Monday, July 23, 2007

My Hero

Tim Donaghy is my hero.

His actions led to a weekend in sports journalism totally free of hyperbole, ridiculous overreactions, and baseless accusations. Oh wai...

Seriously though, if anybody who reads this blog was out camping or fishing or doing some other gay outdoor shit this weekend, and you're now just booting up your computer for the first time; don't. Throw your computer out of the window. Don't turn on ESPN, don't read the sports section, and for the love of god don't boot up unless you want to rip your eyeballs out of their sockets to ease your suffering. This is making me sick. It's like after 9/11 when all the congressmen were outside the capitol holding hands and singing "America the Beautiful," and Bill O'Reiley was screaming for the heads of all arabs, and we had to hear about how every single person who melted/got crushed/died of smoke inhalation was a "hero"

Let's say sportswriters are like Star Trek fans. This NBA "crisis" is like Halle Berry, buck naked, wearing Klingon makeup, in the middle of a Trek convention. These guys are so ramped up for any action they can pounce upon. It's a shitty metaphor, but since we're talking about sportswriters here, awkward, poorly thought out metaphors seem to be right in place.

Hours after all of this stuff came to light, 3 different SI columnists wrote basically the same exact article. Like one column about:

(a) outrage over such a betrayal of trust
(b) this is really gonna hurt the NBA
(c) well we all knew that NBA reffing has been questionable for years

wasn't enough.

The only thing I got out of this situation is:

1. Sportswriters are huge, unoriginal pussies


2. Tim Donaghy is a badass

Peter and Lisa Mansueto claimed that Donaghy vandalized their property and stalked them, even to the point of following Mrs. Mansueto around Radley Run Country Club, where Donaghy and the Mansuetos were members. After an internal investigation, Donaghy was suspended from Radley Run for the summer and early fall of 2004. The suit also alleged that Donaghy set fire to the Mansuetos' tractor and crashed their golf cart into a ravine.


larry b said...

nice star trek analogy.......... NERD

eriz said...

oh fuck did i confuse analogy and metaphor again?

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Chris W said...