Showing posts with label steve phillips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steve phillips. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Steve Phillips: Beautifully Tanned... and Stupid

Re: Rafael Furcal's 3 error performance in the top of the 5th tonight-

This is so surprising because he only made 4 errors during the entire regular season! I mean, he did miss a lot of time... but still, only 4 errors!

That's what it sounds like when the capable 5% of an idiot's brain tries to overcome the useless 95% and inevitably fails. Furcal did indeed miss a lot of time. In fact, he missed 136 games. He played in 26; for those of you without an abacus, that's around 15% of the season. If Furcal had played a full 162, he was on pace to end up with about 24 errors. Obviously three in one inning is a cataclysm no matter how you slice it, and well ahead of that 162 game pace. I'm just nitpicking because Steve Phillips deserves to be nitpicked.

This is like having an NFL quarterback get injured after throwing two interceptions while playing in three regular season games, returning for the playoffs, subsequently throwing two in one quarter, and having Troy Aikman gasp in astonishment because "He only threw two interceptions all year! I mean, he missed some time..."

I think I'll officially declare this nitpick week here at FireJay. Oh, and it's also misspelling week.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Strikes And Gutters, Dude, Strikes And Gutters

My sequence of thoughts shortly after waking up this morning-

1) Zzzzz.... wha.... Oh my God! It's here! It's finally here! It's opening day! Hooraaaaayyyyyyy!

*quickly scrambles to couch, turns on TV*

2) Wow! And the Red Sox are losing! This is the greatest day of my life!

*ten seconds pass*

3) Fuck. Why is Steve Phillips talking?

*sighs, turns off TV, gets ready for work*

That's life, I guess. Just when you think everything is going your way, Steve Phillips starts running his mouth as if he actually knows where both his asshole and elbow are.