Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This Guy Named Erik Used to Write For FireJay

But he got sick of doing so after like two posts. I can't really blame him; he has a sweet job in the sports entertainment industry which requires a lot of writing so this probably just felt like more work to him. (I won't disclose who his employer is because he probably wouldn't want to risk being made fun of or fired from that job if his name were tied to this shitty blog. But let's just say it's with a branch of either the NBA, MLB, or NFL, and if you watch a lot of sports, there's a decent chance you've seen something on TV that he helped produce. ) Anyways, he sometimes sends me tips for stuff to put on the site, which is a nice way for him to contribute without the pressure of actually being listed as a contributor. Below is one such tip. All commentary from this point on is his.

So I find a link on SI.com for the top five NBA draft busts of all time. Like any straight, red-blooded, American male, I love busts. I scan to see where Sam Bowie is on the list. He isn't. But who is?

3. Kedrick Brown: The Celts selected this JuCo star 11th in the 2001 Draft, much higher than most experts had him projected (at least, those who had heard of him). He most recently played in the NBA's D-League.

Who else might the Celtics have reasonably drafted in that slot? Maybe Richard Jefferson (13) or Zach Randolph (19) [Tony Parker (28) never could have realistically been on anyone radar at that stage of the draft]. So Kedrick Brown is one of the biggest busts in draft history because he
didn't match the ceilings of a poor man's Scottie Pippen and an obese man's Otis Thorpe? Or the "floors" of Vlad Radmonovic, Troy Murphy, Steven Hunter, and Kirk Haston? Based on the outcome of the careers of players taken after him, Brown should've been anywhere from a fringe rotation player to a third banana. So, yes, by tumbling to the D-league, he must be the third biggest bust of all time.

Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.com

Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine, which comes with a free headband if you sign up for a one-year subscription. He probably knows more than me.


Smitty said...

That's really bad, but putting Robert Swift as the 5th biggest may be worse. Swift sucks, but he still might have a long career. And he was only drafted 12th. Marcus Fizer must be rolling in his grave.

Aaron B. said...

Hey, Bill Simmons is back to his dumbassery so quickly, this time re: the NBA Draft, even though he knows very little about prospects and Chad Ford actually does (well, at least more than Mr. BS).


cs said...

Bill Simmons? You mean "Page 2's VP of Common Sense".

larry b said...

Page 2's VP of Common Sense, who is convinced we need to watch movies like "Victory" in order to find good sports villains because there just aren't any that exist in real life these days.

Bengoodfella said...

Yeah, I don't think you can put a list together of the worst busts without Sam Bowie. Especially if you are going to use a comparison to other players as a reason for why the choice was bad.

At least Kedrick Perkins is still playing basketball in the states. This was not a very good list.

I am comparing the picks last year between Ford and Simmons to see who really is smarter. That should be fun.

Smitty said...

Holy crap, she finally did it.

Smitty said...

Well that link didn't work, but apparently Jemele Hill has been suspended for comparing the Celtics to Hitler in a column. Its like she says what we're all thinking!

Bengoodfella said...

I personally was not offended by Jemele Hill comparing the Celtics to Hitler. Of course I am not Jewish. I do think it was incredibly stupid to say.

I tried to read that draft debate between Chad Ford and Bill Simmons and just found it too stupid to even read. I can't really call either of them idiots yet because there is no telling if the players are going to turn out to be good or not. I wish someone would suspend Bill Simmons for offending his audience with this incredibly stupid pick ideas.

"I think they should package Marion and the No. 1 pick to the Lakers for Odom, Bynum, Radmonovic and a top 5 protected No. 1 pick. Then swing Odom over to the Timberwolves for Al Jefferson. Can you imagine Odom and Walker on the same team? That makes sense, who would not do that?"

He did not write that but it is pretty close to the horseshit he does write.

Aaron B. said...

I found the exchange at the beginning funny.


BS: I kicked your ass Chad with the Durant/Oden thing and like one other pick.

Chad Ford: Greg Oden had surgery last season. He'll still probably be a very good or great pro. I beat 80% of your picks. I think I won.

BS: But no, Durant counts for like a million!!!!!

Why did the Celtics have to win?

Bengoodfella said...

I just wanted to let everyone know based on my habit of back to back posts, I am going to go ahead and trademark the term "three-post."

