Wednesday, August 1, 2007

peter king vs. one of his readers in a "who is stupider?" contest

from king's latest mailbag on as is often the case when i post about mailbags, i have no idea whatsoever why king chose to print this question. i'm just going to assume it was for the enjoyment of readers like me.

KEEPING IT REAL. From David Floyd of North Carolina. "You are a great writer and I enjoy your columns on a regular basis. But I just have to ask you something. When the average American struggles on a daily basis to get by and faces real challenges daily, how is it one should look upon some of your musings? I mean, you've spoken of what a wonderful daughter or two you have, and you probably have just as wonderful of a wife. You live the life probably any man would dream of, covering the NFL and getting paid for it all the while. So when we see you complain about whichever Starbucks is nearby and the price of working out at a hotel gym center, and the cost of parking in Manhattan or hear any of the other rumblings which seem awfully miniscule to the average person trying to get by, what is one to think? Poor, poor pitiful Peter. How about this Peter? Every day you awake and look in the mirror, tell us how you hit your knees and thank your maker for gracing you with such a rich life."

david of north carolina, you are a bonafide douchebag. in the time you spent conceptualizing and writing that email, you could have written a check to the charity of your choice, put it in an envelope, addressed it, and dropped it off at the post office. talk about selfish! but king, never to be outdone, comes up with perhaps the worst possible answer:

I'm really glad you wrote that and knocked me down a peg or two. I need to hear stuff like that sometimes. Thanks for the wakeup call. The reason I told the story about the airfare and parking fare is that I found the comparison insane and I thought that you might too.

so basically... "yeah, you're right david, thanks for the perspective.... but (repeat of complaint). is that not ridiculous?" what a great example of two people talking to each other without communicating. and better still, in this case they are both extremely dumb. high comedy- that's what firejaymariotti is all about!


pnoles said...

This is a....sports....mailbag, yes?

Chris W said...

parking v. airfare mailbag

eriz said...

from the sports pickle:

‘Sports Illustrated’ football writer Peter King has hired a hit man to take out Packers rookie quarterback Aaron Rodgers. King called in the request, which will cost him $7,000, when he saw Rodgers replace Brett Favre at quarterback in Green Bay’s blowout loss to the Ravens on Monday night.
“As soon as I saw Brett Favre – brave, heroic Brett Favre – standing on the sidelines while some no-name rookie was taking snaps in his rightful place, I made the call,” said King. “I’ve had this guy on notice for years and told him that I would be needing his services one day if anyone ever tried to take Favre, Tom Brady or Bill Belichick out of my life.”
While King has given clear instructions that he wants Rodgers killed, he admits that some day his target may be Favre himself.
“I admit, sometimes I dream about killing him and then making a suit out of his skin and walking around as though I was actually Brett Favre,” said King. “I love Brett so much that sometimes I want to hurt him.”