Wednesday, January 28, 2009

WATMQR: Gregg Easterbrook Limps Towards the Finish Line

He's still wrting. I'm still furious about it.

What jumps off the page about postseason stats? Pittsburgh's rushing defense. The Hypocycloids have given up just 44 rushing yards per game.

Sample size: two games. Both played at home. In bad weather. One against an OK offensive team (#11 during the regular season in yardage), the other against a sub-mediocre one (#18). Conclusion: DOMINANCE.

And though divisional-round opponent San Diego was down big in the second half and abandoned the run, the Pittsburgh-Baltimore AFC Championship Game was close until midway through the fourth quarter. Pittsburgh also was the second-best team in the NFL against the run in the regular season.

Much more relevant, although it's worth noting that there are no good offensive teams in the AFC North. In any case, it's cited four sentences later.

The Steelers' defense can bring a rushing game to a halt, and against Pittsburgh, staying with the run and continuing to pound the ball doesn't seem to work. Unless Arizona breaks a couple of runs in the first half, the Cardinals may have little choice but to go pass-wacky. Pittsburgh is also first in the postseason against the pass.

Again. Sample size: two games. Both played at home. In bad weather. One against an OK offensive team (#11 during the regular season in yardage), the other against a sub-mediocre one (#18). Conclusion: DOMINANCE.

With Warner, Arizona has often been careless with the football; Warner threw four interceptions and fumbled twice in the Cards' losses to the Eagles and Giants during the regular season, for instance. In the current postseason, Arizona is plus-11 in turnovers. Being plus-11 is a big reason for the Cards' surprise Super Bowl run. But luck is a huge factor in turnovers, and luck has a way of changing.

I mean... yeah. Recovering fumbles and intercepting tipped passes has an element of luck to it. On the other hand, forcing fumbles and intercepting non-tipped passes that come as a result of pressuring the quarterback has much less luck. I doubt the Cardinals will force 3.75 turnovers this game, because their pace so far in the playoffs is pretty ridiculous. Luck is "a huge factor" in winning at bingo and choosing the toll booth line that will move the fastest. Calling luck "a huge factor" in turnovers is bad analysis.

In the conference championship round, three of the four teams-- Arizona, Philadelphia and Pittsburgh -- employed the shotgun spread on third-and-1. All three did not rush. All three did not swing for the fence -- as the 1966 Packers showed, the best time to throw deep is third-and-1 -- rather, they attempted some dinky-dunky 5-yard junk passes. Tuesday Morning Quarterback finds it hard to believe the majority of teams in the NFL championship round felt they needed to go shotgun spread in order to gain 1 yard. But there it is.

What? You can gain positive yardage on low-risk passing plays out of the shotgun spread? What crazy world are we living in?!?!

TMQ believes the farther in the playoffs you go, the more important game-planning, coaching and psychological preparation become -- because at each stage, the pressure increases.

While the pressure in the Super Bowl may slightly exceed the pressure in the conference championship and divisional rounds, I have a really hard time believing that any team's game-planning, coaching, and psychological preparation can in any way get more intense or thorough as the playoffs progress. What are coaches saying during the divisional round- "Well, we don't need to prepare THAT thoroughly. Need to save some thoroughness for if we make it all the way to the Super Bowl." In other words: Gregg Easterbrook is a zilcheroo.

As the pressure increases, so too does the temptation to escape pressure. Tampa has a renowned late-night topless-club social scene, which some say is even better than the scene in Vegas. If any player from either team is out club-hopping Saturday night rather than back at the hotel playing Yahtzee and drinking milk shakes, that team is finished.

Tell that to Eugene Robinson, almost exactly ten years ago! HEY-OHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moving on to another douchechill-inducing Easterbrook skt, this time revolving around Lybian leader Muammar Qaddafi, who just had a piece about the Palestinian/Israeli conflict publised in the New York Times.

As a Christian, I believe in redemptive power, so I am willing to believe Qaddafi has changed. Still, encountering the jarring sight of an op-ed by Muammar Qaddafi, I envisioned this scene:

FACTOTUM: (Trembling.) Brotherly Leader, we have received the read-back from the Times copy editor.

QADDAFI: Did it come on purest vellum?

FACTOTUM: Not exactly. Staples fax paper, I used an Internet coupon. (Hesitates.) The Times copy editor -- she changed a semicolon.

QADDAFI: Infidel! She will die for this! Have her buried in sand up to her head in the village quad, then let loose the scorpions!

