Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Congratulations, Carol Slezak: With Mariotti Gone, You Are Officially the Dumbest Sun-Times Columnist.

Here's an article by Carol Slezak about how the Bears should go after Michael Vick.

Never mind the questions behind Mike Vick as an actual football player--a guy who still hadn't figured it out when he went away from football for two years. Never mind the fact that Chicago is probably not a good place for a QB who relies on a scrambling style of QB play. Never mind any of those things. I'm just interested in this:


About 2 years ago, Slezak had a snit-fit because the Bears drafted hip-hop hero G-Reg Olsen. Olsen is currently one of the few plus-players on the Bears, but as many of you know, he recorded a dope ass jam back in his days at The U as a member of the rap music outfit "The Seventh Floor Crew."

Carol was livid. How dare a team acquire a player who, as a twenty-year old, had written some risque, misogynistic rap lyrics? Never mind that Olsen had never been accused of breaking the law. Never mind that he apologized, right? I mean, if you do something truly horrible (like "get head" or "show her the third leg") how can you possibly hope to be forgiven for it?

Oh wait:

When considering Vick's future, let's not pretend the NFL is filled with perfect citizens. For every all-around good guy like Mike Brown, there's another Plaxico Burress or Pacman Jones or Tank Johnson waiting to be found out. Vick deserves a chance to resume his career. There will be strings attached, of course. Morals clauses and counseling sessions and whatever else the league or a team might ask for to cover its risk. But in all likelihood, Vick will get another chance somewhere. Why not here?

Let's not forget that he already has paid a huge price for his crimes. In addition to his loss of freedom, he has lost all his money. He was once the most popular athlete in Atlanta, but the Falcons have made it clear they want nothing to do with him. He was the kind of guy kids emulated. No longer. He has a lot of work ahead of him to rebuild his reputation in the community. But when it comes to the league, all that matters is whether he still can play. He deserves a chance to put his mistakes behind him.

What a fucking idiot this woman is.


cb said...

He deserves a chance to put his mistakes behind him ... as a McDonald's employee.

Chris W said...

I, personally, wouldn't begrudge Vick the chance to play NFL football (although I want the Bears to have NOTHING to do with him!).

Then again, I didn't write a column 2 years ago saying some non-felon shouldn't be allowed to play NFL football because of an offensive rap song he appeared on.

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese said...

I love the "posts that end" label. Posts that end are so much better than posts that go on forever like some song kids sing in the back seat on car trips.

Bengoodfella said...

I would never want to stop a team from signing Mike Vick, though I still have a hard time looking at him knowing what he did to those dogs. I just always hated Mike Vick because I thought he was overrated as a QB, though he could run. His career rating was 75.7 and his career completion percentage was 53%. I did just cherry pick those stats but other than his running numbers nothing really stands out about him. He was a great runner but I truly believe there are better quarterbacks out there for a team.

Of course someone will take a chance on him...but this hypocrite certainly doesn't want it to be the Bears.

Bengoodfella said...

I do also wish he would be subjected to a rape stand, dunked under water and/or thrown to the ground repeatedly, and then electrocuted if he did not throw a touchdown pass.

kclock said...

I hope to hear a Beat Burglars song about Carol Slezak real soon.

Chris W said...

@ VBC:

Blogger gypped me. It appears I have founded yet another one of my phantasmagorical labels that Larry B and Pnoles will rip off time and again.

Andy said...

If Mike Vick is still able to play football at a high level of effectiveness (which some would argue he never has), I have no problem with him being back in the NFL. Pac-man has been given umpteen chances now, Jamal Lewis set up a drug buy with his cell phone, Matt Jones got caught red handed (or is that white-nosed?), and they're all still playing. I don't see why he shouldn't be allowed to.

Chris W said...

I don't either Andy. But I sure don't see how letting Dogs kill themselves AFTER you've tortured them is a LESSER offense than being a college boy and rapping about fucking chicks.

Tonus said...

It would be perfect if Mike Vick cut a rap album in prison, then signed with the Bears. Carol Sleestak would suffer an aneurysm.

Chris W said...

If your prison bitch only know

dat he was getting raped in cell block 4

pnoles said...

Ahhh Carol Slezak...I haven't heard your name since Dollgate.

You know...the White Sox blow-up doll scandal.

You know...because it's "cool" to plug any item before "gate" when there's a scandal involved.

Whatever. I'm not here.

Chris W said...

Just what sports needs:

Someone to "speak" for her demographic.

No, not women. Easily offended douchebags.