Onion-Style Articles Are Only Funny If You're A Funny Writer

I'm not sure what American teenagers did for fun back before TheOnion.com came out in like 1997 or something. Here's the thing: Onion articles were funny. Actually - they still are funny. But only when done by someone who knows what they're doing.

The problem with sportswriters is that most of them don't. And we end up with this. And this. Articles that aren't funny; articles whose satirical purpose [mocking the Joba media circus].

This is what happens when people like Larry Dobrow and DJ Gallo have an ordinary idea [Hey! People talk too much about Joba!] and resort to a now-conventional form [the fake-news story] and they come up with this garbage. I know pnoles sort of covered this already, but I felt it was necessary to point out that two major internet sports outlets came up with nearly-identical non-humorous spoof pieces, both taking the wry and original step of spoofing Chuck Norris jokes LOL I LOVE THOSE THEY ARE SO FUNY HOW CAN CHUCK DIVIDE BY ZERO SNORT.

In general, I think The Onion has been so successful that it's spawned dozens of imitators who have flooded the interweb with cheap knockoffs. I would've been more likely to laugh if the article stated "Joba Ate Himself". Or "Joba Strangled By Woman in Metallic Bikini". Or "Joba Appeases Megalomaniac Dictator". Or "Joba Punches Big Brown For Trademark Infringement".