From all those clues you have us Larry, does Ex-FJMariotti blogger Erik, help produce shows on ESPN Deportes? Is Erik actually Jemele Hill?

cs said...

I like the edit of her column: "It's like supporting inflation, unemployment and locusts."

Not quite as biting, but I guess it does the trick: it's boring, dumb and not funny whatsoever. Classic Page 2 material.

Remember when Hunter S. Thompson wrote for Page 2? It's like we've at some point slid into an alternate universe.

Bengoodfella said...

I was going to count the number of picks Simmons and Ford got right or at least who chose the better player and then see who won but then I realized I would be the loser. I was running through some running diaries from Bill's past and we will just say if I was not having Internet problems here in my attic, I would show what an idiot Bill Simmons is.

Bengoodfella said...

You are all foiling my attempts at back to back posts.

I think my favorite part of the email draft war is when Simmons makes a comment about how Beasley does not play enough defense to win a championship with him playing a key role on the team, then Chad Ford calls him out on choosing Kevin Durant over Greg Oden, saying Durant has the same problem. Then Simmons makes some shit up about how Durant is too skinny to play good defense and was in a bad situation in Seattle and that's why he can't play defense. Either way, the kid can't play defense and the same argument would apply against Beasley could apply to Durant, but Simmons can't see that through the eyes of love he has for Durant.

Oh and please remember, or he will remind you, that Simmons was on the Russell Westbrook bandwagon in December. I searched everyone one of his columns for that month and found no mention of Westbrook.

He's always making shit up, that's why it is hard to like him.

CitizenX said...

Apropos of nothing:

In an article about a 6'8 girl dunking with two(!!!!!!!) hands, ESPN blurts out this nonsense:

"she is a high school girl who can dunk a basketball. And not Lisa Leslie-Candace Parker-barely-over-the-rim dunks, either, but the kind fashioned after those of her idol, LeBron James"

Now, far be it from me to downplay her skills. But I know a little something about dunking. And I know a little something about Lebron James. And this girl is doing absolutely nothing close to what Lebron James does. Maybe it's because as a woman, she has regard for human life, but watch a video of her and watch a video of Lebron. This might be the stupidest thing I've ever seen on any website. It's downright sexist. Seriously.

Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming.

Chris W said...

i love how they're ripping their only current stars:



"Oh man, look at this new girl she makes you realize how pathetic Candace Parker is with her ridiculously shitty dunks that you should still watch because there are more 12 foot jump shots and those are better anyway."

Aaron B. said...

simmons was on Westbrook's bandwagon kinda early on (maybe at the beginning of conference play?), and i think he wrote it down in a "basketball blog" post, but he still makes up a ton of stuff.
Plus it's pretty damn hypocritical how he calls people out on their wrong/insane predictions, statements, etc. (e.g. John Hollinger, who's actually not that bad, and is, unlike Bill, an actual analyst), but when someone else calls him out, BS just says, "The lesson, as always...(I'm an idiot)" as if self-deprecation is an excuse for being wrong continually.

Again, why did the Celtics have to have good things happen to them?

Edward said...

My favorite part of the Simmons-Ford debate is when Simmons is discussing why Rose should go number one (which I wholeheartedly agree with, as a Bulls fan (I'll be pissed if they take Beasley (yay, nested parentheses!))), he uses these two statements in the same paragraph:

...naturally I aligned myself in the Rose camp because I tend to think logically about this stuff..

...he's got a great name (never underestimate the value of a great name)...

I mean, wow.

(Also, I don't know why I left "edward" as my blogger commenter name instead of a more nickname-y version, but I guess I'm stuck with it now.)

cs said...

That "he's got a great name" quote is classic Simmons.

But as for Rose and his future, the question really is: does he have an old man walk?

Martin said...

I had to stop reading when Chad ripped Simmons apart for his flip flop arguments, and lack of anything resembling logic. It was like reading a "Fire Bill Simmons" post in Simmons' own column! It was fantastic! Does anybody think Simmons realizes how lame and stupid he looks during that exchange, or does he think he was jsut being "witty"?

Chad Ford, powered by the Celtic Faithful, bringing justice to a Simmons article near you!

larry b said...

It's been 100% settled, etch the following things in stone because they're right and anyone who says otherwise is wrong-

1. The Blazers made a mistake when they took Oden over Durant
2. If Jay Williams had never gotten hurt, he'd be much better than Yao Ming today
3. Tom Brady is better than Peyton Manning