Just Stop, Jerry. Fucking Stop.
Continuing the wave of short posts here on FireJay....
Hey everyone! Did you ever wonder which baseball players are good at stealing bases! No? You don't have a clue? You're not really a fan and have been stuck under a rock? Great! Jerry Crasnick just wrote this just for you! Would you ever have suspected that Juan Pierre is one of the best base-stealers in the league? How about Jose Reyes? He's so far removed from the public spotlight that you might never have noticed that he swipes a TON of bases!
If that crap doesn't define useless, Crasnick. I don't know what does. This is officially the first column that was not either blatantly wrong or written poorly that has gotten me really, really, REALLY pissed off. You need to find something else to do for a living, Jerry, because you're just flooding the world with stuff people didn't need you to tell them. I have no idea how ESPN doesn't notice just how little you contribute to the flow of baseball information and analysis.
3 comments:
Crasnick writes: "In a 3-2 win over San Diego on Sunday, [Ichiro] singled in the first inning, stole second and third base and scored on a Jose Lopez grounder for Seattle's first run. The sequence was straight out of the McLaren playbook."
So the "McLaren playbook" is to scrape out a couple of 1 run innings and win with speed and pitching. Well, they've got the first part down, scoring the sixth fewest runs in the AL. They're still working on the second part, since they've allowed the third most.
It's painful to watch people write this stuff. By the way, in their other games aside from that by-the-book 3-2 victory, the Mariners are 17-29. Rock on, you traditionalists!
"We like to steal bases," said general manager Theo Epstein, "as long as we don't get caught."
Thanks for putting that call into the Theo Epstein, Jerry.
I think my favorite part of the column was when they were talking about Brian Roberts. "He's always looking for ways to push the envelope," said Seattle bench coach Sam Perlozzo, Roberts' former manager in Baltimore. "He's relentless."
I read that and then imagined Brian Roberts pushing the steal envelope and trying to steal the pitcher's mound or stealing the plate brush from the umpire's pocket and scurrying away with Sam Perlozzo grinning happily, thinking how relentless Roberts is.
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