"Good For the Game" Means "Good for an Article"

I've run into this several times in the sports media: writers making a claim about their personal feelings, then claiming that it's "good for the game". A particularly egregious article cited things that are "good for baseball". Over the last few weeks, I've noticed a real spike in the same bullshit claim about college football's major teams doing well being "good for the game" from Dennis Dodd and HatGuy. Overall, these guys just like to make claims and say that they're somehow good for some kind of abstract notion of "the game".

I think it's some kind of stupid nostalgia for college football as it has been. That way, writers can keep writing about the dynasties that keep the storied traditions alive, instead of actually having to research the emerging traditions at new programs. Plus, articles about Boise State, no matter how many games they win or how blue their turf is, are never going to generate as many hits as articles about Notre Dame. Even when Boise state has won 35 regular-season games and a BCS bowl over the last three years.

Peter Shrager from FoxSports.com has this to say about the resurgent seasons of Notre Dame, Michigan and Miami. Its core point is precisely what's been circling the sportswriting world: that it's good for the game if these three teams have successful seasons. Since the article is pretty long, I've picked out the most annoying parts of it:

Across the board, the three traditional powerhouses are more than just coming around, they're making waves.

Nice writing there. Clever use of idiom.

Love the three programs or hate them, they're good for college football. A relevant, competitive Michigan is better than a scandal-ridden, bottom of the Big Ten Michigan. Even an Ohio State fan would tell you that.

Why? I don't follow. If Michigan were to go bad, couldn't some other team in the B10 rise into the power vacuum? Is a bad Northwestern team good for the Big Ten?

Is the contrapositive to this proposition true as well? If we accept that "powerhouses doing well is good for the game" is true, does that mean that "non-powerhouses doing typically poorly is good for the game"?

And why does it only apply to college football? I can't wait till Peter Schrager's next column about the NCAA Basketball Tournament, where he explains that higher seeds winning every game in the tournament is Good For The Game.

If Notre Dame wasn't "back" after its strong showing in Ann Arbor a week ago, it certainly is knocking on the door after Saturday.

You are an idiot, Mr. Schrager. Notre Dame barely lost to an average Michigan team and almost lost to a below average Michigan State team which, the week before, demonstrated an inability to clear the mighty hurdle of the Central Michigan Chippewas.

The Irish are better than last year but they aren't knocking on any kind of door. Unless it's a new coach's door, hopefully.

Either way, Notre Dame matters again. And that's good.

Both of those statements are presented in short, declarative sentences as though they are indisputable. Both of those sentences are disputable - if not outright false.

Again, like 'em or hate 'em, having Michigan matter is a good thing for the game.

Why? I liked last year when Michigan didn't matter. It was great! Football was still fun to watch!

Regarding Miami's victories over GT and FSU:

The crazy part? They could just be getting started. Up ahead on the schedule, the 'Canes travel to Blacksburg for a 3:30 p.m. EST affair with defending ACC champion Virginia Tech on Saturday. Win that one? Miami's a top-five team. Then, the 'Canes get Oklahoma at home the following Saturday after that. Win that affair and Miami has not only a top-three team in the nation, but also the inside track on a BCS title game berth.

Again, Mr. Schrager, saying something in a short, declarative sentence does not enhance its truth value. Unless they absolultely slaughter VT and a team or two loses, Miami's probably not going to jump into the top 5.

Also, I don't think any of this is logically sound. The ACC champ is still going to get left out if the Big 12 and SEC champs go undefeated, so they don't have any sort of "inside track". Plus, this is the sort of breathless speculation that makes me ill.

Getting ahead of myself?

Yes.

Perhaps.

Yes.

But don't tell quarterback Jacory Harris and the rest of the young Hurricanes that.

You just did.

Three weeks into the season, the U looks as good as any team in the nation. And yes, that includes their intrastate rivals, the No. 1 Florida Gators.

