Monday, January 24, 2011

Deadspin Writers Continue to Be Clueless Douchebags

Well at least it's not Petcheskey this time.

Here's the article in its entirety:

Jay Cutler Is Tougher Than The Toughest Tough Guy, Say Tough-Talking Defenders Of His Toughness

It's been almost a full day since Jay Cutler's mopey face and medial-collateral ligament severity and tears were dissected by every human who's ever watched football, I'm still stuck on this question: Is Jay Cutler TOUGH?

Wow. Daulerio sure stuck it to those Bears players defending Cutler. Talk about morons, those players. Why would they even be commenting on Cutler's toughness? It's not like Jay Cutler has been villanized for being gutless and a pussy for coming out of the game early in the third quarter after tearing his MCL in the first half. Literally no one has been questioning Cutler's manhood or competitive drive at all in the last couple days, so it makes no sense that Bears players would speak to his toughness.

They must just be wimpy dudes who are trying overcompensate by making the Sunday afternoon Bears-Packers game all about toughness when it clearly was not an issue of "toughness" or "heart" at any point in time. The players that is. The media would never do anything like that because if we know one thing about sports writers and tv sports personalities and writers for half-assed tabloid blogs full of pictures of bikini babes and hookup-gone-wrong stories masquerading as sports-centric, it's that they're totally secure in their masculinity.

Right?

16 comments:

Biggus Rickus said...

I was hoping for a thorough takedown of some retarded column calling Cutler a pussy, but I hate Daulerio so this works. I'll probably regret getting into politics, but complaining about the Bears and others defending Cutler is like complaining about conservatives who defended Palin when she was blamed for the Tucson shooting.

Chris W said...

I'm a Palin hater by all means, but I still think your analogy is 100% apt.

Jack M said...

Let's just agree that everyone who's ever played through any sort of injury can testify to the fact that Cutler is the biggest va-jay of all time.

Adam said...

Agreed. I once played a pickup basketball game at the rec center with a cut on my finger so clearly Jay Cutler is a huge snatch.

Chris W said...

That's nothing compared to the time I played Goldeneye with a bunion.

If I cant assassinate Odd Job, Cutler can outmaneuver Clay Matthews

Anonymous said...

Not sure if any of you heard Trent Dilfer's take on the Cuutler injury saga on NFL Live last night. He was an even bigger asshole about it than I imagined he possibly could be, even going as far as to say "I have had 2 torn MCL's. I know the kind of pain Jay Cutler was in. But you would have had to drag me off the field in a game like that." They then go on to show footage of Cutler's last dropback and claim that it shows Cutler wasn't hurt too severely because he dropped back from under center without a significant limp. What garbage!

Dilfer's hatred for Cutler by now is well-documented, but this was pretty much the last straw as far as I'm concerned. The irresponsible nature that ESPN has shown covering this is fucking pathetic, and for Deadspin to piggy-back off that and mock the Bears for standing up for Cutler is equally stupid.

Tonus said...

Didn't Ditka also go the "you'd have to drag me off the field" bit? Ditka's got a rep as a tough as nails player/coach/ED victim, but that line tends to bug me. Yeah, I sprained an ankle once, and I can tell you that I'd definitely have stayed in that game if I was Jay Cutler. What a pussy!

Chris W said...

Ditka did say something like that, but he also said that the critics of Cutler are "demented" or something like that. It's hard to really get a read on what Ditka's opinion of the situation is.

Chris W said...

@ Anon: If anyone's an expert on playing in championship games as a star QB, it's Trent Dilfer!

Chris W said...

To clarify: Trent Dilfer passed for 150 yards in his only Super Bowl appearance. Good thing he's such a tough gamer. If he'd have gotten injured and came out, the Ravens never would have recovered from that!!!!

Daniel said...

One other thought about Trent Dilfer trying to parallel his MCL injuries with Jay Cutler.

This came from a guy whose career QB rating was lower than David Carr and Tony Banks (or #124 al-time).

While he said he was able to keep playing, I'm remiss to think how much more effective a one-legged Trent Dilfer could be over a healthy Caleb Hanie.

SOB in CA said...

Ditka never let a substitute do his banging for him.

Chris W said...

My favorite comment on this subject came from some NFL offensive lineman, who said something along the lines of, "It's easy to be tough with other people's injuries"

Or, you know, something like that.

Alex said...

For what it's worth, I played soccer on an ACL tear years ago. I didn't even know it was an ACL tear until I just got fed up of going down with pain and watching my knee swell into a medium sized pink grapefruit.

Biggest most retarded idiotic thing I ever did. Well, going and tearing my other ACL was the biggest.

Basically, no ACL you have no knee. He didn't prove squat to me.

Alex said...

Sorry for the non-sequitur at the end of my comment. I had mentioned Philip Rivers but decided against it and neglected to erase the last line.

Adam said...

Chris,

I think that was Barry Cofield and it was "It's easy to be tough with somebody else's body".


Ditka talks out of both sides of his mouth. Nationally he did the whole "you'd have to drag me of the field" routine, but locally he said "I know he did not quit on his team".