FACTOTUM: (Shaking.) If you would deign to cast your magnificent gaze upon this PDF …

QADDAFI: (Takes the edited copy, reads.) Hey, she's right -- the sentence flows better now. Forget what I said. Send her a thousand red roses. Name a school after her.

FACTOTUM: (Immensely relieved.) Of course!

QADDAFI: Buy the entire day's press run. Also, tell the Times editors if they don't want anything to happen to their fancy new building, give me the crossword puzzle answers in advance. I like to dazzle people by doing the crossword really fast.

FACTOTUM: (Bows.) By your command.

Who keeps telling him to write skits? I would rather watch My Name Is Earl than continue to be subjected to this garbage.

Re: The Hall of Fame credentials of former Bills WR Andre Reed:

Reed's accomplishment were compiled despite playing for a cold-weather team -- and during the no-huddle period, Jim Kelly's Bills actually rushed more often than they passed --

They were still running the no-huddle, genius.

while Rice played for a warm-weather passing team

Have you ever been to San Francisco (specifically the location of Monster Park/Candlestick Park, which has some of the worst weather in the whole Bay Area) in November and December? It's harder to catch a ball in rain than cold, and it is almost always raining there at that time of the year.

and Carter played most of his career indoors with a dome team. Today with spread offenses putting up pinball numbers, Reed has slipped to the lower part of the career statistical top 10, and is sure to slip further as the years pass, though he still trails only Rice in postseason catches.

And this is why we should put everyone who has played for the Yankees in the last 15 years or so in the baseball HOF; they lead pretty much everyone in postseason counting stats. That's the true measure of HOF worthiness.

The NFL is an entertainment organization; its players are paid millions of dollars for chasing a ball. That's fine, but NFL performance should never be confused with any kind of heroism. Tillman was a patriot, motivated by love of country. He expressed strong misgivings about the Iraq war, but had no misgivings about the US of A, and unlike the many "chicken hawks" in politics and the media who pound the table about how somebody else should go fight, Tillman was willing to offer himself. That made him heroic in the everlasting sense: a hero is someone who takes risks, or endures sacrifice, in order to serve others. Tillman walked away from money -- what I believe the NFL is "about" -- to pursue something much higher. Perhaps Tillman and Kalsu should have their images in Canton; in an age that has devalued honor, they were men of honor. But each of these men made a difficult choice that had nothing to do with football. It would be offensive if pro football, through the Hall of Fame, pretended its players and coaches, paid vast amounts of money for making no sacrifice of any kind, could claim the reflected glory of two departed war heroes.

I'm sort of undecided about whether or not Tillman was a cool guy or not (there are certainly rumors that he was killed by intentional friendly fire, for what those are worth). But to decry the NFL for thinking about honoring him in Canton is fucking ridiculous. They're not "claiming reflected glory," they're honoring a guy who made an unselfish decision that almost no one would make. I don't want to get all political or anything, but Christ, honoring someone who quit your league to go into the army is not "claiming their reflected glory." Easy now.

Popcorn Optional: Planning to watch this Sunday? Of the 17 most-watched television events ever, 17 were Super Bowls. In 2008, 13 of the 15 most-watched network broadcasts and 14 of the 15 most-watched cable broadcasts were NFL games.

It's not totally wrong, but this is an exaggeration. Adjusting for population growth by using percentage of US households watching rather than total worldwide households, the most-watched Super Bowl of all time comes in at number four and Super Bowls as a whole only account for four of the top ten. Just saying.

Leftover US Airways Question: In the harrowing four minutes between when US Airways Flight 1549 lost power and its successful splashdown in the Hudson River, experienced glider pilot Chesley Sullenberger flew the plane while first officer Jeffrey Skiles tried to work through a three-page checklist of steps required for in-flight restart of the engines. Obviously, Skiles had no hope of completing the task in time. But why were there instructions at all -- to say nothing of three pages? Aircraft flight-management computers could be loaded with software that immediately diagnoses the condition of the engines and performs the restart sequence whenever the flight deck sends an engine-restart command. No pilot could trust his memory on a three-page set of steps, but no pilot should have to: This is the kind of job that electronics do better than people. In distressing respects, today's cockpits apparently are often behind the curve of the chip-based technology in a typical teenager's pocket.

