Sunday, August 12, 2007

a nominee for "most annoying fan behavior in all of sports"

i've come to a conclusion: lots of golf fans are fucking stupid. i was just watching the PGA championship, and a split second after tiger woods hit his drive on 17, while everyone else was still being quiet, some dickbag in the gallery shouted "STANFORRRRRD!" stop and consider that for a second. what the hell does that mean? why would you do that? can you imagine someone yelling out the alma mater of the guy shooting a free throw at an NBA game right after he released the ball? how ridiculous would that be?

on a more general level, just what exactly is going through the minds of fans at golf tournaments who shout "GET IN THE HOLE!!!" right after a player strikes a chip or putt? do they think that's awesome? do they think the player appreciates it? do they expect some kind of pat on the back from the player or from other fans should the ball actually get in the hole? do they want to be able to go home and tell their buddies, "hey, remember right after ernie els hit that 15 footer for birdie on the 6th yesterday? *smugly* yeah. that was me shouting something stupid during that silence there." going back to that guy who shouted "STANFORRRRD!"... was he hoping tiger woods would immediately turn around and say "who said that? i went to stanford! that is so cool that you shouted that! do you want to hang out play golf together sometime, sir?" this behavior confuses the shit out of me. i've never been to a golf tournament, and i should probably never go. after about the third time i heard this kind of thing happen (which, unless i was going out of my way to not stand near any people, would be at about 9:30 AM on thursday) i would immediately go over and get in the person who did it's face.


eriz said...

*larry starts typing*


"Make that extended metaphor work!"

Anonymous said...

Nooooo, god forbid a spectator watching a spectator sport attempt to get in to the sport and interact with the player, even in an odd way. I mean, REALLY, the NERVE of those people, to hoot and holler on the golf course like that. Heathens, all of them...HEATHENS.

Anonymous said...

hey larry b...get a life

larry b said...

both anonymouses- you guys are obviously the kinds of douchebags that do this kind of thing. so good for you, way to stick up for yourself.

anonymous #1- hoot and holler all you want. my complaint is about saying those specific things referenced in the post. you descibe it as and "odd" way. i would describe it as a "fucking annoying" way. seriously... "GET IN THE HOLE!!!" what? here's a little challenge for you- go to a baseball game (preferably one with a small crowd, like a minor league or high school game, so you can be heard by a bunch of people) and shout "GET OVER THE FENCE!" immediately after every batter hits a fly ball. see if people think that's annoying or not.

anonymous #2- i'm fine with my non-life, thanks. i'm currently in my parents' basement, eating a pop tart for dinner, and blogging away. it's all i've ever dreamed of and no one, you included, is going to goad me into wanting anything more.

Franklin said...

When Carlton Fisk ureged the ball over the fence lo those many Octobers ago, I'm sure he was not alone, and it was far from irritating.

I find the "In The Hole" gang annoying because they race to be first. It's the jarring breaking of the peace that gets me. I'm quite sure there is equally vehement demonstration at a NASCAR race, but you can't hear them.

When I was a kid, I used to go to Johnson City Cardinals games - the rookie league team of St. Louis. Sometimes there were 30 people in the stands, one of which was at every game, yelling "Swing!" throughout every opposition at bat. I wanted to strangle the guy. Put the same guy in a huge crowd and he's lost in the masses.

What kind of Pop Tart? I prefer blueberry myself.

Jack said...

This blog smacks of dumb sports media writing. Its your pet peeve. Tell your therapist. What do you expect from writing this article. The guy who yelled "Stanford" is going to read it and feel remorse? Everyone else will agree to hate the same things you do?


No one cares about your turn-offs and turn-ons unless you're a playboy model.

curt said...

maybe he is reminding the golfers what they need to do....i mean, tiger only got the ball in the hole 18 times when he shot a 63...that's like a .286 batting average, which is hardly what i would expect from the best player in the world

Franklin said...

Jack, your insight that, "[t]his blog smacks of dumb sports media writing," is staggering. Really? I never would have guessed.


You've disproved your own point by saying that "everyone else will agree." I also notice that this site is filled with reader comments that largely disagree with the blog posts. If the irony weren't so delicious, it'd be merely pathetic.

larry b said...

franklin- the irony is indeed delicious, it tastes like the pop tart i ate for dinner last night. since we don't get paid to do this, however, i hold no standards for myself or my fellow writers whatsoever. made up facts? terrible analysis? unfunny jokes? who cares- only like 5 people read what we write anyways. well, maybe more like 8 people now that pearlman linked us. but who's counting? also, your carlton fisk example is a real winner for your case. i mean, since pretty much any baseball game anywhere any time is the 6th game of the world series (or whatever the fuck that game was... i'm not a red sox fan) then i think urging the ball over the fence is appropriate at all times. way to put me in my place with such a non-extreme example.

curt- that's a great point, but batting average is like the most overrated stat ever. i want to know tiger's OPS, VORP, WARP1, WARP3, and FRAA before i come to any conclusions about his round. good start though.

jack- for starters, people care about the opinions of all good looking women, not just playboy models. furthermore, this blog is my therapy. i'm saving $200 a week by writing on this thing and i love it. thanks for the NEWS FLASH though.

larry b said...

frankin- upon further review, you were referring to the irony of people mocking/hating our writing, not the irony of us not being very good writers. so i apologize for my needlessly mean comeback. you're alright with me. i don't apologize for mocking your fisk example though. commmmme onnnnnn.

also, have you ever seen the show arrested development? it has a fantastic side character named franklin.

Paul said...

I'm glad to see anybody at all starting an anti-"Get in the Hole!" crusade in whatever forum possible. Maybe it will spread from here. Frankly, it's one of those behaviors that's so lame it's actually embarrassing to watch, kind of like hearing the president of the United States say "nucular." The madness must stop.

Frank said...

No apology needed, larry. This is your house, I'm just a visitor. And I see your point about going Fisk on you. Let's try the invariant phenomenon of a marked increase in crowd volume for deep fly balls? I doubt they're all yelling for the hot dog guy. By the way, has anyone seen the hot dog guy? My seats are in the upper deck at Camden Yards, and he never seems to come up there any more.

Yes, it's lonely up there, except when the Yankees and Red Sox are in town.

And I do know of the franklin character. Gives me something to aspire to.

Thanks for re-reading my comment. Far from putting you in your place, I've been unconsciously looking for a blog like this since I suffered an ESPN overdose back in January. BTW, I'm enjoying my sports much more now that I restrict my consumption mainly to the events themselves. It's nice to have a someone else pulling out their hair on my behalf.