Thursday, February 18, 2010

Skip Bayless Needs a Nice Tall Glass of Shut the Fuck Up

The gentlemen over at First and Ten on the WWL recently debated the question of whether Jimmy Clausen will make a good professional quarterback. This is a good debate, since there's enough munition on either side to mount an explosive attack. But Skip Bayless says some stupid ass shit in it, which I will now expose:

I watched all or parts of every Notre Dame game.

Me too. But saying this will make Skip's later comments inexcusable.

I don't like the intangibles, the late-game body language, the leadership, the charisma...

ND-Michigan State. Clausen throws the winning TD pass with 5:18 left.
ND-Purdue. Clausen, with an injured foot, throws the winning TD pass with :24 left.
ND-Washington. Clausen throws a go-ahead TD pass with 1:20 left
ND-USC. Clausen comes within five yards of engineering a 3-touchdown 4th quarter comeback when his receiver slips.
ND-BC. Clausen throws the winning TD pass with 8:12 left.
ND-Navy. Clausen throws a TD pass with :24 left to bring ND within two.

Now, there were some missed chances (Pittsburgh comes to mind), but it's pretty stupid to say you don't like a guy's fourth quarter charisma when he plays his nuts off and the other half of his team collectively sucks bigger than Uranus, which weighs more than fourteen Earths.

I thought Clausen's inabilities were the biggest reason Notre Dame underacheived at 6-6 this year.


I thought Clausen's inabilities were the biggest reason Notre Dame underacheived at 6-6 this year.


I thought Clausen's inabilities were the biggest reason Notre Dame underacheived at 6-6 this year.


If you actually watch the video, you'll realize that Skip didn't actually say that line three times. But I have reprinted it here three times to emphasize the stupid, which is of monumental proportion.

Jimmy Clausen threw for 3722 yards, tossed 28 touchdowns to 4 interceptions, and had the second-highest passer rating in the entire country (!).

Notre Dame's defense gave up 26ppg and almost 400ypg. This unit's pathetic performance was responsible for most of Notre Dame's underacheiving.

His mobility's pretty good, I'll give you that.

He did run for a net yardage of -95 this year... with a long rush of... 11 yards.

There's a bunch of other reasonable commentary about Charlie Weis's offense and adapting to the NFL and arm strength and all that. But I thought I would record the stupid. Because it's fucking stupid.


Biggus Rickus said...

I don't want to say anything nice about Clausen, because he seems like kind of a douchebag. However, if Notre Dame had had, say, Joe Cox under center in his place they'd have won about two games.

Completely changing the subject, how did Weis not have at least a decent defense after three straight top 10 recruiting classes? Did they just not sign very many highly rated defenders or was the coaching that shitty?

Chris W said...

A lot of column a.), a little bit of column b.)

Mantei Te'o was really the only highly rated defensive player Weis signed. That's not to say they never had any talent on defense. Clearly they did. But most of those top 20 or top 10 recruiting classes they signed were built on the strength of their offensive players (Tate, Floyd, Clausen, Crist, Rudolph, etc)

Tonus said...

I think Skip was referring to Clausen's lack of an ability to will his team to victory by emanating positive mind waves. Through his eyeballs. That's how Joe Montana and David Eckstein won all of those super bowls.

Dylan Murphy said...

We have to appreciate the ingeniousness of ESPN hiring Skip Bayless. Obviously he's the worst sports analyst out there. But he grabs ratings. Who doesn't like watching him, then realizing how much smarter you are than him?

Larry said...

It's idiots like this that influence idiots that I always end up arguing about sports with. They will parrot some b.s. that they heard on ESPN and when I challenge it they will find people like Skip Bayless and Joe Morgan on the Internet to counter my arguments. Of course they work for ESPN so they MUST know more then anyone else. UGH.