Lee Corso: Strung Out, Or Just Confused?

Lee was on ESPN Radio's "The Mike Tirico Show" yesterday, which was actually "The Chris Fowler Show" for the day because Tirico was out of town. Chris (apparently not realizing that asking Corso to contribute in a non-visual medium prevents him from wearing mascot heads, which severely limits his entertainment value) called Coach asked him for his very early preseason top 5:

"USC, Georgia, Florida, Ohio State, LSU, and, uh, Georgia. So that's more than five teams but you get the idea."

Is that more than five? Yes... but also, no. My head is spinning. Shit, I've fallen into Lee's web of nonsense. This is how I'd probably feel if Gregg Easterbrook wrote an article about how the Patriots represent evil and the Colts represent good. If.

And I apologize that all my posts this week have been pathetic little pieces of crap. I'm sure all four of you are very disappointed. As you may or may not remember, I hate it when bloggers share information about their personal lives. So all I will say to explain myself is that I just started a new job which requires getting up much earlier than I'm used to and keeps me away from computers all day. I know what you're thinking- yes, I'm now a hot air balloon tour guide. Anyways I'll work on adjusting my schedule to allow for longer posts. I'm being sincere when I say that I miss writing them as much as some of you miss reading them.

The other excuse I can make is that it's late February so there ain't jack diddly shit going on in the world of sports right now. (Relatively.) Come March 31, I'm pretty sure things around here will kick into high gear.

It's that time of year again...

The air is starting to get cooler, days are getting shorter, school is starting up again, coeds are starting to aimlessly wander back home from frat houses at 1pm, and you all know what that means: no, I'm not talking about College Football starting up again. I'm talking about the greatest unintentional comedy every single Saturday. YES YES YES OH MY GOD YES! Lou Holtz is back on the TV. The man is a comic genius. It's like seeing your senile grandpa pulled out of the nursing home once a week, dressed up in a suit and put in front of a camera in order to babble the most incomprehensible, rambling nonsense possible. The last 2 seasons were goldmines of high hilarity from Holtz, be it his rant against text messaging recruiting, his inability to understand why Gary Barnett was in trouble at Colorado, or telling viewers that the reason Penn State went 11-1 in 2005 is because Joe Paterno coached old school, hard nose football.

This week he has started off the season fabulously.

1. Adamantly predicted Notre Dame to win at least 10, if not 11, games this season.
2. Repeatedly referred to Missouri coaches and players as he talked about his surprise team, Kansas
3. Picked Chad Henne as his preseason Heisman winner

Now let's play a game: if you had predict one media personality to become exactly like Holtz (pants shitting and all) in the next 30 years, who would you pick? My guess is College GameDay host Kirk Herbstreit, who had this gem this week:

"One thing you are well aware of.. the last 5 years: 11 or more wins for Pete Carrol (at USC). You know what that tells you? They are able to avoid Complacency. And that's the challenge this year. Let me make myself perfectly clear: Who's the team that will knock off USC this year: NOBODY. USC will be scared a handful of times, but the resiliency and the guts of this football team will be tested, and each time they will find a way to get it done. In my mind, I'm not saying they're not gonna have some close calls, just like they did two years ago with Matt Lienart and Reggie Bush. but they will find a way to win in some hostile environments."

Ugh.

And after they win the national championship, they will have the valour and honor to accept their victories with good sportsmanship, taught to them by their intrepid coach, Pete Carrol. And then they will drink and party with authority, tear through the coed population of USC with fervor, and pass Communications 101 with resiliency.

If only my CU Buffaloes had half the guts and killer instincts of USC, we wouldn't go 2-10 again.