Gregg's solution for everything: computers! Robots operating computers! Tiny computers, which do everything for you! Computers never make mistakes or fail- this idea is foolproof! I mean, they work pretty well in iPods and cell phones, right? There is never a situation, such as during an in-flight emergency, when a job is better suited for a human than a computer! Let's put microchips in footballs so we can tell if they break the plane of the goal line! Fuck it, let's just run the whole country with computers! COMPUTERS!

What a fucking moron.

Leftover Curse Points: [M]any readers, including Clara Parke of Portland, Ore., noted that Brett Favre staged an embarrassing late-season meltdown in the same season in which his visage appeared on the cover of the new Madden game.

Favre's season ended horribly not because he is old, or not nearly as good at football as people think, but because he endorsed a product back in the summer of 2008. It's science.

The 2008 Tuesday Morning Quarterback All-Unwanted All-Pros: Each year, TMQ honors those gentlemen who became NFL success stories despite going undrafted, or being waived, or both.

Please enjoy my analysis of the following picks for the team.

Kevin Mawae*, Tennessee (let go by two NFL teams)

Cut by the Jets for salary cap reasons.

Antonio Gates, San Diego (undrafted, did not play college football)

Probably the best pick on the list- how dare no NFL team draft a guy who didn't play NCAA football! What were they thinking?

Kevin Curtis, Philadelphia (walk-on at Utah State)

He wasn't good at football at age 18, but is good now. Therefore: unwanted.

Derrick Ward*, Giants (signed off the crosstown rival Jets' practice squad)

Clearly nobody wanted him, certainly not the Jets, who had him on their practice squad.

Antonio Winfield, Minnesota

The Vikings signed him to a 6 year, $34 million free agent contract.

Wes Welker*, New England (undrafted despite numerous collegiate records at Texas Tech)

Setting records at Texas Tech guarantees NFL success. Just look at Cliff Kingsbury.

Fred Jackson*, Buffalo (undrafted from academics-oriented Division III Coe College, played for Sioux City Bandits of the United Indoor Football League)

Same story as Gates, essentially. What? No one drafted a D-III guy? Who'd have guessed?

Kerry Collins*, Tennessee (released by three NFL teams)

Released by all of those teams for sucking, he magically had a sort of good season while running a stripped-down offense for a team with a great defense and great running game.

Clinton Hart*, San Diego (undrafted out of Central Florida Community College, played in the Arena League)

Another guy who didn't get drafted because he played against nobodies in college. Compelling.

Kyle Larson, Cincinnati (undrafted, and owing to the awful Bengals offense, boomed a league-high 100 punts in 2008)

An undrafted punter? Knock me over with a feather.

Wedge blocker: Darrell Reid, Indianapolis (undrafted)

And you've got an undrafted guy blocking on special teams. Go figure.

Nick Ferguson of Denver, undrafted, was waived by the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, did not get his first NFL start until age 28

As a Broncos fan, I can promise you that this guy is terrible. He should be unwanted by the Broncos, as well as every other team in the league, but Denver is so bad on defense that he's basically a warm body filling space for them until they get some real players.

Only two (I think) more TMQs left until August, people. Hold on tight.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

With Warner, Arizona has often been careless with the football; Warner threw four interceptions and fumbled twice in the Cards' losses to the Eagles and Giants during the regular season, for instance. In the current postseason, Arizona is plus-11 in turnovers. Being plus-11 is a big reason for the Cards' surprise Super Bowl run. But luck is a huge factor in turnovers, and luck has a way of changing.


why are Arizona's two bad games for turnovers considered sloppy, yet their positive turnover games are considered lucky? there's a logical error in there

Anonymous said...

Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

Larry B may be worse than easterbrook.

What jumps off the page about postseason stats? Pittsburgh's rushing defense. The Hypocycloids have given up just 44 rushing yards per game.

Sample size: two games. Both played at home. In bad weather. One against an OK offensive team (#11 during the regular season in yardage), the other against a sub-mediocre one (#18). Conclusion: DOMINANCE.

DUMMY, HE IS SPECIFICALLY TALKING ABOUT POSTSEASON STATS. HE DOESNT MAKE ANY CONCLUSIONS AT ALL. WAY TO BEAT DOWN THAT STRAWMAN.

The Steelers' defense can bring a rushing game to a halt, and against Pittsburgh, staying with the run and continuing to pound the ball doesn't seem to work. Unless Arizona breaks a couple of runs in the first half, the Cardinals may have little choice but to go pass-wacky. Pittsburgh is also first in the postseason against the pass.

