Fuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wish I could have liveblogged this entire game.

Scene: Tigers/Twins, Bottom of the 10th, Tigers lead 5-4. One out. Runners on first and third. Your hitter is Matt Tolbert. Yes, that's right, a player as bad as Matt Tolbert is going to decide the fate of the single biggest game of regular season baseball. Chip Caray and "Color Guy" have the call.

Pitch 1: Rodney throws a hard breaking ball down. Tolbert waves at it with his bat about 2 feet over where the ball crosses the plate with all the velocity of an old Asian woman driving on the expressway.

Pitch 2: Called fastball strike at the knees.

Pitch 3: Tolbert hits a weak bouncer up the middle. Within inches of Polanco's glove and a likely game-ending double-play (despite Tolbert's speed), the ball sneaks past the infield up the middle for a hit.

Color Guy: "What an at-bat by Tolbert!"

That's the formula for hitting success folks. It's simpler than we thought.

Step 1: Swing at awful pitch
Step 2: Take called strike
Step 3: Weakly hit bouncer
Step 4: ....
Step 5: Win!

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And to conclude the game:

Chip Caray: You have to tip your cap to the Jim Leyland and the Detroit Tigers. They could not hold a 7 game lead at the beginning of September.

Gee there Chip, that sure was a thoughtful thing to say! You gotta hand it to the Chicago Cubs. They did not come close to living up to their talent this year.