What Was the Point of This Article?

I literally have no idea why this article was written. I know there's ado and hoopla about dog fighting at Michael Vick's house and I know that he's been in trouble in the past, but then again everyone in the world knows this. Why the fuck do we need this article by this guy I've never heard of chronicling Vick's "tarnished reputation." Look at how useless this is:

Falcons QB Michael Vick who increasingly seems as problematic off the field as he is on it seems to have found trouble once again. This time Vick is dogged by allegations that he was part of a dog-fighting ring operating out of a home he owned in Virginia. (We must say "owned" because once the dog-fighting rumors surfaced, Vick quickly sold the house for less than half of its assessed value. OK, so he's no Donald Trump.)

Already I'm pissed off. This is starting off like one of those Skip Bayless "let me tell you something I find outrageous" articles, pinpointing some exact transgression the author finds outrageous. Except in this case, the outrageous thing is something everyone already knows about and that happened weeks ago. And this dude's going to detail the events as if someone reading through si.com doesn't already know that Vick's in some shit for training dogs. I also want to point out just how lame this parenthetical section is. We're criticizing Vick for lacking real estate savvy now? Seriously? And a Donald Trump joke? What is this 1986?

In just the last two years, Vick has made a run at Pacman Jones' off-field headline making supremacy by: being accused of giving a woman genital herpes and using the evocative alias "Ron Mexico" to receive his herpes medication in secret; flipping a double dirty bird to the home Atlanta fans after a Falcons loss; allegedly trying to pass through airport security while carrying a water bottle containing what the Miami police described as "a small amount of dark particulate and a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana"; missing a chance to speak on Capitol Hill regarding after-school programs; and most recently, being suspected of having involvement in a dog-fighting ring at a home he owns in Virginia.

Is there anyone on earth who isn't already aware of all these missteps by Vick? Is there anyone on earth who when they hear Vick's name doesn't immediate think one of the following two things:

--Underachieving Quarterback

--V.D. Superhero

If you left out "underachieving quarterback," you wouldn't lose many people, either.
We get it. We got it before you started writing the article. Vick has problems. Vick is a colossal fuckup. Why don't you write a "Bill Clinton likes oral sex" article while you're at it? Or a "Rae Caruth is not a good role model" one?

And it doesn't stop. It's reached the point now where the daily Falcons practice notes in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution are a mix of items about offensive adjustments, rookies adapting the NFL and former teammates allegedly saying that Vick is totally into dog fighting.

like, fer sure?

Vick is the highest-paid player in the NFL and perhaps the most exciting, too. But for everyone who hoped Vick would be the first guy in franchise history to lead the Falcons to back-to-back winning seasons, he's simply looked like a guy who might not be able to throw the ball accurately enough to win more NFL games than he loses.

snooze. Welcome to last week. What's next? "Sometimes Vick looks like he's ready to take the next step, sometimes he doesn't"?

Then there's those of us who saw in Vick a player we thought we could throw our complete emotional support behind. For many of us, Vick was our favorite NFL player, the guy we suspected had the ability to change the way the quarterback position would be played going forward.

oh CHRIST! He done did it! And now the article starts to go off on a strange, strange 500 word tangent

It's probably not the best idea to idolize someone you'll never really get to know. I got lucky growing up. Even though I was living in Atlanta, somehow Phoenix Suns point guard Kevin Johnson caught my eye, and I spent the next few years trying to indulge in all things KJ. I purchased KJ jerseys and t-shirts via mail order, even managed to get a No. 7 practice jersey for my high school basketball team. KJ was never the most outspoken or flashy player in the NBA, but he was a solid, terrific point guard. (When he dunked all over Hakeem Olajuwon, I nearly jumped through my roof.)

I know it's dangerous to read too much into these kind of things, but stuff like "I got lucky," and "Kevin Johnson caught my eye" at BEST just sounds really fucking stupid. This guy is seriously about to talk about how because Kevin Johnson was never particularly good but was quote/unquote classy, he was, like, the best dude EVER. I think the "lunchpail" alert level is at about orange right now. I wonder how this guy feels about Eckstein.

The guy goes on and on about KJ in an article that is ostensibly about Vick...my gut instinct is to clip it since it's just fawning, but I think I'm going to let it stand for itself:

KJ never won a title, was never an MVP, but most importantly, he never let me down. He certainly had no idea there was a kid in Atlanta studying his every move, but he comported himself as though he knew there was someone who would be crushed if he was implicated in a dog-fighting ring or was caught carrying a bottle capable of concealing a dark particulate.

Charles Barkley came out and directly warned the world that he was not a role model, but he was and he is, whether he likes it or not. The same goes for Vick. Barkley's point was that kids should look up to people they actually have access to for guidance and advice, like teachers or parents. While there are a lot of kids who don't have that luxury, I was raised in a two-parent home with parents who were always there for me. But I still looked up to KJ.

