Monday, March 23, 2009

Inscrutable Throwaway Jokes and the Sportswriters that Love Them

Article about the WBC by Scott Miller. Not a bad article but get a load of this.

While nobody doubts the commitment of Team USA members such as David Wright, Derek Jeter, Jimmy Rollins and Jake Peavy, the vast majority of folks this side of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans still view this event as something to be avoided, like spinach.

Emphasis mine. Is this a reference to the E. Coli spinach scare of like, two years ago? Or is it a reference to the fact that kids think spinach is yucky? I don't really know, nor do I care. It's not funny.

But since we haven't had reader participation (or, for that matter, readers) in a long time, here's our chance. What should Scott Miller have said instead of "like spinach"? I'll get it started with a few:

--like inoperable cancer

--like a fat guy with a tuba

--like an all-night Uwe Boll marathon

--like American children avoid geography class (stupid Americans...heh heh)

--like Obama avoids iceberg lettuce

--like the reckoning wrath of the spear of mighty Achilles

Ok your turn!


Jarrett said...

--like Jeff Pearlman avoids sending Larry B advance copies of his books.

Tonus said... a Jay Mariotti column.

Jack M said... John Daily's thong wrangler!

dan-bob said...

... like similes.

Anonymous said...

like a fat chick with herpes

Anonymous said...

Like simmons "readers"

Biggus Rickus said... that annoying guy at work who corners you to tell you boring stories about his dogs, making you want to stab him just to shut him up, which you know will end badly for you since that kind of thing is illegal, but man would it feel good in the moment.

or rape.

pnoles said... spinach

Anonymous said...

- like AIG avoids profits (topical)

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese said...

--like Ross Gload in a fantasy draft

--like Gregg Easterbrook avoids fractions

--like ESPN in general

Anonymous said... a Special Olympian avoids the PBA