Hey, Want To Read Some Jackass's 6,000 Word History Lesson About How Boston Changed Between 1998 and 2008?
Of course you don't. So avoid Bill Simmons's latest column. Here's what you need to know- back then it was full of racists, and now it's full of racists who are really excited about their local sports franchises. Anyways, in keeping with the spirit of this blog's unwritten policy that I must complain about Simmons's misconceptions about the uniqueness of Boston's fan base at least once every four hours, here's the most preposterous section of the article:
That's a phenomenon unique to this particular city -- an unusually high level of fraternizing between the Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots that started a few years ago and eventually reached the point that players show up to support the other teams.
OK... listen, dickass. This is really becoming your "thing," isn't it? Always gotta slip it into your columns. Boy, Jay Mariotti's inability to realize that there is nothing special about July 2, 2006 doesn't have shit on Bill's inability to realize that this is the kind of thing that happens in every multi-sport city all the fucking time. Boston. Fans. Are. Not. Special. (Here's the most in-depth post I've ever made about the subject, but you don't have to look too hard to find dozens of other small examples scattered here and there.) Not even their athlete fans. How do I know this? Besides the fact that I'm not Bill Simmons, I've also seen or heard about Nuggets/Rockies/Avalanche/Broncos players attending each others' games since I can remember. And more recently I've experienced the same trend among Redskins/Capitals/Wizards/Nationals players. Now, Denver and DC are not exactly two cities known for their vibrant sports scene. The former is really just a town for binge drinkers and fitness nuts (what a juxtaposition!) while the latter tends to revolve around politics for some reason. So if players are showing up at each others' games in those cities, I'm very comfortable making the leap and assuming it's happening everywhere.
Now, there are two extra points I have to make to clarify my position.
1) Re: the context of Bill's comment, the list of Boston athletes/former athletes he cited as having been in attendance at Sunday night's Lakers/Celtics game was actually pretty impressive. Sort of. Bill Russell? Cool. (I hope he didn't get called the "n" word by the people in his section too much.) On the other hand, Coco Crisp and Antoine Walker? Whoop-de-balls. But it's certainly more impressive than a potential list of DC athletes/former athletes at a Nationals game on a Wednesday in May. You know why? Because the Boston list came from game two of the NBA Finals. And an absurdly-hyped and long-anticipated finals at that.
2) You know who was on Simmons's list, who I must concede might actually put Boston athletes over the top and convince me that they really are different and more special than other cities' athletes? That's right, the man with the diamond-encrusted 28" pecker himself... Tedy Bruschi. Bruschi! He's the founder and CEO of The United Way, UNICEF, and "Locks of Love!" Speaking of which, look at his hair! You've got an erection, don't you! Don't worry! That's normal! *Larry B trails off while making bad Bruschi jokes*
16 comments:
St. Louis is a better sports city than Boston. After winning the World Series in '06, Tony La Russa, So Taguchi, Brad Thompson, Tyler Johnson, and Josh Hancock were all in attendance for a game at the start of one of the worst regular seasons in Blues history.
For the first time ever, I did not even click on the link to see what Simmons had to write. I am proud of myself. Usually I click the link and then recoil in horror at the column but I managed to avoid this one completely.
I think he is trying to get fired now. No one gives a rat's ass what the city looked like in 1998 and looks like today. I think he is just a cheerleader at this point. He does not so much write columns but get the Boston faithful to feel like they are special and get them ready to cheer for Boston sports.
How many times have you seen a Celtics and Red Sox player show up for a Patriot game? Ever? Have you ever seen a Celtics or Patriots player at a Red Sox game that did not include the playoffs? Not only is he making this shit up but how can he not know this happens in every city?
Why does he think his teams are the only ones that have athletes from different sports in the city show up at games? He probably also thinks his wife was a virgin when they met.
Strange, right before the Super Bowl, a bunch of players from the NY Giants went to watch the god awful Knicks right before they smacked down the Patriots in the most enjoyable and hilarious way possible for those outside of Boston. Wanna know who else has gone to watch Knick games, Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes and David Wright of the Mets as well as Derek Jeter and Arod of the Yankees. As a Mets season ticket holder, I know that several players from the Giants, Jets, Rangers, and Knicks go to Mets games. What's even crazier is that this "Boston uniqueness" occured where I grew up in Indpls between the Colts and Pacers. Come to think of it, this Boston phenomenon also happened when I lived in Philadelphia as well. Imagine that, professional athelets actually liking sports.
A whole bunch of pro athletes played multiple sports growing up. It's the kind of thing that happens when you have 6 inches on your classmates (and are taller too haahahaahahaahah i slay me).
