Sunday, July 5, 2009

Stan McNeal: Perpetual Fuckstick

Stan McNeal has some All-Star game thoughts. Smartass that I am, I have counter-thoughts.

First comes the selection of the All-Star teams. Next comes the griping. Even with the rosters bumped to 33 players, I've got my complaints. Here's my top five.

Is anyone watching the Rangers?
No Kevin Millwood. No Ian Kinsler. Both should be on the club, especially Millwood.


I will grant you this. These are both very legitimate claims. Millwood not being on the team (as opposed to like, Wakefield, whom McNeal cites) is something of a cruel joke. Kinsler's numbers are significantly better than those of that shithead Pedroia, and given Kinsler's superior defense, I'll give him the nod over Aaron Hill, though it's very close. Hill over Kinsler is not worth crying over, so I'm guessing the complaint is against Pedroia. So I guess the problem here is the fan voting.

There's a far, FAR bigger Rangers-related fan-voting-oriented complaint out there though. Did you miss it, Stanley? How about the fact that this guy is starting the game after playing only 35 games at a .240/.290/.456 clip? America, this is absolutely unacceptable.

The Dodgers were snubbed, too.
The Cubs had eight representatives last year when they carried the N.L.'s best record into the break. This year, the Dodgers have the best record in the majors but only three All-Stars and just one — backup second baseman Orlando Hudson — who plays in the field.


Waaahh Waaaahhh Waaaahhh. The Cubs comparison is completely illegitimate. The Dodgers this year are a far more balanced powerhouse than the Cubs from last season.

Maybe the players split their votes between Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier, allowing Hunter Pence to gain a spot.

Correct ranking of these three players, not really close. Gap between Kemp and Pence is primarily due to positional difference and Kemp's awesome CF defense.

1) Kemp
2) Pence
3) Ethier

Please do not mention Ethier again.

Ethier leads the world in walk-off hits,

What did I JUST say?

Ohhhh...I forgot the almighty Walk-Off-Hit stat, the most sustainable and telling of stats.

and Kemp is hitting .303.

Pence is hitting .303. Please argue better. That was terrible.

Picking four first basemen in the N.L. was the way to go.
Don't blame Charlie Manuel for adding his own, Ryan Howard, to the team, even though Albert Pujols, Adrian Gonzalez and Prince Fielder are more deserving. First base is that loaded, and the game is in Howard's hometown. Plus, he would not have been in the home run contest if he didn't make the team.


NO. NO. NO. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

1) Ryan Howard has a .328 OBP
2) You just argued someone should be in the All-Star game because it's their hometown. Where do you get the right to criticize other peoples' selections?
3) Ryan Howard a) has a significantly lower EqA and b) plays an easier defensive position than Hunter Pence, whom you bitched about earlier. You think it's such a crime that Matt Kemp was snubbed, but it's okay to stick The Most Overrated Ever on the team FOURTH on the depth chart at his position?
4) The home run contest is SO FUCKING IRRELEVANT.

Only one Cub.
As that's all who should have been.


Why did you even write that?

Only one Red.
As that's all who should have been.

I just....don't understand the point.

(btw...just kidding dan-bob....Cueto was snubzilla-ed!)

9 comments:

Tonus said...

I'm betting that this guy is one of those writers who is always bitching about "statheads" ruining baseball, and then he promotes Ethier for an all-star spot because he leads the league in walk-off hits.

Chris W said...

The best part is that iirc, non-all-stars are still invited to participate in the HR Derby.

Bengoodfella said...

Since I find the All-Star game to be completely irrelevant, I am always dismayed to argue with selections to the teams. Yet, I still do it.

What kills me is exactly what Tonus said. These writers who hate statistics because they are ruining the future of baseball also happen to use completely arbitrary and useless stats like walk off hits to determine who wins awards and makes the All-Star team. It's as if they would rather use arbitrary statistics as opposed to any stat that has some sort of proof behind it.

I am going to go ahead and be a homer and say Molina over McCann is the biggest starting lineup snub. Molina's defense isn't that much better than McCann's.

These people who write articles like this are also the same ones who vote for end of season awards. Scary.

JohnF said...

Josh Hamilton as a starter is the biggest joke. It was a cute story last year, but enough's enough.
Jorge Posada should be an All-Star over Victor Martinez. Martinez is the better hitter (at least this year) but he's played more games at first and DH than he has at catcher. And when he does catch he's worse than Mike Piazza defensively.

Bengoodfella said...

John, there is a such thing being a worse defensive catcher than Mike Piazza. I can't believe it...

Hamilton was a great story last year but it doesn't mean he should have made the All-Star team. Every year I say I am not getting in ASG debates and then I do.

Elliot said...

At least they got it right with the Rockies. Marquis and Hawpe were the only two who actually deserved to go.

Though by McNeal's standards, Seth Smith should have gone too because he's the best pinch hitter in the NL. WHo cares if he's not an everyday player? He gets the ball in play!

Chris W said...

Shitty all star voting is the steroids of non-steroids issues.

At first it was obnoxious and outrageous to me how lousy the all-star game rosters were, but eventually they made me just give less of a shit about the all-star game and by this point I give about as much of a shit about who makes the AS Team as I do if some roided up corked-bat dickhead hits 65 Home Runs or some bullshit.

In short, by letting the lunatics run the asylum, MLB has guaranteed I give less than one half of a shit what happens in the godforsaken ASG voting, ASG, and pre-ASG festivities, home field advantage or not.

WTG MLB!

Fred Trigger said...

I had always thought that the word "fuckstick" was invented by "Bad Santa", but I was watching "The Shawshank Redemption" the other day and the main guard referred to Tim Robbins as a "fuckstick". My mind was blown.

P.S. Adam Dunn needs to be in the HR Derby. I think he would put Josh Hamilton's display to shame, if he tried.

dan-bob said...

Cueto just responded to this snub by getting his ass pwned. Justice was served.