Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Haters Are Back!

It's great to finally see some negative comments in my post from last Monday. To all you haters and crybabies: your tears are delicious. See, we hadn't had any good, solid negativity around here in quite some time (the last good comments I remember were from the guy way back in late 2008 who was horrified that I was making fun of Vince Young... man, those were hilarious) and obviously they reflect a desire from some readers for us to either write better or write more often. While I can't promise I will try to do either of those things, I will promise that I will try to try to do both. The last month or so has probably been the busiest of my entire adult life, culminating with the insanely busy weekend that's wrapping up as I type this. So from here on out I should have a few more posts per week going up.

I'm so giddy about those negative comments that I'm actually going to briefly respond to them. To the anonymous guy who says that Miller is actually pronouncing Beltre's name correctly in Spanish- which language is the broadcast in? If it's in English, and the AP has released a pronunciation guide which is meant to inform English-speaking broadcasters how to say players' names, and that guide says that BEL-tre is correct, then yes, you dipshit. Yes I want the English pronunciation. To the other guy who has a fork up his ass about who knows what, you're right. I didn't get to that longer post. I'm still going to do it, probably this week. You'll get by with or without it. Also, if you come here regularly, you'd know that KSK is probably my favorite blog. I reference it somewhat regularly. On the other hand Deadspin can kiss my pasty white basement-dwelling cock. It's great for silly videos and pop sports news, but the editorials and comments are abysmal. Deadspin could disappear tomorrow and I wouldn't shed any tears about it. So yeah, you're probably the kind of person who would fit in just fine as a regular commenter there (assuming you aren't one already).

Ah, that felt nice. Sincerely, though- feel free to post hateful comments whenever you want. Keeps things interesting around here, especially when we're not posting much.

I suppose at this point I should say something quasi-substantive so that this isn't just a meta-post. I have very little time before my eyelids involuntarily close themselves so I will say this: you know how much I like to bitch about announcers talking about football players making football plays on football fields for their football teams in big football games? Dear sweet Lord in heaven, golf announcers might have them beat in the race to annoy the shit out of me by repeatedly saying unnecessary shit. I never watch golf so the hour of the final round of the Masters I checked in on today was a harrowing experience. I got to hear all about golfers using their golf clubs on the golf course to make golf shots.

That was just a great golf shot.

As opposed to what? The fuck else might you be talking about? A bocce shot? A tennis shot? The shot at kicking his gambling problem that Phil Mickelson waited oh so long to take? I was so angry I almost kicked my TV right where I imagine its taint would be. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up. You don't sound smart, informed, or sophisticated when you call a shot made by a golfer a "golf shot." You sound like you have a learning disability. Although I suppose I should just be happy they didn't constantly refer to golf shots as "dynamic." (See above link re football players wearing football pads playing football with a football football.) Am I right about this though? Is "golf shot" not fucking absurd? Of course it is.

Actual post coming later this week! Maybe! Who the fuck knows!


rich said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rich said...

How dare you not post more on your site! I mean, despite the fact I came to here of my own accord, I waste 30 seconds of my life to notice you haven't posted anything!

I know you live in your mom's basement, so you have no excuses. Did the exterminator come to take care of the rat problem? Is that why you haven't posted? You had to move in with your grandma who doesn't know what the internet is? Ya, that sounds about right.

Oh and leave Vince Young alone! He's so good. Never mind Chris Johnson's increase workload during their winning streak. It was all Vince!

/end sarcasm/

Seriously, how do people not read what they've written and go "holy shit I sound retarded"?

Elliot said...

Since Tiger's back now, they might have been referring to a penicillin shot. I appreciated the clarification.

Tonus said...

That was a nice touch, acting as if you have a real life to deal with.

Anonymous said...

Didja know that in the golf game with the golf players taking the golf shots, the golf player who won the golf game was the guy who took time away from golfing to care for his sick wife, and the golf player who lost took time away from golfing because he was a dirty, dirty sex addict!!!

(Thank the "golf gods" Easterbrook doesn't do a fucking golf column!)

Chris W said...

most of the shots I take whilst playing golf couldn't possibly by any stretch of the imagnation be called golf shots

Dylan Murphy said...

Welcome back to the real/more important world.

Biggus Rickus said...

While I agree with the 'golf shot' on the 'golf course' with a 'golf club' by a 'golf-playing man' stuff, I find the use of 'golf' as a verb to be charming. Like, "He golfed his ball well there." Why don't announcers do that more?

Cs said...

I think the term "golf shot" to golfers has some added meaning. Golf is an adjective there evoking some intangible quality that can only be described with the word "golf". Hard to explain.

Fred Trigger said...

As a golfer I can say that I have never said "Nice golf shot.". Its always "nice shot". Not sure why they feel the need to add "golf" in front of it.

KentAllard said...

"you know how much I like to bitch about announcers talking about football players making football plays on football fields for their football teams in big football games?"

Bob Davie should drive you close to suicide, then.

Adam said...

Jon Gruden is doing golf broadcasts now?