FINALLY, Heyman Said Something Wrong Again

Whew. My absence has been due to a lack of ability to find material, not because I haven't been looking. Anywho.....it's time for "Hey, man!"

MESA, Ariz. -- If Chicago's beloved North Side team can't make the playoffs this year, I am going to start believing in the black cat, the Billy Goat, Bartman and all the rest. The Cubs are simply too talented and too deep not to make it back to October.

Isn't it just crazy that all of those things start with 'b'?

But seriously, Heyman. I agree that they're favorites. They aren't locks. Go on.

Perhaps no team has a clearer path to the playoffs than the defending NL central champions.

Angels, Heyman, Angels. Just because the Mariners got Bedard doesn't mean they'll be any good. They were outscored last year, and their lucky record confused the Mariners into thinking they were built to win. There isn't a team in the AL West that is even threatening. The Brewers, on the other hand, are right on the Cubs' heels, with a young and improving lineup and a revamped bullpen.

They already have a lot of great things going for them, not the least of which is a division in which the only serious threat may be the Milwaukee Brewers, an organization with even less World Series familiarity than the Cubs.

Ooooh....right.....sorry Milwaukee. Guess the talent level of your team has been overshadowed by the fact that the prior teams in the history of your franchise (most of which contained no current Brewers players, mind you) have not made the World Series. Not only can you not win the division as a result....you can't even be considered a threat either.

Chicago's rotation is sound, led by tough guy Carlos Zambrano, who, after the A's used a DH the other day, batted because no one wanted to tell him he couldn't (besides, he can hit).

"Chicago's rotation is sound, led by tough guy Carlos Zambrano, who, (insert something that has nothing to do with why Zambrano is good)." "Tough guy" doesn't cut it. And Zam's strikeout rate slipped a good deal last year, which is concerning.

Also, saying the Cubs' rotation is "sound" is a great (read: obvious) way to avoid talking about the problems it has when you're trying to argue the team is very good. There's every reason to think Rich Hill will have a solid year, as should Lilly, despite some likely regression. When you're talking about contenders, however, a 1-2-3 of Zam, Lilly, and Hill is well below average. Dempster and Lieber are at best, question marks. Plus, there's always the chance that Jason Marquis will complain his way into the rotation, which should be enough to gag any Cubs fan who knows his track record.

The bullpen, unlike in recent years, has at least two viable closer options -- Carlos Marmol has been light's out this spring, and Kerry Wood hit 98 recently. And the lineup looks awfully powerful, no matter how manager Lou Piniella pencils them in (more on that later).

Kerry Wood and Carlos Marmol combined career saves: 1

Yes, either one MIGHT be good in the role, but come on, you can't list this as a reason that the Cubs are superior to other teams. This isn't better than coming into the season with an established closer, as the majority of the teams do (Todd Joneses and Joe Borowskis aside).

Despite the Cubs' history, which includes 99 straight seasons without a World Series championship, star first baseman Derrek Lee agreed that they should be prohibitive favorites in the NL Central.

Intriguing, the Cubs are able to be favorites to win the division DESPITE the fact that the 1941, 1982, and 1916 Cubs did not happen to win the World Series! Truly remarkable!

When are writers going to realize that the losing legacy of the Cubs has absolutely no significant effect on the players on the field?