Saturday, August 25, 2007

It's that time of year again...

The air is starting to get cooler, days are getting shorter, school is starting up again, coeds are starting to aimlessly wander back home from frat houses at 1pm, and you all know what that means: no, I'm not talking about College Football starting up again. I'm talking about the greatest unintentional comedy every single Saturday. YES YES YES OH MY GOD YES! Lou Holtz is back on the TV. The man is a comic genius. It's like seeing your senile grandpa pulled out of the nursing home once a week, dressed up in a suit and put in front of a camera in order to babble the most incomprehensible, rambling nonsense possible. The last 2 seasons were goldmines of high hilarity from Holtz, be it his rant against text messaging recruiting, his inability to understand why Gary Barnett was in trouble at Colorado, or telling viewers that the reason Penn State went 11-1 in 2005 is because Joe Paterno coached old school, hard nose football.

This week he has started off the season fabulously.

1. Adamantly predicted Notre Dame to win at least 10, if not 11, games this season.
2. Repeatedly referred to Missouri coaches and players as he talked about his surprise team, Kansas
3. Picked Chad Henne as his preseason Heisman winner

Now let's play a game: if you had predict one media personality to become exactly like Holtz (pants shitting and all) in the next 30 years, who would you pick? My guess is College GameDay host Kirk Herbstreit, who had this gem this week:

"One thing you are well aware of.. the last 5 years: 11 or more wins for Pete Carrol (at USC). You know what that tells you? They are able to avoid Complacency. And that's the challenge this year. Let me make myself perfectly clear: Who's the team that will knock off USC this year: NOBODY. USC will be scared a handful of times, but the resiliency and the guts of this football team will be tested, and each time they will find a way to get it done. In my mind, I'm not saying they're not gonna have some close calls, just like they did two years ago with Matt Lienart and Reggie Bush. but they will find a way to win in some hostile environments."


And after they win the national championship, they will have the valour and honor to accept their victories with good sportsmanship, taught to them by their intrepid coach, Pete Carrol. And then they will drink and party with authority, tear through the coed population of USC with fervor, and pass Communications 101 with resiliency.

If only my CU Buffaloes had half the guts and killer instincts of USC, we wouldn't go 2-10 again.

1 comment:

Chris W said...

usc seems to lose a game every single fucking year at least, usually to teams they have no business losing to