Again. Sample size: two games. Both played at home. In bad weather. One against an OK offensive team (#11 during the regular season in yardage), the other against a sub-mediocre one (#18). Conclusion: DOMINANCE.

DO YOU ACTUALLY DISAGREE? ALL HE'S SAYING IS THAT ZONA WILL PROBABLY NOT BE ABLE TO RUN AND WILL HAVE TO PASS. CALM DOWN WITH THE HISTRIONICS

while Rice played for a warm-weather passing team

Have you ever been to San Francisco (specifically the location of Monster Park/Candlestick Park, which has some of the worst weather in the whole Bay Area) in November and December? It's harder to catch a ball in rain than cold, and it is almost always raining there at that time of the year.

YEAH? IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS RAINING THERE THAT TIME OF YEAR? NITPICKING, SURE, BUT YOU'RE LIVING IN A GLASS HOUSE, FRIEND.

Leftover US Airways Question: In the harrowing four minutes between when US Airways Flight 1549 lost power and its successful splashdown in the Hudson River, experienced glider pilot Chesley Sullenberger flew the plane while first officer Jeffrey Skiles tried to work through a three-page checklist of steps required for in-flight restart of the engines. Obviously, Skiles had no hope of completing the task in time. But why were there instructions at all -- to say nothing of three pages? Aircraft flight-management computers could be loaded with software that immediately diagnoses the condition of the engines and performs the restart sequence whenever the flight deck sends an engine-restart command. No pilot could trust his memory on a three-page set of steps, but no pilot should have to: This is the kind of job that electronics do better than people. In distressing respects, today's cockpits apparently are often behind the curve of the chip-based technology in a typical teenager's pocket.

Gregg's solution for everything: computers! Robots operating computers! Tiny computers, which do everything for you! Computers never make mistakes or fail- this idea is foolproof! I mean, they work pretty well in iPods and cell phones, right? There is never a situation, such as during an in-flight emergency, when a job is better suited for a human than a computer! Let's put microchips in footballs so we can tell if they break the plane of the goal line! Fuck it, let's just run the whole country with computers! COMPUTERS!

YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

The 2008 Tuesday Morning Quarterback All-Unwanted All-Pros: Each year, TMQ honors those gentlemen who became NFL success stories despite going undrafted, or being waived, or both.

Please enjoy my analysis of the following picks for the team.

Kevin Mawae*, Tennessee (let go by two NFL teams)

Cut by the Jets for salary cap reasons.

Antonio Gates, San Diego (undrafted, did not play college football)

Probably the best pick on the list- how dare no NFL team draft a guy who didn't play NCAA football! What were they thinking?

Kevin Curtis, Philadelphia (walk-on at Utah State)

He wasn't good at football at age 18, but is good now. Therefore: unwanted.

WERE EACH OF THESE THREE GUYS (AND THE OTHERS BUT NO NEED TO POST THE ENTIRE LIST) EITHER UNDRAFTED OR WAIVED? YES. AGAIN, SETTLE DOWN WITH THE HISTRIONICS. "ALL-UNWANTED" IS JUST THE TITLE OF HIS MAKE-BELIEVE TEAM. KIND OF LIKE "ALL-MADDEN" -- DO YOU GENIUNELY THINK EVERYONE SELECTED IS A MADDEN (AND "ALL-MADDEN" AT THAT?) DO YOU RANT AND RAVE ABOUT IT?

THERE IS A LOT OF BAD SPORTS JOURNALISM, BUT THAT'S NO JUSTIFICATION FOR REALLY BAD SPORTS JOURNALISM CRITICISM.

Larry said...

I love the fact that he thinks he knows better then some of the smartest people on the planet that design and build these airplanes. I'm sure if they could make a computer restart the engines in mid flight they would have already done it.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for overreacting... man, my last post really makes me look as dumb as Easterbrook...

Chris W said...

"I would rather watch My Name Is Earl than continue to be subjected to this garbage."

A literal out loud laugh from cw

Chris W said...

"KIND OF LIKE "ALL-MADDEN" -- DO YOU GENIUNELY THINK EVERYONE SELECTED IS A MADDEN"

that's pretty funny.

Passive Voice said...

3.6666 turnovers

/lame

Jack M said...

Chris W,

I can't wait for your next blog: Things Chris W. Thinks Are Funny. Now I'll no longer have to live in fear not knowing when and when not to laugh at things.

