Rick Reilly: Now wasting his time in addition to yours

Rick Reilly is an award winning journalist who is paid over $1 million a year. His column appears ONCE A WEEK.

I used to think the worst jobs in sports were: (1) Thong wrangler for John Daly.

But being a thong wrangler for Phil Mickelson wouldn't be a SHIT job!? Get it? Thong...SHIT job.

(2) Mark McGwire's injector.

Second thing having to do with touching someone's butt. Is (3) going to be "NFL Quarterback ewwwwwww!"

(3) Detroit Lion.

Topical....check
Real....check
Low paying job that every football fan is glad they don't have.....uncheck

These are the folks who come running out just before the halftime concert yelling like they just won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, even though the band isn't even on stage yet.

Let me give you some advice: Don't. Be. One.

No.real.football.fan.needed.to.be.told.this.

You know how sometimes you have an idea you think will be hilarious and clever, but it ends up worse than being trapped under Kevin James in a Finnish sauna?

Kevin James is fat! And he's in a successful movie that's out now! Double-Win!

"You'll be 10 feet from Bruce Springsteen!" I said to myself. "You'll find out who all those people are we see every year! The game's going to be a blowout anyway. What'll you miss?"

1. What sports journalist watches the Superbowl and walks away with the lingering question "But who were those people on the field during the concert!?"

2. Nothing says ESPNation like the assumption that the Steelers would steam roll the Cardinals.

3. If you spend time wondering about who the people at Superbowl concerts are, you don't have the right to complain about missing anything related to football.

Turns out these "fans" are real people—almost 2,000 of them.

Real people you say? Thank god someone cleared this up.

They're local teachers, nurses and students willing to rehearse for two 10-hour days and then show up at noon for a 6 p.m. football game, of which they'll get to see none of.

Once again, if you're willing to go through all this shit just to be near Bruce Springstein, then you really have no room to complain about missing any of the Superbowl.

Reilly goes on to complain about other shit, like how people further back could hear way better than the people up close. That's never happened before! Stop the presses!

Let me ask though, if you're ESPN's star reporter, and this is your first Superbowl with the company, what in the fucking hell are you doing writing your Superbowl story about the people involved in the one non-football event of the Superbowl? I know, Rick Reilly writes about human emotions blah blah, but for fuck's sake at least involve an athlete in the story in some way. Oh and did I mention he gets paid 7 figures to write one column a week? Unbelievable.