Tuesday, March 4, 2008

For Once, Dr. Z Entertains Me Without Being Flagrantly Dumb

Dr. Z is a lot of things. Crusty old crummudgeon. Possible asylum escapee. Poor writer. Idiot. But this is his day in the sun at FireJay, because he just wrote a very entertaining piece which not only claims that Brett Favre could've been a whole lot better but also calls out the media for constantly handling him with kid gloves. Now, I'm not a Favre/Packer hater. I acknowledge that he's great, and I really don't have anything horrible to say about him. The tone of what Dr. Z does here probably takes things a little too far; I mean, Favre has the all time win, TD and yardage titles in addition to a ring. It's a nearly peerless resume and should be treated as such. But I'm excited about this piece simply because it's such a breath of fresh air.

Who has guts to subtly shit all over a surefire hall of famer less than 12 hours after he retires? Who's going to implicitly call out John Madden and Peter King (along with others) for refusing to hold Favre to the same standards they use on every other QB in the league? Who's going to question whether or not he was the greatest QB in Packer history by referencing two guys no one's ever heard of from the 40s and 50s? Dr. Z, that's who. Hey, you don't land a lady like the Flaming Redhead unless you've got balls down to your shoes. There's a reason he looks so happy with himself in his CNNSI file photo. He says what he wants, when he wants, and that makes him a real man.

Remember the night in Oakland, when it was iffy whether he'd play, following his father's death? Four TD passes and 399 yards in the air was the legacy he left out there. But there were downers, too, and it only hurt Favre that the knights of the TV screen always were ready to make excuses for him.

His fourth quarter and overtime meltdown against the Giants last season, which put a sad end to a remarkably classy season? Never mind ... the redemption of the Giants' field-goal kicker was the angle. The goofy, looping interception that cost the Pack the Eagles' game in OT in the divisionals in 2004? Oh, let's put it on the defense for allowing McNabb his fourth-and-26 completion in regulation.

Always ready to make excuses, always braying about "what a good time he's having," that was the continual barrage from TV. Maybe a few frowns, a stern reprimand or two, might have toned down the wild maverick a little, but gosh, he sure is having fun out there. And that's what the game is all about, isn't it? Fun, boys acting like men and so forth.

Facial.

Also, I forgot to award a winner for last week's reader extra participation Friday. Thanks to everyone who submitted (Even you, Archie the Possible Cokehead. And yes there are still winners. Keep trying.), but I've got to hand this one to Matt for pointing out that:

Worst: Chess. Don't get me wrong, I like chess. But when Bobby Fisher died recently,players quoted in the flood of resulting articles kept citing all Fisher "had done for our sport." Seriously? Sitting at a table for days & taking hours to decide in which direction you want to move a tiny piece a total of about 3" qualifies as a sport? I think I burn more calories taking a dump than a chess player does in an entire match. Plus the title "Grandmaster" sounds suspiciously like "Grand Wizard," and that's just racist.

By A: almost never being on TV and B: not requiring any movement out of the participants (we're not counting moving your arms to move the pieces, fuck that), chess failed to meet two of my three stated criteria for being a "sport." So really, this submission shouldn't even count. So why am I giving it the title anyways? Fuck, man. Now that I think about it "Grandmaster" does sound a little bit racist. And wasn't Bobby Fisher a well-known anti-Semite? It's 2008, International Chess Governing Body Association Incorporated. I think it's time we moved past that kind of thing.

(Note: posts that point out what a fucking disaster Dr. Z is to resume shortly. This is a one time deal.)

32 comments:

Archie Micklewhite said...

Do I really come across as a cokehead? I would just like to make it clear that this is me writing 100% sober. Of course, I guess there's an argument that that's actually worse.

Also, I was going to do something with this Dr. Z article, but I defer to your superior (and more timely) blogging. Although I do think some of his stuff about Mike Holmgren in there is still really bizarre.

Chris W said...

Everyone should well know I'm a Bears fan (a fact I would rather not be so well known) but this quoted section is retarded.

Giants game: The Packers running game was nonexistent. They were going to win or lose on Favre's back. When you give a QB that ultimatum with no running game, you can't be upset when he forces a play on the last drive.