Chris W said...

Jack M:

Can I also include "my favorite remixes of Paper Planes"?

Larry B said...

Ok, now I remember why we used to not allow anonymous or Anonymous to post here.

Go take a nap and come back when you're less fussy, asshole.

Larry B said...

Thanks to other Larry (no, not a pseudonym I use to post in support of myself, he is a totally separate reader) for pointing out what I meant in my anti-Gregg computer rant.

Jack M said...

Chris W,

Not your favorite, but what you consider to be the best. Big difference.

Chris W said...

in all cases, I would have to say the Weird Al remix.

Anonymous said...

"I'm sort of undecided about whether or not Tillman was a cool guy or not (there are certainly rumors that he was killed by intentional friendly fire, for what those are worth)."

This sentence is worse than any garbage Easterbrook has said. What's the point in that sentence? You don't know if he's a "cool guy or not"? You think he may have been killed intentionally? Are you kidding me?

Larry B said...

You didn't take your nap, did you? I said there are rumors that that's the case. Are they true? Probably not. Is their existence common knowledge? Yes.

Is my mind made up about whether or not Tillman should be regarded as an "American hero" or some shit like that just because he quit football and joined the army? No. I think the general public might make too big of a deal about him. But if the NFL wants to put something about him in their HOF, I promise you it's not for the reason TMQ listed. And that was the point of that part of the post.

GO TAKE YOUR NAP.

Larry B said...

Passive Voice- 11/3 = 3.75

Edward said...

Tillman should not be elected into the Hall of Fame. The Pro Football Hall of Fame is for the best football players, not the best overall people.

Have a special exhibit for Tillman in the museum section, but don't give him a bust. His game-related accomplishments just don't get him there.

Anonymous said...

I don't get your nap joke and I definitely don't get why a commentary about whether Tillman deserves to be in the HOF or not has anything to do with rumors or your opinion of whether he was a good guy or not? Why even bring it up?
Either you think he should be in the HOF for his off-field sacrifices or you don't think it's appropriate. There's not a right or wrong answer there.
But at no point did anyone ask you for your opinion on whether he was a good guy or how he died. Has nothing to do with the discussion. And I suspect your immediate defensiveness indicates you don't feel too great abou that reference either.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. Maybe I should take another nap.

CHart said...

"As a Christian, I believe in redemptive power, so I am willing to believe Qaddafi has changed."

Gregggg points out that as a Christian, he is forgiving. Bless his God-loving heart, he believes in redemption and wants the world to know that Qaddafi has changed! And then he wants to write an absurd skit painting Qaddafi has a evil, fundamentalist terrorist. But don't forget, as a Christian, Gregg will forgive all!

CHart said...

Also, anonymous, sack up. I got my start on this here blog by ripping all the shit that LarryB and Pnoles produce (and it's a TON of shit), but at least I put my name on it.

CHart said...

OMG, that last comment was left at 4:20. 4:20!!!!

Larry B said...

The nap joke is not a joke. You really seem like a fussy person who needs a nap.

Here's how it works, one more time: the point of including what Gregg said in this blog entry is to establish that IF the NFL puts him in the HOF in some way, shape, or form, it's NOT because the NFL is somehow a greedy bunch of assholes who want to "claim" or "capitalize on" his glory. IF that happens, it's probably just because the NFL wanted to honor him.

Me, personally? If I were in charge of the NFL, I'm not sure IF I'd even want to include him in the HOF, in any way, shape, or form, because of articles like this one. It matters to me whether or not he was a nice enough guy while serving to possibly get killed by his own people. IF he was a big enough jackass to them to the point that they killed him, THEN I don't think he is as worthy of being honored. (And to add an extra wrinkle, I'm against this war. So it's not like I'm skeptical about him because his views differed from mine. I just think that if you're going to join the army and go overseas, you probably shouldn't be pissing off your own people to the point that they kill you. Save the ideological questioning of the war until you get home.) You may not agree with that assessment, and feel like it's black and white and either he belongs or doesn't. That's your problem. I am comfortable with being unsure about it. So yeah, to me, whether or not he was a subjectively good guy does have something to do with it.

Anonymous said...

You're right. After getting my rest, I realized that I have been totally ignorant and overreacting. I really need to get a life.

Larry B said...

Good for you. We all need to get lives- I suggest starting a blog. Really gets things kicked into high gear.

Math is my life said...

