Sunday, August 24, 2008


Good evening folks! Larry B will be over shortly, and we'll be liveblogging Sunday Night Baseball. I know it's already the middle of the 3rd inning, but we've gotta start somewhere. Nothing just yet, so enjoy Jack M's post below while we supplement this intro with loads of stupidity that we'll surely hear over the next 6-6.5 innings. Get excited!

All these quotes are obviously as close as possible.

EDIT: Top of the 4th

Jon Miller: (on the Diamondbacks) Well they'd be 12 games behind the Cubs if they had that record in the Central Division

Joe Morgan: (laughing) Well maybe that record would be even better because they wouldn't have to play all the tough teams in the West so much!


You know what? Everyone reading this blog already knows exactly why this is such a stupid thing to say. But you know what? I don't fucking care! This is happening anyway.

NL West Winning Percentages, non-Diamondbacks:


AL Central Winning Percentages


Fine. Get out of the insanely tough NL West as soon as possible, DBacks. Must be tough seeing things like Kevin Correia and Cha Seung Baek more than other teams.

(I did not mistype. Kevin Correia and Cha Seung Baek are not pitchers. They are things.)

EDIT, still top of 4th

Jon Miller: It would be hard to imagine Jeff Kent not making the Hall of Fame.

Really Jon? That's your idea of a slam-dunk Hall of Famer?

He has the 2nd best projected career of all the 2nd basemen playing in this game.

EDIT: Bottom of the 5th

Emmy Award Winning Analysis:

Joe Morgan: Good piece of hitting by Utley, who is certainly a good hitter.

EDIT: Bottom of the 5th

(On Geovany Soto's dark-horse MVP candidacy)

Joe Morgan: People are going to toss his name around because he plays for the Cubs, who don't have any one outstanding player.....that's why they're such a good team

Reason Yankees suck: Too much Alex Rodriguez
Reason Indians suck: Too much Cliff Lee
Reason Cardinals suck: Too much Albert Pujols

I've gotta say, Joey. This is holding water.

So far this season, Evan Longoria has been the most valuable Ray. But the Rays need to be careful that he doesn't get toooooo much better than everyone else on that team....else they're gonna plummet in the standings.

EDIT: Bottom of the 6th

We're in and out of the bottom of the 6th inning, and Joe didn't say a word. Larry and I are positive that he's in the can.....

EDIT: Top of the 7th

(J.C. Romero tries a pretty deceptive pickoff throw to nab Juan Pierre at 1st base)

Joe Morgan: And that's useful, because it prevents the runner from getting a big lead

larry b: Most pickoff moves are there strictly to entertain the umpires and paid attendance. Romero's, however, is there to limit a baserunner's lead.

EDIT: Top of the 7th

J.C. Romero has just picked Juan Pierre off of 1st base. I guess we should just dismantle this blog.

EDIT: Top of the 7th

Jeff Kent just knocked in the go-ahead run. We're actually going to sell our URL to some carpet salesmen from Morocco.

EDIT: Bottom of the 7th

From the Dept. of "Really??"

Jon Miller: Both teams have an incentive to win this game.

Ya don't say, Gramps.

Joe Morgan: It kind of seems like we have a long way to go, but we do not. It kinda goes quickly here at the end

larry b: Everybody knows that September is a much shorter month than April.

pnoles: Shut up Larry. You're a mean, sarcastic meanie.

EDIT: Top of the 8th inning

Ryan Howard makes a routine catch in foul territory (he made a much better one in the 6th).

Joe Morgan: Not many first basemen have that kind of range.

Oh boy. A compliment to Ryan Howard's defense. This is playing with hot coals, Joe, so careful with how you proceed.

Joe Morgan: He's never been a Gold Glover, but he can help you out in other ways,

larry b: Like hitting 40+ HR and just being an awesome hitter?

like chasing those balls down the right field line.


"Ryan Howard has never been the best fielder at his position, but he can help you out in other ways, like fielding."

There's only so much Joe you can listen to in one night. Larry and I are calling it quits here after the 10th. We'll see you next Sunday.


Jack M said...

Great work KT, but since when do you allow outside commenters?

Larry B said...

Hey everyone- Now that PNoles and I both live in Chicago, look for this incredible demonstration of nerdery to become a weekly FireJay staple. Try not to act so excited.

pnoles said...'re not on the how can you be sure?

Martin said...

So if the Cubs and the Sox make the World Series, will you two do a Point/Counterpoint LiveBlog Duel?

Or you two could LiveBlog two different events happening at the same time! Ohoh!

Sadly, Joe Morgan has made Sunday Night baseball almost unwatchable for me. It's not healthy to grind your teeth for three hours at a time.

Larry B said...

Martin- Not sure I understand your point/counterpoint thing about a potential Sox/Cubs series. In order for us to take opposing viewpoints one of us would have to be a Cubs fan. And there definitely aren't any Cubs fans writing for this blog.

Martin said...

You're journalists dammit! Fake it!The integrity of the industry depends upon it!

Or maybe not.

JimA said...

You might want to do this with TBS. Their announcerrs on the game Sunday (Chip Carey and Buck Martinez?) are horrible. Tampa was playing some team that is apparantly not involved in a pennant race, while the Rays are locked in a death match with the Red Sox and Yankees where every game is worth two wins. I know the Rays are the "surprise" team and a good story, but there was more excitment in their voices bringing up the Red Sox and Yankee games
than talking about the Rays opponent and their division race, which is closer than the East. I hope the Rays win their division, but I think it will be in spite of their manager. Joe Maddon is an idiot, and all the hype I hear just proves it. One more 9=8 reference and somebody gets hurt.

Poor Chip. When the umpires were discussing Pierzynski's little basepath incident, I thought he was going to cry. The showed two replays of the tampa trainer coming out of the clubhouse to indicate that AJ stuck out his arm. It would be nice if someone in the booth knew the rules instead of talking about it like it never happened before.

pnoles said...

I'm interested, jima, no joke. Chip Carey is absolutely on my shit list for several years of awful commentary on the North Side of Chicago. I thought if I heard one more "SWUUUUNG ON AND BELTED...." it would have been the end of me.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy this site, but Jon Miller belongs among the top-five announcers who ever lived. You're way off targeting him. He's gonna say some obvious things in a three-hour telecast, but he's also going to entertain throughout.