Monday, January 19, 2009

Sorry For Interrupting....

I know I don't really live here anymore these days, but I've gotta drop by for a visit every now and then. It's partially because I miss all yous guys so very much, but don't flatter yourselves. It's primarily because Scott Merkin is a fuckdouche.

CHICAGO -- Brian Anderson looks at the White Sox roster in its current form and realizes there's a center-field job there to be won for the upcoming 2009 season...But Anderson doesn't have to be one of the men running the team to realize his chances to start aren't quite as likely as they would seem.

I hope to gawdalmighty that you're referring to the White Sox trading Brent Lillibridge for Grady Sizemore straight up (unfortunately, that makes an equal amount of sense to what he's about to say...).

The White Sox don't currently have a veteran leadoff hitter in their projected lineup, not necessarily a necessity, but certainly more than a luxury in Guillen's desired attack.

Definition of "leadoff hitter": The man who bats first in a baseball batting order.

We can only conclude that the White Sox will field a starting lineup that begins in the #2 slot.

With a healthy Jerry Owens fitting these job requirements

What the af=eawe-fkjlwef fitting WHAT job requirements?!?!!?!!?

fsdf-0qw3f2f32fZOMGZOMGhttp://www.321OBP.NOSLUG.TERRIBLE.edu

You just said that Jerry Owens fits the job requirements of a veteran leadoff hitter. Jerry Owens has logged 381 major league at bats. I am now going to enlist in the United States Navy, work on a laundry ship for 5 hours, quit somehow (the details are hazy on this part), then run around and claim to be a "veteran".

Jerry Owens was the primary leadoff hitter for the 2007 White Sox. The 2007 White Sox scored less runs than every team in the American League. Jerry Owens had a lower offensive VORP than every White Sox starter, including every member of the pitching rotation. But sure, go ahead Merkin, pencil him into that #1 slot. I predict the Chicago White Sox will finish at least 53.5 games back of the Minnesota Twins.

the fleet-footed leadoff hitter literally appears to have the leg up on both Anderson and DeWayne Wise in rounding out the White Sox outfield.

I want to know what happened between this year and last that catapulted Owens over Wise.....

We end with a quote from Brian Anderson.

"Nothing against guys who back up or spot start. If that's my role with the White Sox, I'm ready to do it again.

Okay....

But at 26 or 27, I'm just not ready to be a role player or come off the bench. Nobody is ready to do that at my age."

So you're ready to....but not ready to.....what?

6 comments:

Chris W said...

it makes me fucking sick that Ozzie "Brian Anderson punched my son so I'm never going to play him again no matter how much it hurts my baseball team that I'm paid to manage" Guillen is once again going to trot garbage out in CF instead of putting the best man on the field.

^^^longest nickname ever?

pnoles said...

It's pretty sad that the best man for the job can't hit righties worth shit.

But it's probably true.

Hell, I'm game for a Wise/Anderson platoon.

But no Owens.

Chris W said...

It is sad that the best man for the job can't hit righties for shit.

But of all the players on the team who can't hit for shit, Anderson can at least field his position.

Wise has no business in CF with any regularity.

KW needs to get a CFer who can field AND hit or explain to Ozzie that we just need to take our medicine with BA's bad bat, whether or not BA punched Ozney Guillen at a bar 3 years ago.

Edward said...

Owens: can't hit, below-average fielder, fast
Anderson: can't hit, superb fielder, OK speed
Wise: can't hit, terrible fielder, fast

Since Ozzie favors speed over all else, guess who the odd man out will be.

Sadness.

Chris W said...

You could conceivably amend Wise's to read

Wise: can sort of hit, terrible fielder, fast

or something like that.

Even so, I don't see how BA's not obviously, to all non idiots, the best option by far in CF. Which is, you know, a hugely defensive position.

pnoles said...

True. Wise can sort of hit. The difference between Wise and Owens is:

Wise: Modest power
Owens: Less power than Scott Podsednik.