September 25th game, White Sox vs Twins, Orlando Cabrera is on 1st base.
Hawk Harrelson: "Orlando Cabrera has 18 stolen bases on the year."
Darrin Jackson: "He's been sitting on 18 for awhile, gotta be at least two months since his last steal."
Hawk Harrelson: "It's been since August 5th."
Darrin Jackson: "So OVER two months!" (emphasis his)
I have no words.
This was a couple of days ago. I totally forgot to mention this. It's from a Twins/White Sox broadcast from perpetual dumbass Hawk Harrelson. Quote not exact, but close.
I tell ya one thing about Alexei Ramirez. He's the best baseball player we've got on our roster. Does he give you the most production? Certainly not. We've got several guys who are more productive. But as far as just playing the game of baseball goes, he's the best guy we've got.
Honorable Mention: Pablo Ozuna and Nick Masset
Jay Mariotti actually took the time to write this in his 24/7 online column. I couldn't be more shocked. I'll copy the entire thing here, and it's short. I refuse to link it for fear it may increase the number of hits this terrible terrible "sports" column gets.
Find your earplugs: Harrelson back
Jay is referring to the White Sox resigning Hawk Harrelson, the poor broadcaster, for the next several years.
Ensuring that illiteracy remains in the Chicago sports media for four more years, the White Sox have handed a contract extension to alleged broadcaster Ken (Hawk) Harrelson.
This is not a reason to write a column. You are abusing your privilege as a columnist for a personal attack. This as a premise for a column alone should be grounds for giving you a pink slip.
This means listeners in an otherwise sophisticated town will be punished with more hillbilly twang,
You heard it here first: Ken Harrelson is the only non-sophisticated thing in an "otherwise sophisticated town". Isn't this the city where some dude ran onto the field plastered to try to attack a first base coach with a knife in one stadium, while in the other people throw their garbage onto the field whenever the team plays bad late in the game? Are these "sophisticated" things to do? Walk around Wrigley Field in the 7th inning of a baseball game, and you'll see and hear just how "sophisticated" Chicago really is.
which is almost as embarrassing as Harrelson's .239 career batting average
ZING!
and his short-term flop as the general manager who fired Tony La Russa.
He fired the guy who felt Aaron Rowand was a better late-game hitting option than Albert Pujols? Tony La Russa is not now, nor ever has been, a good Major League Baseball manager. And even if he were, managers don't do that much.
Now Jay, try to relate this bullshit to something actually about baseball.
When the Sox should be attempting to reinvent an organization that already has lost its World Series cachet, they instead try to stay the same.
I hate to admit it, but I actually agree with Jay here.
Ken Harrelson, WARBs (Wins Above Replacement Broadcaster) for the past 5 years.
2003: 3.2
2004: 2.1
2005: 0.4
2006: -4.7 (oh boy...)
2007: -10.4
So as you can see, it was the broadcaster who profoundly and negatively affected the team's performance in 2007 (and possibly costed them a playoff berth in 2006), and not aging players, regression to the mean, Jerry Owens, or, as Jay believed, Ozzie being crazy and stupid. It was all about Ken Harrelson being crazy and stupid. This organization has just doomed itself.
Harrelson doesn't bring in audiences as much as he scares them away or makes them cringe, whether it's throwing one of his dead-air fits, blaming every loss on the umps or lowering himself to pick fights with media members far more professional and accomplished than him.
Ooooh hooooh hooooooooooooooh! It gets juicy!
The fact behind this comment is that Harrelson allegedly tried to pick a fight with Jay Mariotti in the press box.
As much as I believe Harrelson to be a bad broadcaster now (he wasn't as awful say, 10 years ago), let's look at the facts here for a second!
Ken Harrelson played Major League Baseball. He was the General Manager of a Major League Baseball team. He has been the TV broadcaster for said team for 2 decades or so.
Jay Mariotti writes a sports column for a newspaper. Millions of people are aware of him, and I've yet to meet one who didn't dislike him. He is also often on a TV show that features 4 idiot blowhards trying to suck Tony Reali's dick for "points". Rarely does Jay do any real sports analysis, and has become famous simply for generating controversy.
Which person is more accomplished? Jay feels, the latter.
And this is lovely. Jay has just patted himself on the back for being "far more professional" than Harrelson in the midst of a newspaper column written solely to continue his personal vendetta against the man. Shades of hypocrisy!
Consider it one more reason, along with the extension given to Ozzie Guillen, that the Sox are locked in as Chicago's second-class ballclub for years to come.
It just wouldn't be Jay if he attributed the Sox' failures to something that actually plays baseball. You know, something that actually affects the outcome of the games.
Column over.
White Sox / Yankees, 4th inning, Harrelson = dumb. Quote not exact, but close.
"We're really feeling the hurt of what is the most significant injury to this ballclub, and that is Pablo Ozuna. I think people are really seeing now what an important piece to the puzzle he was, because of the energy he brings".
Pablo Ozuna's WARP1's, 2005/2006/2007: 0.7/0.7/-0.2
Yes, Pablo Ozuna is sorely missed for everything he brought to the team, 1.2 fucking wins over 3 seasons. What an important puzzle piece. If the puzzle is "why were the White Sox winning so much", surely this guy was the answer.
Okay, seriously, maybe those stats don't exactly include Ozuna's energy. There are several things that have suffered because Pablo is injured. Take these for example.
The bullpen ERA, feeling deflated from a lack of Ozuna's energy, has exploded to nearly 6.50
Jermaine Dye, without someone to inspire him by running really hard, has a .245 EqA
Jose Contreras is making a case for "worst pitcher in baseball". It's not because he's lost the ability to be a power pitcher, it's because he doesn't have Ozuna for emotional support.
But seriously, the absolute worst part of that quote, is that there is a way better player out for the year. I forgot his name.....Joe ThirdBaseman or something, who was worth 6.4 WARP1 in 2006.
Pablo Ozuna, you will be sorely missed. Your 2008 return will no doubt propel the White Sox to another 90-win season.
At least that's what Hawk Harrelson likes to call him. However, Mariotti fired back in this new article by calling him Foghorn Leghorn. Kudos to you Jay, I got a good laugh out of that.
Unfortunately, it's the exact same article that you wrote the day before. Remember this one?
I think I've finally figured out the formula for a Jay Mariotti article on the White Sox. It goes something like this.
something something sinking ship something something Blizzard of Oz something something potty-mouth something blame the media? something something embarrasing something no dignity something spewing profanity something something World Series opportunity window closing.
Don't bother writing about how bad Pablo Ozuna is, or how badly Paul Konerko has performed, or why the setup guys on the White Sox have just decided to implode lately (read: don't bother being an analyst). Just go on stirring up problems and controversy that prevent you from ever having to do any real work.
Anyone else besides me think it's funny that on msnbc.com's sports page there is a tab for "Baseball" and a separate tab for "Barry Bonds"?
No? Well I'm easily amused.....
