Reader Extra Participation Friday: Impending Recession May Hurt Economy
Charley Rosen writes about the NBA for Foxsports.com. He's usually pretty informative and entertaining. I often find myself enjoying his work. His analysis of the recent Miami-Phoenix trade, however, is titled in a fashion that should come off as insulting to anyone who knows how basketball is played and who this "Shaquille O'Neal" fellow is.
Shaq will force Suns to alter run-and-gun style
Really? You think? Subtracting Shawn Marion, and replacing him with a 450 pound center in his mid 30s who runs like he's wearing ski boots, is going to hurt their fast break? Pssssh. Now I've heard everything. Next, you'll be trying to con me into thinking that:
-Adding Santana strengthens Mets' rotation
-Tomlinson disappointed he was unable to play in AFC Championship game
-Crosby's injury will cause problems for Penguins
-Yao enhances Rockets' ability to market themselves in China
-Dropping bid for Republican nomination hurts Romney's chances of becoming president
-Ledger's death mourned by females aged 13 to 60
-TV writers' strike prevents sitcoms from being filmed
-Lil' Wayne releases album focused on drugs, sex, occasional gun violence
-Bloggers live in basements, fear sun
And so on and so forth. Anyone else have any breaking news they'd like to share with the group? I don't think I took too many of the obvious ones.
This week's prize is an unopened Slim Jim. I've got too damn many of these things down here to eat by myself. They really make you thirsty, especially if you try to wash them down with Cheez-Wiz.
12 comments:
Bill Simmons still a dork
Britney Spears might have a slight problem
Pacman Jones enjoys the ladies
Personal computers make pornography more accessible, cheaper
Moon launch: rockets make it possible
Reading at night no longer a pain in ass: Edison
Cavemen discover wheel makes cart more useful, rides less bumpy
Vick's suspension may limit snaps next season.
Not Re-Signing Bonds helps Giants get younger.
Not Re-Signing Bonds decrease PED presence in Giant clubhouse.
Signing Eckstein increases Jays' grittiness, intensity.
Bill Belichik's arms may force him to alter sweatshirt sleeves
Despite losing Super Bowl, Jim Nantz still loves Tom Brady
Olsen Twins didn't age as well as we hoped
With less than 12 pints of blood in your body, you may feel the effects.
America agrees: chocolate and peanut butter = good mix
Blowing a .48 on a breathalyzer may give you alcohol poisoning (see Lary Sorensen)
I'm not very creative so I've lifted this headline from a brief story I addressed on my website:
"Getting in shape reduces death risk"
Giants win in Super Bowl hurts Patriots chances at perfect season.
Blast from the past: "Woman has consentual sex with 3 men in 24 hours, multimillionaire world famous basketball player not one of them."
Wait, someone actually tried that in a court of law. My bad.
Blogger sets up objective contest, admits there is no real concrete criteria for winning.
Jemele Hill makes claims based on no logical evidence, claims also change based on identity/race of subject.
Losing A Rod to free agency would have hurt chances at scoring more runs than last year.
Schilling's injured season ending shoulder surgery may prevent him from reaching appearances clause in contract.
Tom Brady and Gisele still refuse to use Patriots restroom facilities for fear of further Spygate cameras.
Patriots says Rooney Rule forces them to choose between resigning Randy Moss and Asante Samuel, saying, "we have to have one, but which one to choose?"
Entire Patriots team retires "because their heart is no longer in the game" on Tony Dungy's first day as head coach.
Babe Ruth, Dead
Being traded to Phoenix decreases chances Shaq will start for Miami.
Lying to a federal grand jury will increase your chances of being tried for perjury.
Writing garbage will increase the likelihood that people will hate you.
Good submissions from everyone. I might have to divide up that Slim Jim and award it to multiple people.
In other news, eating nothing but Slim Jims linked to heart disease
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