I'm Not a Hockey Expert

Nor have I ever watched a hockey match, because hockey is the lamest sport this side of soccer, amirite?

/guy at a party who thinks he's clever and funny because he makes fun of sports that aren't football

But seriously now. I know that the U.S.'s win over Canada tonight was an upset. But anyone who wants to compare it to the 1980 Miracle on Ice is probably stretching things, don't you think? Ignoring the Cold War backdrop, you're still trying to compare a bunch of college players beating a team of full time professionals who hadn't lost in forever to a team of NHL players beating a team of better NHL players who didn't even medal at the last Olympics. I mean, hey- I love that highlight. Good for Al Michaels and all that. I welcome any excuse to break it out. I just really think it's silly to compare these two wins. They have a team of superstars... we have a team with some superstars and some regular stars. Let's try not to suck our own dicks too hard on this one. But I'm sure every sports media outlet will be doing just that for the next few days. Awesome.

Sportscenter got an early start on that by leading tonight's show with the 1980 highlight. Hilariously, because they refuse to pay whatever exorbitant price NBC has put on video licensing, they led the show with "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES... YEEESSSS" and then just showed stillframe photos from tonight's game. You could really feel the energy and excitement though! And then they showed the box score. I don't know who to hate more- Dick Ebersol and his team of selfish fucktards at NBC, or the ABC/ESPN axis of morons who are responsible for "Who's Now?" and the idea that it's OK to lead your highlight program with a series of still photographs. I'll just go with both.