Thursday, June 20, 2013

Now that the Heat are champs, let us review the dumbest "fan opinion" article ever written

Deadspin is generally fucking worthless, but it does a good job of dumping on the silliness that is ESPN First Take.  Not that First Take is hard to dump on (although let us never forget that Skip rules all shit), but I appreciate the way Deadspin covers it. For example, on Tuesday, they posted this.  It's a great demonstration of the absurd contrarianism First Take tries to cultivate, while looking incredibly silly in the process.  So you think that with as good as they are at pointing out that First Take is idiotic, they would never publish something like what you're about to read.  But you'd be wrong.  It is the most embarrassingly bad "Hey I'm just a fan and this my opinion on what it means to be a fan" piece I have ever read.  I'm sure you could pick up the topic from the title or first couple of sentences, but I'll just let you know that it was posted Wednesday morning in response to the (rightful) laugh America had at the expense of "fans" of the Heat who headed for the exits when Game 6 was still well in question.

In Defense of Leaving Early

by Bobby Big Wheel

I do not want to put on my Bill Simmons hat (fortunately I don't even have one) and try to write my own little manifesto about when it's OK to leave a game early and when it is not.  Instead, before we get into the substance of the article, let me just address Tuesday night's situation with as much tact and sophistication as I can muster: If you are a Heat fan (as opposed to some lucky piece of shit who doesn't care about the Heat or Spurs and just stumbled into Finals tickets and decided to go on a whim--this is not addressed to you) who was not having a medical emergency and you left that game early, you're a fucking idiot.  A fucking.  Idiot.  Period.  You deserve to be laughed at forever.  Now, let's give Bobby the floor, to explain why what I just said is wrong, because something Hartford Whalers something traffic.

I always hated leaving Whalers games early. 

Someone has their communications degree, or at least a minor.  "Establish credibility with the audience by acknowledging the validity of the opposite viewpoint of the one you're about to take.  If possible, connect with that opposite viewpoint via a personal anecdote or story so as to make your acknowledgement more authentic."  You're welcome, I just saved you $500 in online lectures.  

Maybe if they were down three goals I could be coaxed out of my seat when the PA announcer said, "Oooooooone minute left in the period." But it would take all of my father's cajoling to get me to leave the Hartford Civic Center before the crush of 10,000 people parked in the same three garages made his trek home a nightmare. He didn't spend five minutes backing a Mercury Grand Marquis into a too-small parking spot just to get stuck afterward in a 15-minute line of cars crawling toward a cash-only booth.

Surely that anecdote is very relevant to the way parking is handled at American Airlines Arena in Miami in the year 2013.

I won't pretend he had to clock in at the steel mill the next morning. He had a white-collar job at an insurance company, one that paid well enough for him to afford Whalers season tickets. 

Simmons, if given the chance to write about that same situation: "My dad was barely making ends meet!  He thought about selling our playoff tickets to put bread on the table for another week, but he just couldn't do it. Those moments are too special.  Later, he was fired from the steel mill for consistent absenteeism.  Fortunately he also had a job as an investment banker, so we ended up doing fine."

But he faced the same problems the rest of the 99 percent faces. Nobody has a pension; 

What?  Please get back on topic.

nobody has a guarantee; and raising three kids takes a big bite out of your nest egg. He had to be in the office the next morning around the same time that I had to be at the bus stop, and getting home at 11 p.m. would've just made everything even more of a hassle. So fuck it, we were going home, even though we were down only 3-1 to the Penguins.

That's fine.  It's worth pointing out that the difference between getting home at 10:45 and getting home at 11:00 is really pretty tiny, but I will honor his point and acknowledge that his dad did save some time in this madeup story.  On the other hand, here's something pretty fucking important to consider: the Whalers never met the Penguins in the playoffs, nor did they ever play any NHL team (other than the Canadiens, in 1986) in any round of the playoffs other than the first round, so the above anecdote about leaving during the 3rd period of a 3-1 game most definitely did not happen during the Stanley Cup finals.  Say, in game 6.  Say, with the Whalers down three games to two in the series and down by a single goal in the game.  So really, Bobby Big Wheel's attempt to establish credibility regarding the Heat's game six early exiters has failed miserably, because: it's not even close to the same fucking thing.