3.66666
---------
3)11.00000
9
--
20
18
--
20
18
--
20
18
--
20
18
--
2

Chris W said...

professor Hahn, is that you?

dan-bob said...

That post lacked rigor.

Anonymous said...

Larry b, I hope you're joking. If you're not, you really, really don't get the whole "friendly fire" thing.

It is alleged that Tillman was accidentally gunned down by American troops who mistook an Afghani soldier standing near Tillman as an enemey and gunned both down. Noone has suggested that American troops murdered Tillman because he was an asshole. That is just stupid.

-different anonymous

Captain Murphy said...

Isn't it...Antoine Winfield? Maybe Antonio really wasn't signed as a free agent. Or maybe he doesn't exist, either one.

Chris W said...

"Different Anonymous":

You clearly didn't read the link Larry B posted.

Here it is again:

http://www.antiwar.com/justin/?articleid=11367

Geoffrey said...

"The facts in the Tillman case make friendly fire highly unlikely. He died from three bullet holes grouped together in his forehead, fired from a M-16 that was no more than ten yards away."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rj-eskow/truth-about-tillman-m_b_58952.html

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the conspiracy theory blog post from antiwar.com. Two things:

1) Clearly, if a blogger with a clear anti-war political agenda speculates that 1) American soldiers conspired to kill a fellow soldier because he was anti-war; and 2) the American government covered it up in an effort to propagandize the American public, there must be some merit to Pat Tillman being an asshole.

Here is a slightly less biased, and far more typical, explanation of the incident:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A444-2004May29.html

2) Even if the conspiracy theory is correct, it does not in any way support Larry b's speculative proposition, which is that Tillman's fellow soldiers killed him because he was a subjectively bad guy. The story in fact supports the exact opposite--that they killed him because he was a good guy and the fellow soliders were bad guys.

-different anonymous

Anonymous said...

Geoffrey,

That quote contains a flawed argument, so I can't even tell exactly what point you are trying to make.

The arrangement of the bullets has nothing to do with whether Tillman died from friendly fire. An American killed Tillman on purpose--noone is disputing that. The question is whether they did it mistaking him for someone else, of whether they did it knowing his identity.

That quote either contains an innacurate definition of "friendly fire" or it is simply a poorly constructed argument.

-different anonymous

Anonymous said...

Larry B-

By now three things should be clear:

1) More than one person is posting anonymously, so any sort of inside jab at one (take a nap) isn't going to make sense to the next one

2) For a guy that spends countless hours criticizing others' work (rightfully so in many cases), you may want to be a bit more receptive to criticism of your own opinions. If you fly off the handle / dig in your heels deeper over a few anonymous postings, how would you handle the constant stream of criticism those you target receive every hour?

3) In dissecting Easterbrook's point there really was no reason to theorize whether Tillman was intentionally killed or a bad guy. None of it matters -- no one was looking to rehash a debate on how he lived his life, who he pissed off, or how he died. The debate was much simpler than that -- whether or not the NFL HOF is an appropriate way to honor the sacrifice Tillman made. Surely critiquing hundreds of poorly written sports columns has demonstrated to you the downfall of extending a fairly meaningless question to a much broader issue. That's straight out of the Jemelle Hill school of journalism.

Anonymous said...

Here's another way of looking at:

FACT: Tillman made a sacrifice (NFL career and $$$$ for ultimately his life) few would make

UNIMPORTANT SPORTS QUESTION: Should Tillman be in the NFL HOF because of that sacrifice?

JEMELLE HILL WHAT THE ???? TWIST: How did he die? Was he a good guy? Are all heros necessarily good guys? Was he asking for it?

By the way, quote of the comments...some dude named "CHart" imploring someone to "sac-up" and not post anonymously. Okay..you can call me "Anon123"...much better now?

Martin said...

Who let the fucktards in?

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHA!!!! This site is like FJM for kids. Sweet fancy moses, that is some horrible writing, "Larry B," if that is your real name.

"CHart" calling people out for signing in as "Anonymous" -- the higest of comedy.

I'd give this site about a month. It's a short.

Chris W said...

Wow. What fucking sports site

a.) Linked this post

b.) Obviously gave a summary of the Tillman point, taking it out of context

?

Also, this just in: Apparently this site is like Fire Joe Morgan only unoriginal and not as good. Man, that had never occurred to anyone before some doober decided to let us in on that secret!

Larry B said...

