Thursday, August 7, 2008

Chinese Democracy

While spinning through some Olympics coverage today, I found a worthwhile soundbite. Apparently Jim Caple is riding around on a bike to see how polluted Beijing really is. Folks, this is the kind of investigative journalism you can only get from the World Wide Leader in Sports. Jim helps prove the adage that all ordinary people look ridiculous when equipped and dressed up in professional cycling gear.

Unfortunately, because of all this "credit crunch" and "gas prices" nonsense, there's a lot of belt-tightening going on here at FJM HQ. Thanks to expense cuts, I think Larry B will be the only FJM reporter on the ground at Beijing:2008 and he's staying at the Econo Lodge in Changxindian, chosen for its relatively inexpensive donuts, its relative difficulty to pronounce and its distance from all major airports and events. Even the Stansted Express doesn't serve it. Last time I checked, he could only score tickets to men's handball, the preliminary heats of the 200m breaststroke and both men's and women's luge. Still, stay tuned for his incisive coverage of the Games' political and cultural significance. Doubtless he'll have a lot to say.

Anyways. On to the best part of Caple's article: an interview with a guy who is apparently the jokester prince of American cycling:

"There's definitely something in the air," David Zabriskie said after his ride. "It's like that Lynyrd Skynyrd song. 'Oooh that smell. Can't you smell that smell? Oooh that smell.'"

Yes. Yes it is. David. In fact, I think you're more accurate than you realize. I'd forgotten how amazing/ridiculous/alarming/intruiguing those lyrics were.

Actually, Zabriskie might be on to something. Considering that the top sponsors - like Coca-Cola- have had to shell out hundreds of millions of dollars for that title, and the air quality particulate readings that exceed even targets for developing nations ... I'm sure the citizens of the 13th most polluted city in the world understand what Ronnie Van Zant meant when he originally sang:

There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you.

It's almost like Ronnie was delivering a prophetic apostrophe to a city in need of a candid diagnosis of its diseased state.

Intrepid readers, the facts are all in. The 2008 Beijing Olympics theme song: Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell".


2 comments:

Jack M said...

Maybe Zabriskie will hit an oak tree during the competition, and we'll all have a laugh and look back on this fondly.

Unknown said...

This is the best Jim Caple article since he went on a bike ride with 'Roid Landis.