Yes This Is Self-Indulgent and Yes This Will Piss Off Pnoles

Ok, so Nick Swisher was traded to the Yankees yesterday for Wilson...um...Betemit and some minor minor leaguers. And I'm sure steam is shooting out Pnoles ears. However, I'm not here to defend or attack this trade on any level.

What I am here to do is attack some bad commentary by the (normally decent) Mark Gonzales.

By trading Nick Swisher, the White Sox cleared $22.05 million off their books over the next three seasons

Or, another way of looking at it is, they cleared like 5 million for 2009. That's, you know, probably a better way of looking at it, since, you know, this trade wasn't a salary dump as much as it was a player dump.

and slightly alleviated what general manager Ken Williams described as "having a plethora of outfielders."

I really don't get the snarkiness here. Between Quentin, Dye, Konerko, Thome and Swisher, the White Sox had, like, 3 corner outfielders and 2 1B/DH types. Swisher had prior to 2008, played like 80 games at CF in his five year career. He described himself as uncomfortable at this position.

So the White Sox, depending on how you looked at it, had 3 corner outfielders, all of whom, for various reasons, should be considered as "starting" corner OFers. Now they have two. You know, the number of starting corner OFers a team is allotted. I don't know how this only "slightly" alleviates a problem, or how that problem needs to be qualified as "something Kenny Williams is describing as extant."

The Swisher trade worked only for the first two weeks of the regular season and when he filled in at first base when Paul Konerko was on the disabled list because of a ribcage strain in late June.

Oh ok. Gotcha.

Swisher was by no means great for the White Sox, but he produced slightly below league-average offense as an everyday player for a team that made the playoffs.

But the trade only worked for, like, three weeks of the season. Because...why? He had a lousy batting average and struck out a lot?

But It wouldn't be fair to put the entire blame on Swisher because he was moved to center field and batted leadoff only because of Jerry Owens' groin injuries in spring training.

I don't even have words for this. I really don't. Is Gonzales really suggesting that an OF, left to right, of Swisher/Owens/Dye would have helped this team more than Quentin/Swisher/Dye?

Maybe I just don't understand what his point is.

It's ironic that Swisher and Orlando Cabrera, who is leaving for free agency, are gone after being brought to the Sox to provide production at the top of the batting order as well as a spark to a stoic group of veterans that lost 90 games in 2007.

Why is this ironic? Cabrera was a one-year rental, acquired mostly for the improved draft picks he'd yield if he refused arbitration.

Swisher's departure is unexpected and disappointing, being, as it was, the result of a disappointing 2008 season. But it's not "ironic" that a young player fizzles out despite being penciled in as a cornerstone of a franchise.

No. That's not ironic. What would be ironic is if Nick Swisher were called "The Dirty 30" because he was a clean-nosed player.

Or if he, like, had sex with his mother or something. Or if it rained on his wedding day.

Semantics aside, Gonzales is leading into this point, which I totally disagree with:

But this signals the start of a new era in Sox history, with at least one more veteran likely to be traded.

Not sure how resolving the glut of corner OFers means another veteran will be traded. Dye, for instance, might be traded. But there's no reason to assume Kenny's going to create a hole in RF. Because that's what it would be now. A hole.

Further, Konerko, as a 10/5 guy coming off a lousy year is damned near untradeable, and Thome is a 9 million dollar contract holder who can't do anything but DH for like 130 games out of the year. Who's going to take that.

Not that a trade can't happen. I'm just confused as to how the ironical development of a one year rental leaving town and a disappointing young OFer being shipped before he is untradeable signals this "new era."

Oh well. Fuck it. I'll leave you with some hard hitting journalism. Fuck it:

Swisher will have to adapt to the Yankees' strict policies regarding facial hair.