Monday, March 3, 2008

How Long Until Dusty Baker Benches Adam Dunn For You-Know-Whatting Up The You-Know-Whatpaths

I promise this post is not being made just to antagonize local Reds fan Dan-Bob. But after hearing what I just heard, I couldn't not write about it. Rob Dibble (always known to be a real Ivy Leaguer, of course) on XM's "The Show", hyping up the alleged depth of the NL Central by listing a reason every team in it has a chance to be good:

Dusty Baker is now in Cincinnati- and we all know what he can do.

Ummmm... what can he do? Not understand how teams in baseball maximize their chances of scoring runs? Ruin young pitching staffs? Put his son in harm's way? Don't get me wrong, as shitty as that division is, the Reds could easily make a run at its crown. But let's just be clear that if that happens Dusty had little or nothing to do with it.

Fun fact of the day- as much as he loves unclogging the basepaths as a manager, Dusty only had 27 sacrifice bunts and 137 steals in his 19 year playing career. Discuss amongst yourselves.

15 comments:

Archie Micklewhite said...

It might actually be interesting to compile a team full of guys who as announcers hate statistics but were themselves brilliant players from a sabermetric point of view. I know Joe Morgan is the best possible example of this, but I wonder if similar arguments could be made about Dusty or even Tim McCarver. I know McCarver posted a 10.1 WARP-3 in 1967 while notching only 69 RsBI and hitting only .295, so maybe there's something there.

Also, if I may switch into "real red-blooded American sports fan (I hate communism!)" mode, it makes me so glad to know that Dusty is now destroying the future of somebody else's NL Central team. Then I remember who is managing the Cubs and I weep a little. But really I just want all managers to be a clone of Manny Acta.

Anonymous said...

"He does everything easy, kind of slow-moving but at a high rate of speed.” DB

Chris W said...

archie:

cuck the fubs

Tonus said...

There may not be any sadder commentary on the state of sports journalism than Rob Dibble explaining what Dusty Baker "brings" to the Reds.

Jim said...

As a long time Giants fan, I know what Dusty can do.....

..........
..........

Well, he gets guys to play hard for him, the players really like him. Strategically he is a mess, with pitching staffs, pinch hitters- just the worst. But the players and media will love him. And he'll love the media until they question a move and then he takes it a little too personally.

Bengoodfella said...

I agree with Tonus. There is nothing sadder than Rob Dibble explaining anything about what Dusty Baker brings to the Reds.

I am not a fan of any team he has ever coached but I have seen too many broken hearted Cubs and Giants fans to not believe he is some sort of evil. By May he will be bringing in Francisco Cordero for a three inning save and having Homer Bailey start the first half of a double header and in long relief in the second.

dan-bob said...

bengoodfella:

:'(

Anonymous said...

A list of every time Dusty Baker has uttered the phrase "clogging up the basepaths" should be compiled. Every time I see this quote it brings a smile to my face.

Anonymous said...

it was his son, not his grandson that he put in harms way. you're getting sloppy larry b

Bengoodfella said...

How old is Dusty? 70? 58? Should I do research on this before making a joke? Nah...

I can see how Larry B got confused since Dusty has an AARP card and the kid was 7. Since that was his son, it looks like Dusty doesn't like his women to "clog his basepaths either," no matter how old he is. (Ba-da-bum!) Do you think Dusty makes his son ride his big wheel in the driveway for 45 extra minutes even after he is tired or forces him to eat the rest of his dinner even after he is full? (Ba-da-bum!)

"Eat your hamburger! Then drink some Drano! I don't want your stomach to get clogged. Food like carbohydrates that sit in your stomach just stop the whole digestive process. You don't need food that stays in your system. "

larry b said...

Tony- You've been getting progressively sloppier and sloppier since the first time you let Mariotti or Plaschke win ATH. (Or, if you want to get yourself off the hook, please tell me your producer determines who the day's winner is going to be in advance. It's what I've always suspected.) But point taken.

Jim said...

Around the Horn's "winners" are as a legit as Pro Wrestling's "winners"

larry b said...

Yeah, but I'd rather know that some producer chooses the winners rather than Tony himself. How can you justify doing anything to boost Mariotti's ego?

Archie Micklewhite said...

Larry, does it make it any better that sometimes Tony lets Woody Paige beat Jay every once in awhile, which has to be a million times more soul-crushing to Mariotti than whatever minor joy he might get out of winning? I mean, if you lost to Woody Paige in a battle of wits...there's no coming back from that, is there?

And it also bears noting Woody Paige has no ego, so no danger going the other way. Because, you know, he's insane. I mean like certifiably.

Archie Micklewhite said...

Jim, at least pro wrestlers have to train for years and be really good at what they do (well, except maybe Vince MacMahon's son) in order to win. Oh, and often they need a pretty decent amount of charisma to be allowed on TV.

Also, Dusty Baker is stupid. I thought I should at least try to stay relevant.