I don't know how good GT and FSU will turn out to be, but I'm pretty sure the U is not riding the nation's longest winning streak.

And whether you like the three powerhouse programs or not, that's good for college football.

Why?

I'm all for the South Floridas and Boise States of the world making runs at BCS titles,

No, you're not. The thesis of your article suggests exactly the opposite! You can't just say this!

but it makes for a better Saturday when the Michigan, Notre Dame and Miami games on TV actually mean something.

Why?

There's something right about it. Something natural.

What?

There's something right, something natural about me kicking Peter Schrager in the nuts next time he prints something as stupid as this. It would be good for the game.

More World Series Eschatology!

The sky is falling! The country's about to elect a Muslim! Notradamus once suggested that the world could end in 2009! Scott Miller won't let the 2009 World Series take place!

Next year's World Series has, without question, got to be stopped.

What are you, a terrorist? The threat level just went up to lavender.

It simply cannot be played.

It can and it will.

At least, not into November, it can't.

It has and it can.

Or shouldn't.

Ok, now that we're done with the hyperbole, let's talk shop.

It is utterly preposterous, and anyone who either shivered through the rain and cold during Games 4 and 5 here or watched what devolved into a mud-wrestling contest in Game 4 knows this.

A team plays a full 162-game schedule, busts its collective butt for six months, nurse-maids its fragile pitchers, chews through hundreds of packs of sunflower seeds

hundreds of packs of sunflower seeds? I bet the big leaguers either (a) chew carcinogens or (b) buy their seeds by the bucket.

... and then reaches what is supposed to be the sport's pinnacle, only to wind up playing a bastardized version of something Abner Doubleday never would have created? While wearing hoodies and ear muffs?

Things Abner Doubleday never would have created:

1. Baseball
   
2. Baseball gloves
3. Cracker jack
4. Home Runs
5. An America without a Civil War
6. Cold baseball
   

This is not a defense of the Tampa Bay Rays, who lost because they were outplayed.

Truth.

This is not an apology for the Phillies, who didn't exactly hide the fact that Citizens Bank Park actually does not have a roof when the baseball world moved in last Friday.

Funny, nobody seemed to complain about the cold until ONE GAME GOT RAIN DELAYED OMG.

This is just to reiterate that playing baseball this late into October might be reaching the point where it's not worth the trade-off for an extra round of playoffs, which most people (with the help of commissioner Bud Selig's constant reminders) now take as gospel was a brilliant idea.

Probably the best, calmest and most sensible sentence in the article. But frankly: the wild card IS a good idea.

Let's be clear here: The wild-card round is a good idea. Great idea. In theory.

Communism is a great idea in theory, except it doesn't take into account human laziness. The wild-card round is a very good idea in theory and a good idea in practice.

But there are diminishing returns if it contributes toward pushing the World Series, what formerly was one of sports' best events, off the cliff.

Seriously: what the fuck. One game gets rained out and suddenly the whole concept of a World Series is "off the cliff"?

We're emerging from a fifth consecutive crappy World Series -- none of which has lasted longer than five games -- and the weather has directly affected at least three in a row.

Completely illogical argument. The weather has to be the worst factor to blame for this streak of shitty World Series.

The time is coming when we'll look back on this 46-hour Game 5 interruption as a minor inconvenience. We will be dog-paddling to stay afloat in some biblical-proportion flood, or losing fingers to frostbite in the teeth of a World Series-stopping blizzard, when we do.

Jesus. Scott Miller is batshit crazy. Guano-mound crazy. He probably advocated this legislation-crazy.

****************

Rational baseball fans: let's all get together and stop complaining about one rainout. Let's all realize that weather is weather, and that a couple of games taking place in the next numerical month is not a significant enough problem to radically restructure the regular season or the playoffs.

Writers:
For the last time: stop shouting just to shout. I know it makes you a paycheck, but it lowers the level of discourse in our society.