manager has two first names, zero baseball sense

from the end of a boring article on the brewers, we see a gem about the d-backs

Oh, here's one other reason the D-Backs are dominating: Center fielder Chris Young leads all rookies with 26 homers (Milwaukee's Ryan Braun has 24), and he's adept at instant runs: His seven leadoff homers lead the majors.

I wonder if the correllation of teams that make the playoffs and teams that have the player with the most leadoff home runs is 100%. It probably is!

Arizona manager Bob Melvin on Young: "You look at his numbers and thnk he should be hitting in any other spot but the one spot. If he's a power guy, why don't I bat him lower? Well, I don't have anybody else I can put in the leadoff spot."

Oh, I don't know, Bob... maybe one of the six D-Back regulars with over 200 AB who have a higher OBP than Young's anemic .289? I figured even you could understand his .230 BA. But I guess he's your only leadoff guy, since he has 21 steals.

• Meanwhile, Arizona's usual cleanup hitter, Conor Jackson, has 42 RBI. Says Melvin: "Somehow, our lineup has been functionally dysfunctional."

Or maybe Conor Jackson should sack up and hit the ball out of the park more than nine times. Maybe, Bob, instead of spouting gibberish paradoxes to the media, you should change the lineup so that it is functionally functional, ostensibly by not batting Young leadoff?