NHL Marketing Has Other Things to Worry About

I have SportsCenter on right now and with 2 leagues in the playoffs and baseball playing actual games that have meanings in the standings, Brett Favre has 3 slots in the "SC Rundown," MLB has 3, and the NHL has 1. What a joke. Looks like I'll have to watch Parental Control on MTV. If only my chronic unemployment would strike at The Hockey News' Ryan Kennedy. He thinks that this year's playoffs will be great for the NHL Marketing department. He is an idiot. You may now skip to the comments.

Not that the NHL would ever admit it cheers for certain teams, but the league must be beaming at the results of the playoffs so far. Because in terms of marketing the sport to casual fans, Gary Bettman and his buddies are looking at a huge summer.

Casual fans and NHL summer marketing... bikini-clad porn stars playing on ice? Casual fans rejoice! Nipples will be seen!

The only Stanley Cup final permutation right now that doesn't result in huge media coverage — let's call it the "nightmare scenario" — would be if Anaheim met Carolina. This is not meant to besmirch these two great teams; they simply don't have the name recognition that draws in the TV crowd.

Except that one of these two teams was named after a movie trilogy. Even non-hockey fans know the trials and tribulations of Gordon Bombay. And every other team left in the playoffs results in huge media coverage. The end. Evidence of this isn't needed. It's given to you as a fact, so accept it. Remember how I told you the NHL was on SportsCenter? We're 40 minutes in. Casual fans will not care about the Stanley Cup Playoffs, so let's hope it's an entertaining match up and not worry about TV ratings, okaythanks.

Even by the most liberal calculations, however — that is to say, not handicapping two low seeds against teams that "should" beat them in the next two rounds — there is only a one-in-16 chance the Ducks and 'Canes meet in the final. Otherwise, a huge pool of viewers is available in nearly every other scenario.

And every week, millions of people watch American Idol and Dancing With the Stars. It doesn't mean that all of the sudden karaoke and ballroom dancing are billion dollar industries. Just because people watch the games on TV doesn't mean that they'll go out and buy season tickets. It doesn't mean a large influx of new fans. It just means the games are less boring to people than repeats of Match Game PM. A huge pool of viewers will be available anyways because people aren't going out as much. The best case scenario would be if Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin could play against each other in some sort of playoff scenario. Even then, it will be forgotten quickly unless there are amazing individual plays or explosions.

In the Western Conference, you have two Original Six teams from big sports markets: Detroit and Chicago. As an added bonus, both teams come pre-packaged with feel-good stories: The Wings are the defending champions and the NHL's marquee franchise right now, while the Blackhawks are riding a crest of local goodwill as fans return to rock the home arena after decades of neglect. With both teams facing off in this season's Wrigley Field Winter Classic, casual fans already have a base of familiarity to work from, too.

Casual fans, of course, would know what "Original Six" means and why they would care. Hell, I love hockey and couldn't give two shits about the Original Six. Put that into NBC commercials for the playoffs. This team has been around forever and you should watch for that reason! The team has stayed economically stable for many years, thus the talent must be outstanding for this season! Does this guy know what marketing is? I ask because none of this seems to make the NHL more desirable to somebody who isn't a fan.

And if not the Original Sixers, how about Vancouver? The Canucks are now Canada's last hope at ending a national losing streak of 15 seasons and Canadians tend to pull for whichever team north of the 49th parallel remains, so northern ratings would be huge. Coupled with the fact Vancouver is one of the nation's biggest cities and has a fan base growing even more rabid as success on the ice echoes 1994 and you've got a good situation.

Yes, sell the Stanley Cup Finals to Canada. They won't know that it's going on, and they contribute so fucking much to American television ratings. Northern ratings would be huge regardless of who is playing. But you know where the NHL doesn't need to market to new fans? Canada. They watch, they buy jerseys, they play, they consume everything the NHL can give to them. In case you're curious - and you aren't - here's the ratings of the opening night of the playoffs in Canada this season. Canada averaged 1,732,000 viewers across 3 networks of playoff hockey. That's out of an estimated 33 million people living in that country. Here's what TV by the numbers had to say about US ratings.

In total, VERSUS averaged a 0.38 household cable rating, 286,290 households and 392,384 viewers. Those figures are up 6%, 10% and 25% from last year’s opening night average of 0.36, 261,308 households and 314,368 viewers. The 314,368 viewer average for the night makes it VERSUS most watched opening night of the NHL playoffs since they started carrying NHL games in the 2005-06 season.

Impressive.

The embarrassment of riches in the East is just as palpable. The Washington-Pittsburgh series guarantees either Alex Ovechkin or Sidney Crosby in the conference final and their second-round death match alone will bring in big headlines across the continent.

Remember what I said about SportsCenter? They both had hat tricks in the same game. And still, Brett Favre is the one making the headlines.

Having Ovechkin in the final would be tremendous for NHL marketers, especially since his personality and on-ice skills are so translatable to viral forms such as YouTube. If Crosby can bring his squad back to the final for another go, it would be just as satisfying.

They already have a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff meeting and they aren't marketing that. So how exactly would an NHL marketer magically make just one player in the Stanley Cup Finals sound so much better to the average American?

Boston, much like Chicago, is an Original Six team in a big American market that is experiencing a dramatic resurgence. The Bruins are skilled, tough and filled with great stories and personalities such as Tim Thomas, Milan Lucic and Phil Kessel. They're also a powerhouse No. 1 seed and the Stanley Cup possibilities involving the Bruins are pretty sexy — can you imagine Boston-Detroit or Boston-Chicago? Even the time zones work out for maximum exposure.

Amazingly, the strongest story going for the Bruins right now are the YouTube copies of their "Bruins Hockey Rules" ad campaign. Which is fantastic. Viral ads are what marketing is all about. Not Original Six teams.

While I'm here, though, something else in this paragraph set me off. Sports writers using the term "sexy." This isn't Seinfeld. Combining sex with excitement doesn't work. Sexy shouldn't stand in for underdog. Sexy shouldn't stand in for surprising. Sexy shouldn't stand in for thrilling. Stop fucking using it. It's not edgy or hilarious to say sexy. It's stupid and uninspired. "Sexy" is exactly the sort of drivel you'd expect to hear out of a TV tuned to ESPN.

Hockey is on a pretty serious roll right now. While baseball is dealing with an aura of being out of touch (i.e. the new Yankee Stadium ticket prices) and basketball no longer the dominant winter-spring sport, the coolest game on ice is starting to come out from under the radar. Big names in the final would boost the sport's profile even more.

Hockey is on a good roll for now, with arena attendance up. Baseball in New York City is out of touch - attendance should be down everywhere. It's just magnified because it's New York City and it's so expensive. Basketball what? I guess I missed that press conference where the NBA relinquished it's TV deal with ESPN and gave hockey the crown of "dominant winter-spring" sport. Big names only help those who have the means to help themselves. You don't have that when Versus is your TV rights holder.