Besides, these kinds of things are social events and chances to prove your ticket-pulling cache. I guarantee that when Florida meets Tampa Bay in the World Series this year, we'll see some local celebs, if there are any local celebs.
Even the athletes in Boston are bandwagon fans.
Bill was an only child and I think that explains why he thinks everything he does is special. If he had a younger sibling I think he would realize that nothing he does is great and there is usually someone who does it better.
His columns are like a train wreck for me. I want to avoid them but can not because I actually enjoy his stupidity and ego, they make me feel better about me.
As a Boston fan I can tell you that one thing that IS unique to Boston fans, moreso than every other city, is that we are inherently on the side of what is good, right, cool, better, smarter awesome, angelic, and perfect, whereas other cities fans are supported by mischief, the devil, evil, bad stuff, smelly-ness, and dumb-osity.
I like that he said that the fraternizing started a few weeks ago and the result of that is showing up to watch the games. What came before that? Isn't that the most basic show of support? Were they having big pizza parties to watch the games when finally Tedy went...."screw this shit - I'm going!"
I meant to say "YEARS", not weeks.
Although I think weeks is more accurate.
He's finally written a column I can't defend at all.
It's tempting to say that Bill has such a screwed-up view because he's only ever lived in Boston and L.A., and L.A. is a pretty shitty sports town. But I'm fairly confident that we will see a few famous L.A. athletes in the seats at tonight's game, so the whole point is somewhat moot. Hey, I'm sure Bill will apologize in tomorrow's colummn.
I actually didn't mind that he compared Boston now to what it was before he left, in general. What did bother me is that he's been to Boston at least 6 times before this that we know of from columns he's written. He makes it seem like he hasn't been home since he moved out here to LA. If it was a real "coming home" type column, it would be acceptable, but it's nothing more then another way for him to stick "Damn, Boston's great!" into another column.
His "uniqueness" myopia is jsut now out of control, and makes one think, is he even reading his columns after he writes them? He isn't a bad writer, and should be able to re-read his work and give it a decent critique to realize "Wow, this might be a little bit excessive." It makes me hope he does leave ESPN, and then realize, umm, the grass isn't greener someplace else, and ain't nobody going to pay him the kind of money TWWL is to write crap like this.
Oh, and one last thing. He mentions how he hates the new bandwagon type Boston fans...where does he think half of them come from? His fan bois are the prototypical Bostonwagon fans. Deal with hell, Mister Simmons.
I think my new favorite part was when he was talking about the Lakers fans in attendance and he suggested that no Celtics fans should sell their tickets to these fans. The irony of a Red Sox fan, whose team "travels well," complaining about other fans in their arena was more irony than I could handle.
That's like me complaining about a column that complains about Bill Simmons.
Actually Jeff, I like to think they were not having pizza parties, but were actually sitting in the media room of the arena watching the game when they realized they are wealthy athletes, why don't they just go inside the arena towards the loud sound of fans yelling. Or possibly
I also like how Simmons named all the celebrities in the crowd and said that it was filled with Boston die hards. Proving that not only do the fans affect officiating calls but they have the perfect mix of celebrity and blue collar workers.
Martin, fantastic point about how he is the culprit for many of the bandwagon fans. I think he was trying to make a comparison between how great the Big Three teams in Boston are doing with how well the city is doing. It failed and I hate worse than I used to now.
I've been living in Boston this year and I just wanted to report that the city barely gives a shit about the Celtics. The day after game 1, the talk of the town was about the shouting match between Youk and Manny. Tickets are selling, but only because the Celtics have a great team. Also, there's still construction everywhere in Boston. And Cambridge has always had movies shot in town because so many are set at Harvard. So Simmons is 0-2 on those points too.
Smitty- I wish I could have made it through the parts of the column you're referencing so I could understand your points. Unfortunately, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Yeah, fair enough. Allow me to give you the short version: Boston is wicked awesome because its nicer than it used to be. Except maybe its lost touch with its blue collar roots. At least that's what the leading authority on blue collar roots, Bill Simmons, seems to think. Choate is probably one of the more blue collar Connecticut prep schools, right?
The only difference between Boston and Miami in terms of the sports scene is that people in Boston have had four or five generations to develop rooting interests in their teams whereas the oldest professional team in Miami is the Dolphins, and they've only been around since the late '60s. Marino shows up at Heat games every now and then and I met Pat Riley at a Marlins game a few years back. Boston's just as bandwagon-y as Miami.
Maybe he's comparing Boston to Cleveland, where the biggest star in town shows up at an Indians' playoff game wearing the cap of the visiting team. Or not...
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