Jemele Hill Check...

Unfortunately she hasn't been fired, and to the joy of our five readers, she's still writing piece of shit throwaway garbage.

A-Fraud: Give me Kobe over A-Rod any day

Pay-Rod, Slappy McSlapperson, Me-Rod, Gay-Rod, and now this???? How did Hill come up with A-Fraud? I can just imagine her sitting at the typewriter:

"Pay-Rod? Nah that's been done before. What rhymes with 'A?' Hmmmmmmm. Play? Pay? Gay? Nay? Nope. Let's try two syllables. Cache? Dismay? Buffet? Dang. What about three syllables? Disarray? Fish Filet? Puppet Play? Well, Fuck. Oh I know! I'll keep the 'A' and Rhyme something with 'Rod.' Facade? Nah... let's see..... AHA! I'll call him A-Fraud because he's not the real deal!"

Say what you will about Kobe Bryant, but at least he's not a mercenary who wants all of the money, but none of the pressure, and doesn't perform in the playoffs.

In other words, at least he's not Alex Rodriguez.

According to this, last year Kobe Bryant made 17.7 million in salary, 16 million in endorsements, for a grand total of 33.7 million. In the same time frame, A-Rod made 22 million in salary and 6 million in endorsements, totalling 28 million. And that's not even considering that A-Rod plays in an uncapped league and plays in twice as many games per year as Kobe.

Both players are generally viewed as selfish, whiny divas. But as we approach the unusual sports phenomenon of having the best player in baseball head to a new team and arguably the best player in basketball also potentially on the move, understand that A-Rod and Kobe are two very different creatures.


I'll take this Ford F-450 work truck over that Yamaha Crotch Rocket any day. But am I a Construction Foreman or a Yakuza henchman? Who cares?

A-Rod's decision to opt-out of New York is far more self-absorbed than Kobe's finagling to get out of Los Angeles.

Here's where the comparison completely falls apart. Yes both players are guys who seem to be consumed with padding their stat lines. Kobe is notorious for throwing up low chance lopsided jumpshots while being tripled covered. Even if Kobe has a %50 chance of making said shot, he's hurting his team by shooting instead of passing to an open player with an opportunity to make a higher percentage shot. A-Rod just gets lots of walks, hits, and plays above average defense. When he makes a play (which happens A LOT), he's helping his team every single time.

Or to quote this anonymous internet poster:

Baseball is great partially because it's the only sport where, on the field, every single player can be completely greedy and do what maximizes their personal value every single play and it's to the team's best interest. Every other sport is a zero sum game, where every shot you take is one your teammate doesn't--in baseball, every hit you get provides another opportunity. There's no clock besides individual failure. If Ayn Rand and Adam Smith fucked, she'd give birth to a baseball

Despite Kobe's flaws, we at least know he is consumed with winning championships. A-Rod is consumed with being A-Rod.

Maybe A-Rod wants to get out of New York because they have an aging, below average pitching staff on a team who made the playoffs this season entirely because of the merits of A-Rod and his 14 wins above replacement.

And what the fuck does "A-Rod is consumed with being A-Rod" even mean?

Kobe doesn't always demonstrate his aspirations maturely. It also can't be ignored that a key aspect of his championship ambitions is that he has to be the guy in the lead role. But if the worst you can say about Kobe -- whose competitive streak was cloned from Michael Jordan's -- is he no longer wanted to play alongside a once-dominant, but injury-prone center, it's not exactly a sign of the apocalypse. And considering some of the things that Lakers owner Jerry Buss has said about Kobe in recent weeks, we've seen that Buss is his own man -- if he really wanted to keep Shaq, he would have kept him. Buss' main concern was dumping another $100 million into the fourth Fu-Schniken.

Are you serious? Last time I checked, Shaq went on to win another title with Miami. "Hey don't fault the guy because he drove the other player who was largely responsible for all those championships out of town. He just wants to win. And also sell Nutella"

But does anything in A-Rod's history or demeanor suggest he's remotely obsessed with winning the way Kobe is? A-Rod seems more obsessed with being loved than winning. He wants all the perks, but none of the responsibility. He wants 100-plus RBIs, and to eventually be the home run king. Just don't expect him to bring any of the necessary intangibles it takes to win something meaningful.

This argument has been beaten into the ground. A-Rod has shown up in the playoffs. Several times before. It's not him out there pitching meatballs to David Ortiz and Travis Hafner. Give me Yadir Molina or David Eckstien any day. They know how to win!

Sounds like a perfect fit for the Chicago Cubs.

Get it? Because they haven't won a World Series in a really long time. The Cubs and their 100+ million payroll also definitely don't care about winning it all. Just like Buffet-Rod!

A-Rod isn't a leader, comes off as insecure and teams mysteriously seem better off when he's gone.

I'll take a 177 OPS+ hitting infielder over a "clubhouse leader" any day.

Also no mystery here:

2000 Mariners: Lost in ALCS (with a 101 Team ERA+)
2001 (post A-Rod) Mariners: Lost in ALCS (with a 118 Team ERA+)

2003 Rangers: 69 wins (team ERA+ of 88)
2004 (post A-Rod) Rangers: 87 wins (team ERA+ of 111)

So I guess A-Rod causes pitchers on his team to suck. That means we should expect a 120 ERA+ season from the 2008 Yankees.

The only thing Jemele has proved here is that she is mystified by the impact pitchers have on the success of baseball teams.

Kobe? The three-time champion thrives under pressure and the low opinions some people have of him.

How many championships has Kobe won since the rape accusations? Oh, none?

Kobe was criticized for brutally assessing the Lakers' lack of progress. But when A-Rod was a Yankee, the only thing that seemed to bother him was his own personal slumps.

Wouldn't you prefer a player who gets upset about losing more than a player who seems fine with it as long as he can stare at his pretty statistics and pay stubs? Can you blame Kobe for complaining about any plan that included passing on a skilled player who could help the Lakers in the present in favor of the long-term coddling of Andrew Bynum? Has A-Rod ever exhibited that kind of passion and determination? Has he ever given answers that didn't sound rehearsed?

I thought A-Rod said he'd take a pay cut to play for a winner? Once again, maybe he's sick of playing on teams who cannot put together a competent pitching staff. I think he's a bit greedy when it comes to his salary, but isn't the same true of Kobe? They're both the highest paid players in their respective sports.

Even if A-Rod somehow wound up playing for the world champion Red Sox -- and if you're listening Boston, adding this guy to your clubhouse is akin to putting Britney Spears on "Nanny 911" -- it would be difficult to interpret A-Rod's actions as that of a man driven to win.

Jemele made it three quarters of the way through this column without making an awkward pop culture reference. Of course it wouldn't be a Jemele Hill column without at least a couple of FOX reality shows/pet rock/Celebrity DUI comparisons thrown in for good measure.

A-Rod, of course, has the right to chase as much money as he wants. It's not his fault if the market dictates he earn an astronomical figure. There's no denying there were times he was unfairly brutalized in New York. The stalking by the tabloids was unacceptable, as was the fascination with his personal life. But the problems he had there will follow him into his next clubhouse.

I can't wait for two things:

1) The yankees finish with 80 wins in 2008 and miss the playoffs
2) A-Rod is appreciated in his new city for his eye-popping, guaranteed to improve whatever team he plays on performance.

It's fair to accuse A-Rod and Kobe of being types who can't operate in a locker room unless they control it.

The difference is, there've been signs that Kobe has outgrown some of that. A-Rod doesn't seem like he ever will.

One thing I can assure you, dear reader, is that Jemele Hill will never make a well written argument based on real facts instead of baseless accusations.