Sunday, February 21, 2010

I'm Not a Hockey Expert

Nor have I ever watched a hockey match, because hockey is the lamest sport this side of soccer, amirite?

/guy at a party who thinks he's clever and funny because he makes fun of sports that aren't football

But seriously now. I know that the U.S.'s win over Canada tonight was an upset. But anyone who wants to compare it to the 1980 Miracle on Ice is probably stretching things, don't you think? Ignoring the Cold War backdrop, you're still trying to compare a bunch of college players beating a team of full time professionals who hadn't lost in forever to a team of NHL players beating a team of better NHL players who didn't even medal at the last Olympics. I mean, hey- I love that highlight. Good for Al Michaels and all that. I welcome any excuse to break it out. I just really think it's silly to compare these two wins. They have a team of superstars... we have a team with some superstars and some regular stars. Let's try not to suck our own dicks too hard on this one. But I'm sure every sports media outlet will be doing just that for the next few days. Awesome.

Sportscenter got an early start on that by leading tonight's show with the 1980 highlight. Hilariously, because they refuse to pay whatever exorbitant price NBC has put on video licensing, they led the show with "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES... YEEESSSS" and then just showed stillframe photos from tonight's game. You could really feel the energy and excitement though! And then they showed the box score. I don't know who to hate more- Dick Ebersol and his team of selfish fucktards at NBC, or the ABC/ESPN axis of morons who are responsible for "Who's Now?" and the idea that it's OK to lead your highlight program with a series of still photographs. I'll just go with both.


Dylan Murphy said...

Almost as frustrating as going onto and not being able to watch the highlights, but 4 terrible minutes of Barry Melrose analyzing (they won because they had better goaltending). Thanks Barry. It's not as if they don't have the best goalie in the NHL.

Jack M said...

What's great is when they were doing the retarded "Greatest Highlight" tournmanet, they showed the miracle on ice clip with Chris Berman doing commentary on it live, just as they did for every clip. That whole thing was stupid as shit.

Adam said...

You are 1000% correct. I also blame ESPN for the trend that every upset or good game that happened 5 seconds ago is THE BEST GAME I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Elliot said...

It's not the Miracle. It's not even that comparable except that they were both hockey games that took place in the Olympics. The only reason they're even connecting the two (I mean, it's not even the same two countries competing*) is because it's the 30th anniversary of the 1980 games. ESPN and NBC's producers are so dumb, they don't even see the differences.

What's really sad is that all of the comparisons are taking away from what was a great hockey game, and a big accomplishment for Team USA, who hadn't beaten Canada in men's hockey at the Olympics since 1960.

*If the gold medal game ends up being USA Vs. Russia, get ready for this to be amplified by a factor of 100. Even then, it's not really comparable because the USSR is now Russia, and our two countries aren't engaged in a massive nuclear arms race. But things not being real haven't stopped these people from saying otherwise before.

Jarrett said...

Every single time there's Olympic hockey on, it comes up.


Did you know that there's no All-Star game this year because the best hockey players on earth are playing great games that are being shown in HD? Well, you wouldn't, because NBC would love to remind everybody about 1980 and have msnbc carry games. Suck shit through a straw, NBC.

What a load of fucking horseshit.

Biggus Rickus said...

In fairness to NBC and everyone else, the "Miracle on Ice" is about the only hockey game most Americans have ever cared about.

Biggus Rickus said...

So, this is completely unrelated to this post, but dumb. I was watching Michigan play Illinois in the basketballs. It's early second half with Illinois leading 26-20. An Illinois guard rims out a three, Michigan rebounds and pushes it up the floor. Stu Douglass penetrates and kicks it out to Zack Novack, who knocks down a three. The commentary goes like this:

Guy doing color with Musberger: I believe that's his first three-ball of the night.

Musberger: ...No that's his fourth. He's 4-6 on the night.

Musberger then proceeded to suck the dick of whomever was hot.*

*Might be speculation.

Alex said...

You think Melrose is lame? Try Pierre McGuire. Everyone up here thinks he's some sort of fucking genius for using descriptive words to mask his unmatched ability for stating the obvious to us laymen.

He gives the illusion hockey is more complicated than it really is.

It's not close. Pros don't even belong in the 'Pics.

The Miracle on Ice was something waayyyy beyond. I'm Canadian and get goose bumps watching it. I even visited the rink where they won in Lake Placid. Great hockey moment.