Your points are well taken, other more thoughtful Anonymous. I don't really have time to address everything you say. I will say the following:

1) Not my problem (obviously) that me yelling at the dumb anonymous confuses other anonymouses (anonymousi?). Get a Google ID and comment with it. They're free.

2) Flying off the handle is what this blog is all about. I am a mild hypocrite regarding handling criticism, and I'm OK with that. (Additionally, if I were paid to express my sports opinions, I would be a lot more receptive to criticism, as basically everyone we go after on this blog is.) I also really don't think it's fair to say I was "flying off the handle" in the first place. Although I did a little name calling, I'm still responding to arguments and trying to explain myself. It's not just "NO UR STUPID AND GAY U SUCK GO DIE" or something. Besides, look at what earlier anonymous was writing. That dude would have tested Mother Teresa's patience.

3) Yes, re the Tillman, thing, let's just keep focus on how dumb it is of Gregg to accuse the NFL of trying to steal Tillman's glory or some dumbfuckery like that. My own analysis of the situation is obviously ill-informed and irrelevant, although that doesn't mean I'm not going to carefully speak my mind (by which I mean, pointing out that it's just a rumor, probably not true, doesn't really matter anyways, etc.). The real story here is Gregg, in the vein of his "Coaches that kick late field goals when they're losing are purely self-interested!" theory, thinks the NFL is somehow out to screw over Tillman's memory in the interest of making themselves look good. THAT'S the story here.

4) Jemele Hill would never ask those rhetorical questions you wrote about Tillman. She would merely note that he was white and write a long column asking why black soldiers don't get more attention.

5) How dare you compare me to Jemele Hill.

6) How fucking DARE you compare me to Jemele Hill.

7) If you give this blog a month, that'll be about three weeks longer than most people give it. We appreciate your dedication.

Larry B said...

What the hell is Fire Joe Morgan?

Larry B said...

At least we allow the annoying people who want to tell us we're wrong to do so in the comments.

pnoles said...

"Also, this just in: Apparently this site is like Fire Joe Morgan only unoriginal and not as good. Man, that had never occurred to anyone before some doober decided to let us in on that secret!"

Well now that this has been pointed out to us, maybe we should, you know, allude to that in the heading at the top of the page or something.

Passive Voice said...

Really hate to be that guy, but unless both my computer and I have completely lost the plot, 11/3=3.666 turnovers/game.

/still being lame

Martin said...

Damn, I've been visiting the site for like, 10 months, now I'm all confused if it's only going to last a month. Is that in dog years, reverse dog years?

Is it possible that all the Anonymouses are Archie, but he forgot his login password cause of all the meth?

Grats on all the extra blog hits though!

Djmmm said...

Do you mean Archie Micklewhite? He retired from the blog game many internet years ago, I think...

Tonus said...

"I'd give this site about a month."

For what? For it to become relevant or useful?

HAHAHA, JOKES ON YOU THEN!

Larry B said...

Passive Voice is right and I am retarded

CHart said...

Most commented article in FJM history? Also, I just noticed that Fire Jay Mariotti and Fire Joe Morgan are both FJM!! What a craaaaaaaazy coincidence.

Chris W said...

i think the post where i hate on the NBA playoffs had more posts

(The NBA playoffs are totally gay, in my opinion)

ICTimer said...

Why didn't you cover the batshit insane rant at the beginning about "Kurt Warner" the Tralfamadorian? That's what I did - it was far more ridiculous than anything in this article (but then again, Easterbrook is a terrible writer, so you can really just pick and choose any point in his articles to start).

Dafe said...

LarryB, dafe,
Posting to let you know I am an occasional reader/fan of firejay, and to comment belatedly on the airline reference. Point well made on the absurdity of the "computers" claim. To substantiate how ridiculous his post was I"d like to add a little bit. For the nerdy read on.
Actually there is almost certainly a flight computer that automatically restarts the engine under certain conditions, conditions that probably don't include massive ingestion of canadian geese. Not to mention that automatically pumping fuel (the only known way to start) into a engine that has suffered catastrophic failure (read about to explode) shouldn't make sense to even the ill-informed. Normally they would keep the engine shut down. The only reason the flight engineer tried a restart at all was because BOTH engines failed, and until this event successful "water landings" were as rare relevant Easterbrook metaphors. Oh and by the way, the pilot wasn't trying to remember the steps, he was READING them, from a checklist, because thats the point, of a checklist.

pnoles said...

....what?