Monday, September 6, 2010

Here's What I'm Burning On

Typing that headline made me realize I could probably generate a nice little side conversation, independent of the subject matter of this post, by publicly and proudly stating that I am a huge fan of Jim Rome. (Moreso of The Jungle than of JRIB.) I'm sure some of your jaws are on the floor, but it's true. While I can sort of see why he annoys some sports fans, he sure as hell doesn't annoy me. The guy rules. Unlike the vast majority of the writers/broadcasters we complain about here, he's 1) original, 2) entertaining, and most importantly 3) he doesn't take himself too seriously. Reasonable minds can differ about this- actually no, scratch that. They can't. If you don't think Jim Rome is awesome then you are wrong. Discuss in the comments if you must.

Anyways, here's what's grinding my gears tonight. Sorry this isn't a real post- I'll do something with Simmons or Easterbrook later this week.

First of all, during the 4th quarter of tonight's Boise State/VaTech game, some dipshit in the booth praised Boise (which had just taken a 33-30 lead) for being so "courageous." Oh, did I not identify the dipshit? Well since the game was nationally televised on ABC, I'm sure that even if you didn't watch you knew it was Musburger. What a fucking no-talent clown the guy is. Nothing in the realm of terrible announcing is worse than when broadcasters try to invent a story/angle that isn't there. No, Boise didn't come back from a 4th quarter deficit and win the game because they're really good at football and played slightly better than VaTech did- no, of course not. It was all about courage. And heart, and believing in yourself, and wanting it more, and leaving it all on the field. Motherfucking Musburger. You're atrocious, sir. Fire yourself.

Second of all, fuck ESPN (and all the national media outlets, really) for pandering to the mongoloid masses who think baseball is a dumb boring pussy sport for homosexuals and saturating the airwaves with football coverage while sweeping baseball coverage/highlights under the rug for the past four weeks. Yes, I understand that NCAAF and the NFL are more popular than MLB. No, I don't think that should mean that the first five stories on Sportscenter on Labor Day (Boise/VaTech, Dennis Dixon will start for the Steelers, Mark Ingram is still injured, Darrelle Revis decided to stop being an asshole and sign a contract, and yes, some fucking bullshit about Favre than I changed the channel on) should be exclusively about football.

Zero NFL regular season games have been played this year. NCAAF is barely underway. Meanwhile, the MLB season is 85% over and every division except the AL West and the NL Central has a great race going on. Fifteen teams are still in serious playoff contention. (Isn't it parity that fuels the NFL's popularity?) And ESPN treats it like the WNBA. Speaking of which, I just heard a promo for the WNBA finals, which start this weekend. Set your DVRs now! Anyways, this just frustrates the hell out of me.

I've made this same point about ESPN's constant worship of the Yankees and Red Sox- yes, they have to appeal the masses to an extent. If the masses want meaningless NFL content, they should get it, to an extent. But ESPN is also powerful enough to shape fans' leanings and interests. They're not just appealing to Yankees/Red Sox/"football only" fans- they're also making more of them by ignoring not the Yankees/not the Red Sox/MLB. It's pretty pathetic. But then again, as Chris W explained to me earlier tonight, there are plenty of people out there who just can't watch something unless it involves dudes hitting one another. (See: ESPN's ever-expanding MMA coverage.) So you're not going to reach those people with baseball coverage. After all, it's a dumb boring pussy sport for homosexuals. Hey, I enjoy NCAAF and the NFL a ton. I follow the NFL 95% as closely as I follow baseball, and NCAAF 80% as closely. I just don't fucking understand why Sportscenter starts scheduling its coverage as if baseball doesn't exist starting in mid-August. DURRRRRRRRR WHAT DID BRETT SAY TODAY? AND HOW ARE BEN'S TEAMMATES FEELING ABOUT HIM? I NEED CONSTANT UPDATES ON THIS, NO BASEBALL HILITES PLZ, JUST MORE REPORTS FROM ED WERDER AND RACHEL NICHOLS

/baseball fan elitism

I hope the NFL misses its 2011 season with a lockout. There, I said it.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on your website by accident, but will definitely be back. You are hilarious, pointed, and genius. Thanks for the commentary and the laugh!