The thing is -- and this is a lesson we only learn through experience -- the let down is a part of the deal that we have to accept. When we invest our hopes in somebody we've never met, we're opening ourselves to the good as well as the bad. We just hope there ends up being more good than bad.

whew. That's a mouthful! Of Kevin Johnson!

When the Falcons drafted Vick, I didn't have much choice but to buy in completely. As soon as Vick slipped on that Falcons cap and shook hands with Paul Tagliabue, he became the most athletically gifted player the Falcons have ever had. OK, so he still hasn't become the quarterback we'd hoped he become, but he's provided some mind-bending moments that Falcons fans will never forget. Unfortunately, a lot of those moments have occurred off the field.

Vick is not a character guy. We get it. We done GOT it months before this article was a gleam in Kevin Johnson's eye (since, of course, I'm assuming this guy, pasty-white though he may be, is Kevin Johnson's son)

New NFL commissioner Roger Goodell seems to be like a new principal intent on establishing himself as a stern disciplinarian before his students take advantage of him. As if in response before the iron hand of the NFL comes down on him, Vick has spent the off-season promising us that he's going to take a hard look at his life (at the urging of Falcons owner Arthur Blank) and that things will be different from here on. "Just don't plan on talking about me anymore unless it's about football," Vick said last week.

A principal? It's been a while since I've been in high school, but shouldn't the analogy be "new teacher"? I don't remember too many kids in my class trying to "put one by the old principal." Here's the problem I have with this article: there are a lot of noteworthy things to discuss about Vick. For instance, something that's not been said is how this discipline policy relates to league stars. It's a general behavior policy, and Pacman has felt the brunt of it despite no actual convictions. Vick brought an illegal concealing device to an airport, presumably filled with marijuana, he allowed fighting dogs to be trained on his property, he flipped off HIS HOME CROWD, and he hilariously but very publicly tried to conceal the fact that his cock breaks out in sores every now and then.

Granted, none of this is "making it rain," but there's very little speculation on whether Vick will be suspended or should be suspended and how that relates to him being one of the biggest stars in the game. That would make this article useful. That's something worth discussing. The fact that Vick has been in trouble is a completely worthless subject for an editorial. Of course the Rick Reilly's and Skip Bayless's of the world are going to lap it up. "Character is important!" "Why can't more people be like LDT?" "These crumbums make too much money to be acting like criminals" (apologies to the onion).

So why was this article written? To grandstand? To impose the author's morals on an uninterested audience? As an excuse to compose a sweet elegy to the classy, grindy, fundamentally-sound playing career of KJ and other so-called "good-guys"? Only the author knows, although I would suggest to the editors of SI.com (who clearly read this site) that this might be a question worth asking before publishing this smear pap.

And at the risk of going off on a tangent, can we just stop with the moral grandstanding and excessive praise of those who haven't yet got in trouble? I remember Kobe was always supposed to be a decent guy...up until the whole rape accusation. Now he's, at the very least, a guy who cheats on his wife. I noticed Schilling, in typical Schilling douchebag fashion, made sure to bring up this point in a rip on Bonds, accusing him not only at cheating at "the game" but also cheating on his wife.

Let's ignore the obvious joke about Schilling cheating at bleeding, and move on to think about the likely fact that most of Schilling's teammates have cheated on their wives and significant others. They're pro baseball players after all. Essentially Schilling called out a good pct. of his teammates in trying to make sure everyone knows he's a Christian. If there were a letter of the alphabet for rolling one's eyes, this is where I'd type it.

Likewise, Skip Bayless probably beats his kid or some shit, and I know Jay Mariotti is on some sort of hard drug to be coming up with some of the far-fetched poop he slings... ladies and gentlemen there IS no moral highground. Tangent over. Let's let the gentleman finish up on ripping Vick:

I just wonder if it's too late. Vick could give all his money to the poor, win five straight Super Bowls and stumble across a cure for cancer by haphazardly mixing flavors of Gatorade, but he'll always be known as Ron Mexico. I suppose it's important to remember that Vick hasn't actually been found guilty in any of these incidents. As a Falcons fan, I hope none of this stuff shakes out, yet as a realist, if you subscribe to the "where there's smoke there's fire" theory, Vick's created a veritable raging inferno around him.

We've seen him escape from plenty of improbable situations before. But if he keeps this up, he's eventually going to find an impasse from which even his fleet feet can't carry him far, far away.

I suppose he subscribes to the Terrell Owens theory on Jeff Garcia too. This would have been a great point to bring up the fact that Pacman Jones, suspended for an entire season, has never been found guilty as of this article's press. Instead we get this, which I really hope someone can explain, because frankly I am lost:

Game Of The Week

While Gold Miner has now become one of the great games in the history of the Internets, Reel Gold seems to be a pretty intriguing variant.

on a final note, I sincerely doubt that if Vick won five straight Super Bowls and gave all his money to the poor and found a cure for cancer, he would be primarily known for having herpes. I know that isn't the point the author's trying to make, but can we please fucking quit the stupid hyperbole style of writing for at least a month or so? Christ.