We're Back Like a Fucking Vertebrae

It's been a few days. Sorry about that. The Google Analytics shows that people definitely stop coming here when we don't post, so I'm here to fix that. Hopefully. And who better to make our first post in 96 hours about than our old friend Dayn Perry? He's here to talk about how awesome Joe Torre is. I'm here to make fun of his attempts to do so. Am I anti-Torre? Not really. Am I pro-Torre? Again, no. I'm just tired of bad sports journalism.

Torre signing a good first step for Dodgers

Obviously, landing a first-rate manager like Torre gives the Dodgers instant credibility and a steady hand in the dugout. There's no questioning Torre's credentials, and when it comes to leading a contender to greater glory, his track record is unassailable.

Like I said, I'm not anti-Torre, but I wouldn't call his track record "unassailable." Taking three straight 90+ win teams to the playoffs and subsequently winning a grand total of four games with them is a bit of a blemish. No, those losses weren't necessarily Torre's fault (because he is a a baseball manager, not a baseball player). But the Yankees' playoff successes in the late 1990s also weren't really of his doing either. If writers like Perry want to trump up Torre's credentials and claim that he's a proven winner or some such bullshit, that's fine. But they can't do so without acknowledging that his teams have stunk in the playoffs since th 2004 ALCS, too. You can't have it both ways. Torre's track record has some incredible successes. It also has some miserable failures. Really, I would say the most impressive thing he's done in his career was put up with Steinbrenner for as long as he did.

Torre's also a highly adaptable sort. During his tenure in New York, the Yankees had a reputation for larding the roster with high-salary veterans. That's certainly true to an extent, but Torre showed a willingness to work younger talents into the mix. For instance, on Torre's watch youngsters like Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, Ramiro Mendoza, Alfonso Soriano, Nick Johnson, Robinson Cano, Chien-Ming Wang, Melky Cabrera, Philip Hughes and Joba Chamberlain all played vital roles. It's a skill that will serve him well in Los Angeles.

How lucky are the Dodgers right now? Wow... a manager that uses talented young players? Where else are you going to find one of those? Yes, I realize that overutilization of crappy veterans was one of Grady Little's downfalls. But among MLB quality managers, Little is the exception rather than the rule in that department. Managers of teams at every talent level across baseball utilize their up-and-comers. It's really not that unheard of. I don't see the fact that Torre managed like 10 good young players in 12 years in New York as reason to tout his abilities.

Overall, signing Torre means the Dodgers make a splash and position themselves as serious contenders in the down-cycled NL.

It means they have a different guy handing the lineup card to the umpires than they did last year. It does not mean they have any new players to add to that lineup card.

Specifically, the rotation figures to be a strength

Offensively, the Dodgers badly need better production from third base and center field

If LaRoche adapts as expected, he'll fill the third-base void

To that end, Andruw Jones, Torii Hunter or even the suspended Mike Cameron

Of course, with Torre comes the Alex Rodriguez speculation

Needless to say, he'd be a great fit in L.A

It's speculation at this point, but the Dodgers certainly have the coffers

If they do land Rodriguez, they'll immediately become

I'm no English major, but hey Dayn: you might want to think about varying your sentence structure a little but. Just a thought.

On the whole, nabbing Torre is a great thing for the Dodgers. However, they're not going to climb the standings in baseball's toughest division unless they're among the most active teams over the winter. Otherwise, Torre and his new employers are going to wind up disappointing one another.

What an awkward conclusion. Dayn is simultaneously implying that A) Torre will be mad at the Dodgers if they don't make some moves to improve their team and B) that the Dodgers will be mad at Torre if he doesn't help them win with the same players the team had last year. What?

He also admits that hiring a new manager doesn't do much to ensure that a team will become better, basically defeating the purpose of writing the article in the first place. I wonder if that was an accident.