Eagles game: Yeah that interception was bad, but did the defense or did the defense NOT give up a 4th and 26? What's a bigger story: QB throws interception with game on the line or Defense allows offense to convert 4th and 26 with game on the line?

That's what I thought.

Chris W said...

from the article:

"The Packers' GM knew he was onto an all-time score when he worked the deals that brought Favre over from Atlanta. He was close."

Close? GMAB. Every team in football wishes they could find a Favre in a trade like Wolf made. 16 years without missing a start? Multiple MVP's? Multiple Super Bowl Appearances and one Super Bowl win? Good grief....


"Throw a pick? Well, let's go out and get seven back, then we're even, right?"

Yeah what an awful mentality. I'd rather see Rex Grossman's mentality: "Throw a pick? Let's obsess over it and feel lousy about ourselves and then go throw another pick." Or how about the Trent Dilfer mentality: "I won't throw any touchdowns, but at least I'll never throw a pick!!!"

Chris W said...

ps: I predicted this article ages ago, complete with references to Montana and the obligatory wine reference:

http://firejaymariotti.blogspot.com/search/label/Appreciating%20a%20Good%20Wine

Anonymous said...

The winning reader participation entry was from me, not Jeff. But since I ignored 67% of your criteria, we'll call it even.

I would appreciate it, though, if you have any suggestions for how I can highlight this prestigious award on my resume.

Jeff said...

Matt, play your cards right...and maybe you can get yourself a blog of your own.

Jim said...

Dr. Z is just awful, not like Bill Simmons still readable type awful, but Dr. Z's sentences at times don't even make sense, I'll have to take your word for it that he was much better this time around, because I doubt it.


Favre retired?!? why wasn't this on the news/sportscenter/online when it happened?

Bengoodfella said...

Someone on one of the comment boards yesterday mentioned they thought Simmons made up fan questions in his mailbag. I have thought that as well. Today he has a full mailbag up of questions that are supposed to be clever and funny...and he made them up.

At least Dr. Z does not make up his mailbag...maybe.

Jim said...

Simmons admitted it today, but he had to have done it before.

"Me and my friends were hanging around the dorm watching Peyton Manning choke another game, I think that should be installed into the levels of losing, when you already know your teams gonna lose cuz your QB ain't Tom Brady"

do people actually write in like that, no it's made up

Anonymous said...

I do think people write like that. They are the Simmons' fans- they write like him, they think like him, their "buddies" and them are always sitting around arguing if Tom Brady coached the 86 Lakers, would they have gone 82-0? And then they have to write in to the Sports Guy to tell him all about it and ask him what he thinks. There is no doubt in my mind that his letters are real, and really isn't that just even more pathetic?

And his letters column today was awful. Just pure shit. He was so unfunny and obvious it was sad. And what really annoyed me was that his favorite Mike Breen called game is when the Celtics came back from 27 down. NO SHIT!! A CELTICS GAME?? THAT THEY WON??

larry b said...

Chris- I knew you were going to post some comment(s) along the lines that you did. As usual, you are angry and partially wrong. Of course those interceptions weren't massively horrible gaffes on Favre's part that never should have happened. He was definitely in some tough spots. Still, the fact remains- if nearly any other quarterback threw those interceptions in the exact same situations, they would have been treated much differently by the media. I don't remember the response after the Eagles game 3 years ago. But after this year's NFC title game, the complete and total lack of attention paid to Favre's performance was downright ridiculous. I'm not saying he stinks. I'm not saying he's a choker. I'm just saying that I got tired of him getting a free pass on even being mentioned when he screwed up.

Bengoodfella said...

Somehow I always end up commenting on an article and getting a conversation around to Simmons. I really don't mean to. I have to confess, I did not even read his article today, but I am pretty sure it was shit. That is a safe bet.

Does anyone want to take bets on Brett Favre coming back this season to play? Not for the Packers though. He said he could only come back this year if he knew he would win the Super Bowl, so he does not think Green Bay can compete. His agent also said Green Bay did little to keep him around. I think Brett and Bus Cook are setting up the Packers for bad PR if/when he decides to come back. He is a God in Green Bay and they would not blame him if he did come back for another team, if the perception is that Green Bay ran him away. Just my thoughts...