Chris W said...

Unwar ESPN's baseball coverage, especially Baseball Tonight which should probably just be called "Teams we like and lots of hype Tonight"

Thank God for the MLB Network and my main man HR

Biggus Rickus said...

If I might use your namesake to refute your Rome point: Gamers. Yes, it's old, but it's pretty common based on my limited experience with Rome's show.

As for ESPN, that's why I don't watch Sportscenter. They drive the stories they want to drive, which far too often involves off-the-field drama about which I could not give less of a shit.

rich said...

The funny thing about the Boise State game is that Musburger spent the entire first quarter and a half talking about how young and inexperienced the VTech team was.

Then two quarters later I'm supposed to think it's "courageous" that Boise State ran a nice drive with no timeouts and 2 minutes left? They're the higher ranked team for fucks sake.

But you know who was really courageous? That dumbass who got the running into the kicker penalty to allow VTech to take the lead. Courage!

Elliot said...

Jim Rome promotes MMA wayyyyy more than ESPN.

Chris W said...

Jim Rome's ON ESPN!!!! :-o

I will say this Ruckus--if you're going to The Jungle for sports ANALYSIS you're kind of missing the point.

You go there for Jolene's Mama jokes.

Anonymous said...

i actually like jim rome. i used to listen to his show a lot. but his fans are so fucking annoying. they're about 10 times worse than simmons' fans. they call up with their pre-written "takes" where they try to sound like some bad-ass rome clone, and hope to get "racked" by their idol, rome. i'm sure they still do this (i haven't listened in a few years), but the worst was the "smack-off" they used to have. the entire show was just established callers calling up again with pre-written takes, but not even about sports. they were just talking shit to other callers. dumbest shit i've ever heard.

Biggus Rickus said...

Chris W,

Mama jokes are the height of comedy, true.

Adam said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels that way about ESPN and their football coverage. Nothing infuriates me more than turning to ESPN in fucking June and seeing NFL LIVE or COLLEGE GAMEDAY.

The NFL has the most boring offseason of any sport because nothing really happens. Yet ESPN treats it like the most important thing in sports. Like anybody with a brain cares about what is happening with any team's OTAs or if Albert Haynesworth is going to pass his fitness test today.

I used to listen to Mike and Mike in the Morning when I had a long morning drive and after awhile it just pissed me off when I realized that they basically know nothing about any sport except for football. Keep in mind this is supposed to be the top morning sports show in the country and they talk NFL about 75% of the time even during the summer.

SOB in CA said...

I noticed that Brent and Kirk were pimping (sorry for the Jungle Gloss) BSU to coaches and, I think, Harris Poll voters, using ESPN's pull to shape leanings and interests.
Will the announcers be doing this every week? Next week is PSU@ALA. Surely the winner of that contest should be put into the BCS Championship game.
But wait: BYU plays at FSU the following week!....

emil said...

i've been scouring the internet for years for a writer with the opinion you just presented. god bless you.
i miss the days when baseball ruled the earth, before the espn decided football was america's game.

rich said...

Adam,

I'm surprised they did anything besides say "Mike and Mike in the morning" and then throw it to commercial break.

The sad thing is ESPN has the highest subscription cost. Not just out of sports channels, of any cable channel. So not only does ESPN suck at the whole "sports" part of their name, but they're also the reason your cable bill is as high as it is.

For 69 a month I get ESPN2 and ESPNews. To get ESPN, I'd have to pay 95. Fuck you ESPN.

Jack M said...

Either DVR Sportscenter and skip the 65% of it that's boring and shitty, or go to the MLB/NFL/NHL/NBA network for your sport of choice's highlights.

Also, am I the only one that finds it amusing that ESPN has a show called "Highlight Express" when that was exactly what Sportscenter was 15 years ago?

Elliot said...

I'd like to hear Larry B talk a little more about how he hopes the NFL misses 2011.

pnoles said...

ESPN First Take just spent a grand total of 4 minutes interviewing the owner of the Broke Spoke bar in Brett Favre's hometown in Mississippi. Apparently, not everyone in the bar is sure whether to cheer for the Vikings or the Saints when the teams meet!

Usefulness!