that Nick Swisher had in his room growing up really have any effect. Just a hunch.....

And the rotation has become a roulette wheel, with Jose Contreras reduced to limbo, Mark Buehrle and Javier Vazquez not performing like aces and too much riding on young John Danks and Gavin Floyd, neither of whom has pitched in a pennant race.

Number of 2007 Colorado Rockies starting pitchers that had previously pitched in a pennant race: 0.

I am so sick of people making a big fucking deal out of whether someone has pitched in a pennant race before. It's the same game with the same rules on April 15th as it is on September 13th.

What the Griffey deal does, I suppose, is pacify the Blizzard of Oz and save his liver, at least for a day or two.

If this is the main function of the Griffey deal, Kenny Williams not only needs to be fired, but he should be legally forced to suck Jay Mariotti's balls as well.

Indeed, no promises have been made to Griffey about next year or the $16 million. He is here to win a World Series.

Too bad I can't say the same about the Sox.

Yes, "too bad." You clearly want them to win very badly.

Asshole.

Don't Believe Anything You Hear from a GM

An ordinary day here in Cincinnati. I wake up, ease into my morning, glance through the local rag. In it, I find out that Walt Jocketty's got a few soundbites for us:

"I'd be surprised if something happens," he said. "It's been pretty quiet. I've called some teams just to talk. But everyone's saying it's quiet."

I wonder what happened when Walt called Kenny Williams "just to talk". Maybe they talked about the Reds emulating the recent smash-success promotion the White Sox held on July 19. (I was there. It was great.). Maybe Walt called him just to talk about how their bitchy wives just didn't understand why the trade deadline was so important. I can just hear Kenny: "I don't know how many times I have to explain the waiver system to her, she just doesn't get it! She just keeps asking 'Why can't you just let that guy go play somewhere else?'"

Maybe they called to talk about trading the most high-profile player the Reds have ever had.

"To trade a player away from our team, we'd have to get someone who would help us in the future," Jocketty said.

Well, I'm not sure a shortstop with a minor-league OPS of .779 and a left-handed pitcher with a minor-league record of 31-49 and a WHIP of 1.46 are going to help the Reds a whole lot in the future, barring some Rookie of the Year accidents for these gentlemen.

Let's keep in mind that I'm not really opposed to this trade; I just thought that the general public should be aware that 97% of what comes out of a general manager's mouth is space-filling bullshit.

A Fat Shit Meets a Hall of Famer; Hilarity Ensues

This Guy Went Home A Winner

Here's the problem here: Fans Who Think They're Part Of The Game.

I'm not going to excoriate the guy for shit-talking; that's just fine. What I do take issue with:

"We were getting eye contact from all the players when I decided I would give the Dodgers an extra edge" by yelling at Griffey.

What the hell? Does this guy honestly value his own shit life so little that he is willing to risk his public image of being a decent guy who doesn't make fun of peoples' cancer-ridden mothers simply in order to give an "edge" to his beloved Dodgers?

"when you come to my stadium, you're fair game."

The thing is, my friend, if it was *your* stadium, you could publish your blog on the front page of the Murdoch/McCourt news syndicates... but since it is not in any respect *owned* by you, you have to publish this news on your MySpace. Not quite the same. Did you have to pay to get into *your* stadium, Sir? Oh. Yeah. You did.

"I totally got into his head. He went 0-3 and finally got a little base hit in the 9th."

"I just went outside and screamed at the sun and it went down! I got into that motherfucker's head! I bet he won't dare show his face in MY NEIGHBORHOOD ever again! What a little bitch!"

"This is DODGER TOWN GRIFF"

By all accounts, sir, Los Angeles Dodgers fans are among the more apathetic in baseball, legendary for arriving in the 2nd and leaving in the 7th. Perhaps you were not aware of that; your personal appearance and your uncouth comments suggest that you are unaware of normal conventions accepted by pretty much all levels of society on how not to be a fuckstick.


I realize this seems inappropriate for this blog: I'm criticizing a douchebag's MySpace post, not a media article... but I had to lend my small voice to excoriate this douchebag. Remember when you were six and you considered it a victory when you poked your big brother hard enough to interrupt him just as he was jumping for the flag at the end of a level in Super Mario Brothers?

That's this guy.

And on a side note: anyone else who tells you that you can't judge people based on appearances is wrong. To go with the Grizzly Adams beard, this fuckdo0d sports the rockstar-backwards-adjustable-velcro-psuedo-denim Dodgers hat to support his fandom and contain his overly large cranium.