Monday, August 13, 2007

Duurrrrrr...

Today's ESPN.com Diamond Daily takes the stupidity to a new level.

When the Red Sox traded for Eric Gagne in the last possible moments before the trade deadline, no one thought the results would be as dreadful as they have been through the first half of August. For the second straight appearance, Gagne frittered away an eighth-inning advantage, and Boston's ever-dwindling lead in the AL East fell by another game on Sunday.

I'm sure the fact that Boston is losing their AL East lead has nothing whatsoever to do with the Yankees, who have won 23 out of 31 games since the all star break. And while we're at it, why don't we take an itty, bitty, miniscule sample size for Gagne and make it sound like he's atrotious?

The Boston bullpen, so good in the early part of the season, has struggled these past two weeks with Gagne. Those who wondered why the Red Sox would mess with a good thing by adding Gagne --

Who is one of the best relievers in the Majors

a closer with little to no experience in the set-up role

Hahahahahahahahaha. So he can handle the "high stress, super clutch" requirements of a closer, but he cannot handle the 7th or 8th innings?

-- are looking pretty smart right about now.

No they are not. They are looking just as stupid as they did before. And maybe a little less stupid than Diamond Daily writer Mark Simon

So are the Yankees, who have a new, highly capable set-up man in rookie Joba Chamberlain and a closer who has been mistake-free (with no blown saves) for more than a month in Mariano Rivera.

While we're on the topic of small samples size, this takes the cake. Chamberlain is pitching shutout baseball, with a season ERA of 0.00. WOW, how about that? You can't score on him I guess. What's that you say? He's only pitched 4 innings this season? Oh. And Rivera? He's had 10 appearances, and 11.1 innings of work in the last month. Yep that's some reallly good data there.

The momentum in the AL East race has shifted. For the Red Sox to get back on track, they need Gagne to live up to the French translation of his name ("to win")in more ways than one.

I have one thing to say to Mark Simon: "Firmez ta Bouche." That's French for shut your mouth.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

it would be "Fermez ta bouche."
also, a French speaking person would never say that. They'd go for "Ta gueule", which is closer to the "STFU" you were going for.
(side note)

Anonymous said...

So umm, you're saying the momentum hasn't shifted? Because that would make you more idiotic than the guy who write that column. Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

This blog routinely makes snarky comments about journalists' typos, misspellings and general misuse of the language. Yet here's a post that misspells minuscule and atrocious and, not satisfied with fumbling English, goes on to mangle French as well.

You might want to stop casting stones.

Franklin said...

aww c'mon. The main purpose of this site is to throw stones. That's the fun!

larry b said...

thanks franklin.

here's the difference between us and professional journalists, anonymous #3- they get paid to write (and have editors that get paid to edit). i'm doing this for fun. therefore, i will make all the fucking mistakes i want.

nicolas sarkozy said...

Larry b- by writing, "Firmez ta Bouche", you completely ruined the ridiculous and idiotic argument you just made. When the yankees go from being 14+ out to 4 out, that does qualify as the momentum shifting ass wipe. Furthermore, while Chamberlain has only pitched 4 innings (and you are correct that's not a large enough sample size to label him a HOFer), anyone with half a brain can look at his stuff (99 mph fastball plus a filthy slider) and predict that he'll be successful. You have to also consider that pitchers have the advantage over hitters that have never seen them before (which will be the case most of the rest of the season for Joba). The only thing worse than your french is your knowledge of baseball. Foutez le camp, dick weed.

stout2441 said...

Funny thing happened last night. Rivera, the "closer who has been mistake-free (with no blown saves) for more than a month," blew a save against none other than the Orioles, and ended up vulturing the win because the O's couldn't field a weakly hit infield ball by Jeter. Seems pretty mistake-free to me there.

eriz said...

first of all, there are 5 writers for this site. I wrote this send up, not larry. It actually says who wrote it above each article.

When the yankees go from being 14+ out to 4 out, that does qualify as the momentum shifting ass wipe.

Hey dumbass, if you had read what I actually wrote, you'd notice that I said nothing bad about the yankess. In fact, i pointed out that the yankees are red hot right now. I merely pointed out that blaming a few bad innings by Gagne as the reason the Red Sox are losing their lead over the Yankess is monumentaly stupid.

And I'm pretty sure the Yankees wipe their asses at a constant velocity. I saw it in Sports Illustrated.

Furthermore, while Chamberlain has only pitched 4 innings (and you are correct that's not a large enough sample size to label him a HOFer), anyone with half a brain can look at his stuff (99 mph fastball plus a filthy slider) and predict that he'll be successful.

I was at the Cubs-Rockies game last week in which the Rockies' young pitcher Jiminez gave up like 8 runs in like 4 innings. He too has a wicked fastball and good ball movement. But he fucking sucks ass right now. You simply cannot judge a player with so little big league experience.

Retard