Chris W said...

Larry--

Some players earn that pass.

Steve Young had earned it when he had a poor game vs. the Packers in the NFC Championship.

And, as much as I hate to say it, Tom Brady had earned it. I know your perception of the situation was that Brady didn't get it, but I would disagree with you on that. I would expect most regular season MVP's who had that bad a performance in a Super Bowl that they were favored by double digits in to get it a lot harder than Brady did, and he didn't. But frankly, he, like Favre, has earned it.

Chris W said...

And, I said this to you on G-Chat, but it needs to be said here as well:

Whether or not you were mildly annoyed by announcers being relatively uncritical about Favre, it doesn't change the fact that Dr. Z, who has a long-time...well grudge is the wrong word, but "distaste"...against Favre is using the man's retirement as a stump from which to harangue the man's career.

Which is, to me, a downright Mariotti-esque thing to do---use a guy's fucking retirement to platform his vendettas.

Fucking ridiculous

Chris W said...

ps: At least he didn't mention the painkiller addiction as a strike against his character :rolleyes:

"can you believe the media supported him when he was addicted to painkillers? What gladhandlers!!! Johnny Unitas (who I taught how to throw a spiral...just kidding I'm not THAT old) never needed painkillers.

larry b said...

Apologies to you, Matt. I already mailed Jeff the stale Red Rope that functioned as this week's prize. He'll have to ship it back to me so I can forward it to you.

Archie Micklewhite said...

I wonder...is Favre just completely radioactive as far as topics go? I've read a ton of Favre articles over the last couple of days adopting all manner of different viewpoints, and all of them seemed in some way really shitty. The hero worship ones are self-explanatory. Dr. Z definitely mixed in two scoops of asshole to go along with his anti-Favre article. And the middle-of-the-road ones just seem so ridiculously wishy-washy, clearly realizing they should criticize Favre for something but not having the slightest idea where to start. So maybe the only thing one can say is he played for a really long time and played really well for most of that time. Just cut the media out of it entirely.

I dunno...this whole thing just confuses me no end. Maybe if I do some coke it'll get clearer. Hey, it always worked back in the eighties...

Bengoodfella said...

I thought my boring ass attack against poker was going to win this week's prize Larry. I am sad. You will know the weekly competition has finally arrived when someone complains in another blog they should have won for the week.

What I find most interesting about Dr. Z's dislike for Favre is that his running mate at CNNSI, Peter King, has a massive man crush on Favre. They are polar opposites on the Favre Scale of Love. I laugh when I hear stories of King speaking to Deanna for no apparent reason and talking to Brett after the game about what happened and how he feels emotionally, physically and spiritually. I think Tom Brady is up next on the Peter King Tiger Beat QB Wall. That is my guess.

Chris W said...

Here are ironclad facts about Favre:

---He resurrected a franchise by starting every single game in 17 seasons, winning myriad MVPS, and breaking NFL records

---He threw a lot of interceptions, many of them costly.


:shrug:

In conclusion, Larry was annoyed by the television announcers during the NFC championship game, and therefore he applauds an atrocious, classless article simply because he sees it as a corrective to the problem of the television announcers for the NFC championship game

Archie Micklewhite said...

"You will know the weekly competition has finally arrived when someone complains in another blog they should have won for the week."

I came dangerously close to doing just that, friend Bengoodfella. If Favre hadn't retired, I actually think I would have spent all of my Tuesday complaining Larry hadn't announced the winner yet.

Now where the hell did I put my life? It was just here a moment ago...

Bengoodfella said...

Sadly, my most vivid memory of Favre is he and Strahan breaking the sack record together. I don't know why I remember that.

It seems like he did a lot of good and bad in his career, which is why he is such a polarizing figure. In my mind, his fans have a lot in common with Dallas Cowboys fans. Living a lot on reputation and nostalgia. What I mean is the Cowboys have not won a playoff game in 12 years. Favre has not made it to the Super Bowl in 11 years. Events seem bigger to journalists and fans alike when they are involved...except in my mind for some reason. In my mind the presence of Favre in a game never really stepped up the drama or made me care more. Journalists would seem to make the game a bigger deal or try to add more drama to it. I guess simply because of his history and it is obvious the sports media likes it when he does well, just like the media likes it when the Cowboys do well. I hope this made sense.

