Thursday, June 21, 2012


Reasonable minds can disagree.  But in my opinion, if you'd rather a team owned by a card-carrying asshole and played for by at least five card-carrying jerks (Westbrook, Ibaka, Collison, Fisher, Perkins) win a title over LeBron, U MAD.  Go Heat.  I certainly hope they never win another with this nucleus, but this one was deserved and enjoyable.  And fuck the Thunder and their basketball hipster fans in the earhole.

Also, as I typed this, we returned from commercial and were all treated to the following:

PA Announcer: And now ladies and gentlemen, direct your attention to center court for the presentation of the Larry O'Brien trophy and the Bill Russell MVP trophy...  PLEASE WELCOME STUART SCOTT!!!!

That has the same ring to it as "Ladies and gentlemen, you asked for them, you got them... NICKELBACK!!!"  And I'm not going to link to it, but I hope you saw it on Grantland a month or two ago; surprise among surprises, Klosterman thinks Nickelback is SECRETLY SUPER UNDERRATED.  What a chode.  Now let's get the mic to Stuart so he can buttfuck his way through the simple line he had days and days to rehearse.

SS:  Thank you.  Here to present the Larry O'Bryphen trophy

Cue up my main man Carl.

... Larry O'Brien trophy... David Stern.

Which is kind of like Nickelback introducing Jay Mariotti.  Also worth noting that Stern thanked "the wonderful fans of South Florida."  As my first few sentences make clear, I was rooting for Miami in part because OKC's fans are a bunch of entitled dust bowl fatsos who were born on third and think they hit a triple (in the context of sports fandom).  But whoa, UH OH, let's not get carried away with praise for Miami's worthless/barely existant fans.  Stern's use of "wonderful" there reminds me of Louis CK's bit.

Also, I know Chris W was counting, and unfortunately this year the NBA playoffs only lasted 55 days.


Gulag said...

I was disappointed when James Harden's beard didn't immediately wilt and fall off when the game ended. Kinda like Cinderella's coach turning back into a pumpkin at midnight. But more awful-looking.

Slade said...

I would argue that OKC's fans proved they were ready for primetime with their performance when the Hornets came to town. Blame that imbecile Howard Schultz for the Sonics leaving, call Bennett a card-carrying asshole (I won't disagree), but calling OKC's fans "entitled dust bowl fatsos" is a little unfair. They didn't exactly ask for the situation to happen the way it did, but they've proven that they will support the team.

Larry B said...

They certainly do a good job of supporting their team, I would never say they don't. The ones I know, however, are still super obnoxious about 1) the fact that they're good at supporting their team 2) the fact that their team was built "the right way" i.e. through the draft i.e. the same way like 75% of the teams in the league are built. They have this odd and undeserved superiority complex. They act like Yankees fans do, despite the fact that their team has existed for all of 4 years. Also, given the fact that their team is from Oklahoma, I'm willing to bet that a good number of them are total fatsos. Full disclosure, I am a Nuggets fan.

Slade said...

Fair enough, and I'll grant that I can completely understand the hatred if they act like that. I just got sick of the whining about how Seattle got shafted. Sucks that it happened, but now that they're trying to do the same thing to the Kings, I have no sympathy.

Adam said...

Seems like there were plenty of OKC people who were happy to jump on board with screwing a larger city because they felt like they were entitled to a pro team, you know for the 43rd ranked metropolitan area by population.