Friday, August 31, 2007

I Mean, It IS the Title of the Site, Right?

My apologies for hitting the same guy twice in one day. But as soon as I finished the last post, I noticed he had published this garbage. I'm starting to agree with Jay/Chris W. on the "Fire Ozzie" issue, so his point is right, but Jay sinks ridiculously low in this one. I'll save time and just cut out the highlights.

I am genuinely concerned that Ozzie Guillen is about to say or do something that will shame him and his bosses forever. Hey, have I been wrong about him yet?

You are constantly wrong about him. I can think of maybe two things in the past you have said about Ozzie that were not wrong.

Not only is this man-child a poor loser, he's a scary loser, capable of who knows what as the $108 million White Sox stumble to one of the most underachieving and farcical seasons in baseball history.

Again, Williams paid the wrong players too much. Preseason predicted record: 72-90. I am starting to repeat myself as much as Jay.

[Please] note that the more he lights into his ballplayers, the further they go into the tank. After their 18th loss in 23 games Thursday evening, there is only one sensible conclusion about Guillen's leadership breakdowns amid a 94-122 nosedive since July 2 of last year.

Record of the Sox since July 2 of last year. There it is again. People, this is getting ridiculous. I bet most of you thought I was exaggerating last time when I said he mentions this in every single White Sox column.

He must be fired. Now, today, yesterday -- before the Sox lose every fan they cultivated two years ago.

You openly said last week that you weren't advocating firing him right now.

''Don't like me but win for me, and everything will be fine,'' he said. ''I'd rather they say that than, 'Oh, Ozzie is great, he's my friend, he love my kids and we're in last place.' [Expletive] that. When they see my wife, I hope they say, 'Look at that [expletive], that's Ozzie's wife, she's [married] to a piece of [expletive] like him.' Good, as long as in October we have the trophy. That's what I want.''

My God, is nothing sacred in his life? Yes, it's clubhouse boys' talk, but it's also another example of how clueless he is about handling adversity.

You are a fat, white, middle-aged man in a suit with a cushy job writing about sports. And you have the fucking nerve to tell someone belonging to an ethnic minority who is under the public eye and criticized constantly that he has no idea how to handle adversity. Mariotti, you have no fucking clue what adversity is.

Wednesday, he sounded hideous when he said, here in the 21st century, that his team is ''killing'' him, ''killing'' his family, ''killing'' his coaching staff, ''killing'' the fans, ''killing'' the owner and ''killing everyone.'' No one is dying here, chief. If the Sox have faded into their usual irrelevance, after a brief and aberrational run as champs, let's keep in mind that no lives have been spared.

Jay's Editor: Uhhh, Jay, you might want to change the last word of that paragraph.

Jay: Shut up Jeffrey. I don't need an editor.

Jay's Editor: But you see, you just wrote that no lives were spared, which means everyone is dead, the exact opposite of your point. I think you meant "no lives have been lo-"

Jay: Dammit Jeffrey, you've pissed me off more times since July 2nd of last year than I can even count. Get out of my face, you're fired.

Jay's Editor: Fine! You smell awful! I wonder if Mike Celizic needs an editor.....

But what really should bother us about his latest tirade is that Guillen, more strongly than ever, continues to harshly deflect blame onto his players. In truth, he is primarily responsible for the dismal, lifeless culture that has produced a 28-games-under-.500 reversal since the Sox ruled the baseball world.

You could put the best leader in history in charge of the White Sox, and they would still be awful. I don't know how else to explain it.

Just so you know, the perfect replacement could be available, too. Don't you think La Russa would whip them into shape? You may remember him as a young buck who managed the Sox to a division title in 1983. He was fired three years later by Hawk Harrelson, who somehow was dumber as a general manager than as a Reinsdorf-bobo broadcaster, and he went on to a Hall of Fame career in Oakland and St. Louis. This would be a nice way to rectify one mistake.

And eliminate another.

Right. OK. Sure. Tony La Russa could fix the White Sox. Totally uncrazy. Normal. Sane. Cool. That has about the same chance of happening as Michael Jackson fixing the national debt or Paris Hilton stopping the war in Iraq.


larry b said...

nice metalabel!

nice analysis, too.

Chris Hart said...

What's with the July 2nd thing? Were they in first at that point? All-star break? Did they go on a 10 game losing streak right after that? So weird.

pnoles said...

July 2nd is just some date that Jay hand-picked to exaggerate the dive the White Sox have taken. It has absolutely no significance.