Anonymous said...

I'm firmly in the chris w. camp on this one. It's not that Favre is beyond reproach. Certainly he's had some stinker performances and has been undisciplined at times. But the guy played his ass off for 17 years. He never quit. He started every game. He left it all on the field. And he respected the game. He didn't sulk after losses and didn't taunt after wins. I think it is beyond classless that on the day this icon retires, Dr. Z not only can't find anything positive to reflect on, but instead chooses to focus on his shortcomings. What a prick.

larry b said...

Ben, sorry about the "snub." It's almost Friday again though. Redemption is just around the corner.

Fuck, I sound like I'm writing promos for FOX's MLB crew. Can't you just hear Joe Buck voicing that over a highlight from last year's baseball playoffs before a Yankees/Indians game this summer?

Thanks to anonymous for the late submission, by the way. Horse racing definitely infuriates me, and probably does count as a sport by my definition.

Also, my ongoing discussions with Chris W about this article have me feeling the need to clarify something- Dr. Z is definitely a monumental asshole for writing this. No doubt about it. It's unnecessarily mean spirited and really hits below the belt (minus the painkiller omission). I still, however, think it's funny and refreshing overall.

Anonymous said...

Chris W is a douche.

Bengoodfella said...

My head is still spinning from all the exciting sports cliches "Anonymous" used. I would also like to add Favre took it one game at a time, played the game it was supposed to be played and always gave it 110%. He did respect the game. I remember after Matt Hasselbeck lost the Super Bowl he came out the next year and started throwing a frisbee to his receivers and stomped off the field calling football, "a girly sport." He did not play the game it was supposed to be played NOR respected football.

Larry, this week is my championship week!

Chris W said...

:-o

ANONYMOUS! SHOW YOURSELF!

Tonus said...

Also, Brett Favre is short, white, gritty, and always gets dirt on his uniform!

Bengoodfella said...

How dare you call Brett Favre short! He stands tall in the pantheon of QB's!

I do think Dr. Z was a jerk for writing the article. I just found it interesting after losing the NFC Championship he felt as if the team did not have a chance to get back there. I found that to be a slap in the face of his ex-teammates honestly. Imagine if Donovan McNabb or Matt Hasselbeck retired because he said he wanted to make the Super Bowl and did not think he had a chance the next year. I know Favre is older and had thought about retirement, but that part of his reasoning seemed a little rude to a team that was one missed FG away from the Super Bowl. Maybe it is just me.

Unknown said...

Hey, hands off the attack on chess! The argument made was not whether or not chess was a sport, it was whether it was the worst sport. Given that it is a sport, I believe it is excellent one. There are few sports as emotionally and mentally intense as chess, especially the latter. Yeah, you won't lose weight playing chess, but you'll get more than your fill of intense competition.

Unknown said...

Favre just announced that he's going to come back to pitch for the Astros this season.

Jim said...

Richard Dansky said...
Favre just announced that he's going to come back to pitch for the Astros this season.

BUT, not until May and that's if The Astros are within 5 games of first place.

Unknown said...

Honestly, Z's not saying anything that half the sportswriters in the universe weren't saying the last couple of seasons - "He's forcing too many interceptions!" "He's trying to win games all by himself!" "He's slamming his teammates!" "He needs to retire!". It's just now, in the golden glow of the man-love heavy tributes Favre's getting, it seems a bit churlish. Timing, as they say, is all.

Favre was a great quarterback. He was also a spotlight queen - witness the annual "Will I/Won't I?" drama, a bit of a jerk to some of his teammates, and a guy who had a bad habit of going cowboy and throwing bad picks once his arm stopped being able to cash the checks his decision-making was writing. I enjoyed watching him play, but I got tired of the circus around his annual bashing of his teammates not being good enough, the "retirement" drama, and the refusal of a lot of announcers to think he was anything other than "gritty" and "courageous" when he was hitting DBs in the numbers with the ball.

This last year was a great swan song; too bad it had to end on such a lame duck. And for those who say that he had to win the game by himself and the Pack had no running game against the Giants, well, in the end, isn't that what the great ones are supposed to do?