Sometimes I'm just cruising around teh interwebs, not intending for find material for FireJay, when I stumble onto garbage like this (from the AP rundown of the Missouri/Marquette game today):
For four unbelievable minutes early, Kim English turned the basketball court in Boise into his own private Idaho.
During two excruciating free throws late, it was his personal little pressure cooker.
Jesus Christ, did Bill Plaschke tell him to write like that? Hey, asshole: just tell us what happened during the game. Don't try to be all fucking fancy and clever. There's a reason you're working the AP sports beat. It's because you're not good enough to get a better gig. If I want to hear a poetic and flowery take on the game, which I don't/won't, I'll tune in to "Around the Horn" tomorrow.
Oh, and "My Own Private Idaho" sucked.