Wednesday, October 15, 2008

John Kruk is retarded

I hate to bury Larry's liveblog from the Rays / Sox game last night. Rumor has it it's worth the read.

But, I have to bring you this.

John Kruk ended the 11pm Sportscenter tonight with a taped segment in which he was to answer the question Is the Dodgers / Phillies series going to end Wednesday night?

ON TAPE, Kruk responds:

"If the Dodgers are going to continue on in this postseason, it's going to rely on the arm of right hander Chad Billingsley."

So, let me see if I get this straight. If the Dodgers want to win game five, their pitcher needs to pitch well? Got it.

...about two sentences later...

"If this series is going to go on though, they're [the Dodgers] going to have to figure out a way to beat Cole Hamels."

So, if the Dodgers want to win game five, they need to beat the pitcher pitching for their opponent. Possibly, they'll need to score some runs. Woah.

Seriously. John Kruk taped this segment. This wasn't something he had to answer on the spot. This was planned.

I've searched the four corners of the interweb to figure out how much money John Kruk (rhymes with duck) is stealing from ESPN. Sadly, no statistics can be found. But, here's a representation of how he feels when he goes home.

[edit: My apologies for the spelling errors. I really have no excuse for them, other than "shut the hell up and worry about something important." Like, what the Dodgers can do to beat the Phillies tonight.}

14 comments:

Tonus said...

This is typical of the "analysis" and "insight" you get from ESPN. 90% of the time they boil down to "Team A's key to the game is to outscore Team B" or "Team B's goal is to pitch, hit, and field well enough to win tonight." The other 10% has to do with grit, scrap, momentum, steely-eyes, and similar crap.

And people say that ballplayers are overpaid...

Anonymous said...

Note, you've spelled at least two words wrong in this post: "Dogers" and "Sporscenter." Probably shouldn't critique the stupidity of others until you've at least run a spellcheck. Glass houses, and all that.....

Chris W said...

spelling is certainly the mark of intelligence, especially when the spelling in question is a simple typographical error.

Larry B said...

The best part of anonymous's comment is imagining him obsessively checking it for spelling errors. You know, trying to avoid being a pot calling a kettle black, and all that...

Chris W said...

:-|

cs said...

There are too many periods in your ellipsis, anonymous. WAY too many.

Bengoodfella said...

Don't feel too bad Andrew about misspelling words in your posts. At least you don't get basic facts about what you are discussing wrong (pointing finger at self).

I don't mind it when someone points out my mistakes but it does irritate me quite a bit when someone does it anonymously. I don't know why this is.

Is there a spell check on blogger?

Andrew said...

Don't worry ben. It really doesn't bother me at all. No doubt, I misspelled them. However, what does bother me is when people attempt to equate missing a letter in a word with having absolutely putrid analytical reasoning skills.

Bengoodfella said...

It's under the false assumption that to make fun of someone you have to be perfect yourself. I think most people understand bloggers are not always going to be perfect. I would put absolutely perfect spelling at the bottom of the list of things that are important.

Unlike these professional writers, you don't have an editor to catch these type things.

Martin said...

Well, if they paid you as much as they do Kruk, I'm sure you'd make sure your spelling was perfect. Pride in ones work is one things, but being paid an asston of cash to do it always makes it sweeter.

Also, I know most of my mispellings are because of a craptastic keyboard that I'm too cheap to replace. So they never bother me except...

When it's done by other people who complain about a critique on analysis, and compare a mispelling in a column about it, to said asshat analysis. If Dandy Andy was comparing the Kruksters spelling ability, then there would be some kind of valid comparison, or critique of Andrews misspellings. As it is however, it's just Anonymous being an fucktard.

As for this rant, I've got a killer headache that I'd like to blame on a hangover, but it's merely lunchtime at work, so it's going to last 4 more hours. I'll let it go and not be a spaz tomorrow.

CitizenX said...

Dude, Firefox. Look into it. It does the squigly thing.

That's how I know that I mispelled "squiggly" in the previous sentence and "misspelled" in this one.

Andrew said...

Meh. Whatever. If you want to make your main gripe of this blog one re spelling. There's nothing I'm going to be able to do to please you.

If, however, your main point of coming here is focused around finding out who's being stupid, how they're being stupid, and for the occasional laugh, well then, I'm [we're] here for you.

CitizenX said...

"There's nothing I'm going to be able to do to please you."

Nudes. Starting with dan-bob...I have this theory.

dan-bob said...

This is a family-friendly blog! Our advertisers will run for the hills, X!