Thursday, October 6, 2011
Like Chris W says, fuck sports. I don't watch sports for the sports. I watch them for the sidestories and other assorted drama! Turned on Sportscenter this morning for no apparent fucking reason. After seeing the "up next" sidebar, decided to start timing the segments. Here are the results listed in the order in which the segments appeared.
WHO WILL SIGN TERRELL OWENS??? AMERICA NEEDS TO KNOW BECAUSE HE IS NOT AT ALL WASHED UP: 1:45
Cardinals/Phillies: 3:36 (about 1:00 of which was dedicated to the squirrel that ran on the field at one point, lol, animals doing stuff!!!!!)
Brewers/Diamondbacks: 1:57 (including Chris Berman calling Ryan Roberts' grand slam live, God, just shoot me in the fucking face)
Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers "controversy": 3:27
At that point I was thinking that ESPN should go straight to hell. And then they totally redeemed themselves by letting Herm Edwards and Bobby Valentine yell at each other about whether baseball or football is better for 30 seconds. Then they topped that by having Tim Kurkjian do a 45 second tongue in cheek report about various times throughout baseball history squirrels have run on the field. Best line: "This is the first time a squirrel has run on the field during two consecutive postseason games since 1920." Thanks Tim.