Saturday, April 11, 2009

After Careful Consideration, Dayn Perry Decides that Winning is Good

Have you been wondering which MLB teams "need" to get off to a fast start this season? Here's the answer!

First, the painfully obvious.

Why are you writing it then? And leading your article with it, no less?

Look over baseball's six divisions and wild-card races and you'll find few clear favorites.

You can all see where this is going.

The Yanks, Red Sox or Rays in the AL East? The Dodgers, Snakes or even Giants in the NL West? Mets, Braves or Phillies? Heck, you can make a case for any team in the AL Central. And that's to say nothing of the crowded wild-card frays. In fact, only the Cubs stand as clear divisional favorites. Likely, this will result in quite a few close races, and that means every game — for every contender — will be important.

So a good half, maybe even 2/3 of all teams, are "contenders." And all contenders must get off to good starts. Thus, nearly everyone must win games early in the season. This level of analysis is hurting my brain- did Joe Morgan ghost write this?

The silly emphasis on the September stretch drive

First time I've ever heard it described as silly. Mets fans might not agree.

obscures a vital fact: The games in April count just as much as the games in September.

The cliches are beginning to pile up- everyone get out while you still can!

If a team blows the division by a single game, then that 9-2 yawner of a loss in April is as much to blame as the white-knuckled 4-3 defeat on the season's final day.

(Larry B takes out abacus, plays with the beads in a meager attempt to confirm this crazy mathematical theory)

With so many tight races ahead, the playoff hopefuls can't afford slow starts.

By which you mean pretty much no one can afford a slow start. Other entries on Dayn's "Can't afford a slow start" list- pitchers, hitters, guys who are mostly used as defensive replacements, managers, umpires, and beer vendors.

I've heard more relevant analysis from players and coaches who get interviewed during their jog into the locker room at halftime of a football or basketball game.


Venezuelan Beaver Cheese said...

I wish I could get paid to write an article that said nothing. To think it was just two seasons ago that the Cubs, Rockies and Phillies all got off to slow starts and made the Playoffs.

Chris W said...

Dayne Perry is the reason I didn't buy the Baseball Prospectus book about demystifying the nuts and bolts of baseball. I forget what it was called. He had an essay featured in it. I thought to myself: "Whoever edited this book can't possibly know shit about baseball if they let that knowledge-less freak be in their book."

Tonus said...

1998 New York Yankees record after five games: 1-4

They sure did regret that meaningless 10-2 loss to the Angels in April.

Biggus Rickus said...

Teams also need to not slump in the summer months and not collapse in September. Slumping and collapsing are something losers do. I didn't read the article, so I'm curious. Was the word 'momentum' used on more than two non-consecutive occasions?