MORE BREAKING NEWS, SO BREAKING IT WAS ALREADY BROKEN AN HOUR AGO

Ah, July 2009. Those were the good ol' days, when life moved just a little bit slower. When men were men. When a shave and a haircut only cost you two bits. When PNoles made the apt point that a certain 4-letter sports network doesn't seem to understand that "news isn't news if something hasn't actually happened."

So since we're alrady reminiscing about those glorious days gone by and the lessons we learned from them, I'd like to report that Chris "never actually breaks a story, just steals so-called breaking news from other sources" Mortensen is reporting that the AP is reporting that Al-Jazeera is reporting that Jay Glazer is reporting that Tony Dungy said recently that Michael Vick "thinks he may be able to get a tryout with an NFL team sometime in the near future."

We're on the cutting edge here, people. Check back for more thrilling Vick updates every five minutes because we'll have them as soon as they hit the wire. Breathe into a paper bag if you get so excited you start hyperventilating.