Sorry about the lack of posts. I've been trying to, like, go outside and shit. Play some baseball. (Well, softball.) Do stuff besides write a blog. Feel the infield dirt between my fingers. Listen to the sound the bat makes when it hits the ball. Move runners over. Lay down bunts. Steal bases, even though that's not legal in softball. Play the game the right way. Talk to a woman without having to give her my credit card number. And let me promise you: I have been extremely uncomfortable doing those things. Back to the basement for me. What's that, Bill? You're using your sphincter as a mouth again?
Now that we're a mere 53 days away from the start of the 2012 Patriots
19-0 victory party NFL season,
2. Brees was headed for the first defensible contract holdout in the recent history of team sports.
3. Did you really want to read fantasy football previews that had an asterisk next to Brees? Did you really want to do Chase Daniel research? Did you really want some asshole in your league to take a fourth-round flier on Brees, then luck out five days later when Brees signed? Or conversely, did you really want to pick Brees, then have him torture you for the first weeks of the season?
4. The bad news: They announced the contract on Friday the 13th. That's a terrible idea. I wouldn't even buy one of those 27-inch LCD TVs from those weird companies that you've never heard of at Best Buy on Friday the 13th.
5. The good news: Brees's contract guarantees him $60 million ... a million less than the Nets guaranteed Brook Lopez this week. I think this cancels out the Friday the 13th thing — when you're paying your franchise QB a million less than the "good" Lopez, you have to feel good about that.
6. What's worse than reading about someone's contract holdout every day?
And if it's not fun and it doesn't lead to obnoxious, blithering PTI-style banter and it doesn't involve Greg Steimsma, BILL DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. MOVE ALONG, NON-STEIMSMA STORIES.