Chronicling the Possible Collapse: The Nature of the Cubs' Fan Base

Let's talk about sports and the media.

The Chicago Tribune - a subsidiary of the Tribune Company that owns the Chicago Cubs - keeps up a steady stream of coverage to keep the Cubs' legions of fans sated with information. Since the Cubs' latest antics includes losing eight of their last nine, it's certainly the job of the Tribune's reporters to bring the grim news to the once-happy fans.

What's awesome/hilarious/terrible [depending on who you are] - is the manner in which they do it. Now, the Cubs, in case you didn't know, have a history of inept collapses. It's true - lots of teams have blown leads. The 1951 Dodgers, 1993 Giants and 2007 Mets are legendary for blowing leads. Here's an interesting article that looks at the statistical numbers - suggesting, actually, that the 1995 Angels were the biggest "chokers". Over the course of a hundred years of baseball, for every comeback team, there's a comeback victim.

But the best part about the Cubs' possible collapse, from the perspective of a non-Cubs fan, is watching the sharks swim around the damaged ship. They're circling - noting every little piece of evidence - that might bring down the ship. Until August 29, that ship had sailed quite pleasantly - running up to the tune of 85-50 and a .629 winning pct. But the recent spread of losses - which could easily be attributed by any sane fan to a small sampling of bad luck to an otherwise good team - has sent their writers into a frenzy.

Here are five recent media reports focusing on the Cubs' performance recently. Though some of them do contain real, thoughtful analysis of the Cubs' slide, a lot of them are full of some really awful claims.

Sample #1: Steve Rosenbloom's Tribune blog from Tuesday 9/9

And if it isn’t the specter of ’69 and the Cubs actually make the postseason,

Here's why I call hysteria on all this: the Cubs still have a 98.91% chance of making the playoffs according to PECOTA's projections. Wondering if "the Cubs actually make it" is completely nuts, Steve.

then Cubs fans rip open the scabs of ‘84 and ‘03

Jeez. That's some nasty prose.

and maybe even last year when manager Lou Piniella got all cute and yanked his best pitcher to keep him fresh for a game that still hasn’t been played.

LOLOL I GET IT! THE CUBS STILL HAVEN'T MADE LAST YEAR'S PLAYOFFS! I HAVE A ROCK IN MY SHOE! I AM DOING SUCH A SHIT JOB HERE!

That’s the way Cubs fans work, and wouldn’t that be a fascinating double-blind psychological study: Self-hating, death-wish Cubs fans -- nature or nurture?

Good question, Steve. I suggest you enlist Northwestern's graduate school of psychology to answer this question. Here, I'll save you the trouble: they are nurtured - by the sky-is-falling rhetoric of people like you.

Sample #2: Paul Sullivan, Tribune writer; "Scariest Thought for Cubs? 1969"

He carefully notes five similarities between the 1969 Cubs (who went 8-17 in September) and the 2008 Cubs. This includes such spurious comparisons as "ABSENT MANAGERS: Durocher skipped out to Camp Ojibwa and Pinella got lost!" - failing to note the clear distinction between a deliberately-absent manager going AWOL and a manager accidentally getting lost on a road trip. It's this kind of nonsense that - literally - spawns more of the Cub-curse nonsense. If I were a Cubs fan, I'd be insulted by this kind of spurious reasoning, but maybe that explains why I'm too smart to be a Cubs fan.

Sullivan closes with this doozy:
But if you see a black cat on the field at Shea Stadium when the Cubs make their final visit there in two weeks, prepare for a long winter

LOL BLACK CATS ARE EVIL AND BAD AND ONE WAS ON THE FIELD IN 1969.

Sample #3: Dave van Dyck's Postgame report on the Cubs' 4-3 loss to the Reds on Sunday

CINCINNATI - For those who believe in such things, the reason Ronny Cedeno went from hero to goat Sunday might have been that infamous billy goat's footprint changing the direction of a high-hopping ball near second base.

Wow. They let the goat walk on the field in between innings or something?

Even for those who don't believe the Cubs are eternally doomed, Sunday would give them pause.

If you don't believe in this sort of superstitious/divine/karmic nonsense, Sunday would give you enough pause enough to realize that the Cubs are still in first place by a large margin.

After losing seven of eight games, including Sunday's 4-3 stinker to the Reds, it is understandable that the mentality has evolved into a sky-is-falling September swoon.

No, it isn't. It's never understandable. It's only understandable because idiots like you keep writing this stuff - and the Cub fan base is either too comatose (from drinking) or too ignorant to call you on it.

Sample #4: Dave van Dyck's Article on the Cubs' Remaining Schedule

Most Cubs fans, at least those with a knowledge of history, are already climbing the figurative staircase to the top floor for the jump.

I like how he doesn't say "all" Cubs fans, because that probably wouldn't be true. I think, like Dave does, that most Cubs fans are idiots and would probably climb a figurative staircase and walk to the figurative ledge and consider figurative suicide even when their team is not-figuratively in a position where it is 98.9% likely that they will make the playoffs.

LOL GOOD THING ITS NOT A REAL STAIRCASE MAN THAT WOULD BE BAD

Losses in seven of eight games? A manager so upset he can't talk? Two pitchers hurting, an offense sputtering, the Cardinals waiting?

The Cardinals have an elimination number of eleven. And it's September 10. You are a hysterical moron.

Yes, yes, yes, but there's also a reality side to what's going on, which means the staircase can be used to get to the ground floor as well, although Cubs fans rarely realize it.

Criticizing your own fans in your column for a disease-ridden hysteria that you help create? Awesome! Nice work, Dave!

Dave also mentions some useful points - such as the Cubs' most-difficult-remaining schedule and the fragile arms and brains of Cubs pitchers. He presents a series of "panic" and "not-panic" scenarios like a "point" and "counterpoint" argument - with each ludicrous "panic" argument balanced by a reasonable "don't panic" argument. It's like Dave's inner self, fighting his intuition's desire to weep with his reason's cool logic.

Sample #5: 'Federal Agent Arrested At Reds Game' - WCPO-TV, Cincinnati

According to court records, when a concession employee working the View Level at Great American Ball Park refused to serve alcohol to 26-year-old Rafael Rosario, the Cubs fan asked two more times.

When Cincinnati Police asked to see Rosario’s I.D., he tensed up and claimed he was a federal agent and the officer had no right to see his I.D.

Records show Rosario is employed by the Transportation Safety Administration at O’Hare Airport in Chicago.

Police say he gave them an Illinois state drivers license, not a federal I.D. Police note Rosario, who was wearing a red Cubs shirt and blue Cubs hat, refused to cooperate with officers and had blood shot eyes and smelled of alcohol.

This has nothing to do with sports journalism. I just think it's hilarious.

I have no problem with using a really small sample size (read: one drunk Cubs fan) to generalize to the entire population of Cubs fans (millions of people, including a large portion of my family and friends) and call them a legion of drunken ignoramuses.

Because that's probably the only group of people that would tolerate this kind of writing.