It's easy to make fun of Heat fans for leaving Game 6 

Oh yes, it's very easy!  I'll even link to Deadspin without making fun of them again, to prove my point: look at these people!  They look (and sound) like fucking assholes!  It's hilarious!

when it'd looked like all was lost. 

Oh, but here's the thing.  To a fan with any knowledge of the game, as well as the knowledge that this is a "win or season over" game, all was never lost.  They were down five with 0:28 to go, but had the ball.  Then they were down three with 0:19 to go, but again had the ball.  Neither of those are "whelp pack it in, it's over" moments.  Maybe down seven with 0:19 and without the ball, having just fouled.  At that point I'd say all is almost lost.  Other team makes the free throws, pushes it to nine, all is lost.  You are free to go.  But where the Heat were on Tuesday night before Ray Allen's big game tying three?  Nope.  

Even local TV reporters, a class of professionally unembarrassed people, said they were embarrassed, that the stereotypes about Heat fans were true, that Miami was a Bad Sports Town. 

All of these things are true.  Doesn't make Miami a bad city, but they are definitely true.

But fandom isn't the same thing as slavish devotion. 

/watches Bobby Big Wheel climb onto rickety soap box

Your favorite team doesn't pay you, and it doesn't owe you anything. 

And how do you know this?  Please stay on topic.

I learned that lesson when the Whalers left for North Carolina. 

/rickety soap box collapses, leaving Bobby Big Wheel bleeding on the ground

Let's be very, very clear about this: realizing that pro sports owners are assholes who will sell out fans to make a buck has goddamn nothing to do with whether or not you, if you are a real fan of a team, should leave a playoff elimination game while the outcome is still in question.  Fuck you.

Sportswriters easily forget that for most people attending a game is a hobby, a fun diversion, not a job.

That's fine, I agree that you don't have to be a diehard to attend a game, but to get tickets to a possible championship deciding game, you're either a rich prick or a very devoted fan.  I didn't look at the prices on StubHub on Tuesday night but I'm sure the cheapest nosebleed seats were hundreds of dollars.  There were no groups of friends there who said on a whim "Hey I know none of us care about the Heat, but let's go to the game anyways, could be a fun evening!"  Everyone who was there was, again, either a rich prick who can handle being mocked, or someone who had one of the most telltale signs of ostensibly serious fandom: spending gobs of money to see the team play.  Spare me your pathetic sermon about how IT'S JUST A GAME PEOPLE SHEESH LIGHTEN UP.  Yes, it is just a game.  Doesn't change the fact that the people who left early are bad fans and complete tards.

Expecting fans to stay until the end of a game reeks of the same fogeyism that bemoans kids checking their phones all the time. 

In fact, I AM a kid who checks his phone all the time.  The people that left are still fucking assholes who deserve to be mocked.  I am repeating myself, but one more time, just to be clear: game 6 of the NBA Finals with the Heat down three games to two and down five points with 0:28 left is not on the same fucking planet as the Whalers trailing the Penguins 3-1 with four minutes left during regular season game #19 in December 1991.  

Maybe in the '50s—when we all had pensions 

Why again with the pensions?  Stop it with the pensions.

and a union, and the day could more easily be carved up into eight-hour blocks of sleep, work, and leisure—maybe then sports fans could be expected to devote four hours to watching a game in-person. 

It would be much easier to do it then, I agree.  It's still very possible to do it now, ESPECIALLY FOR GAMES LIKE THE ONE IN QUESTION.

But this is 2013—the friction of everyday life is far too great to expect total devotion from all but the obscenely wealthy or the totally unemployable. 

Here's the coup de grace, folks.  While I earlier noted (correctly, I would think) that everyone who could afford tickets to Tuesday's game was probably rich or a serious fan, here is Bobby's knockout punch: in fact, the only people who should bother with staying until the end and dealing with traffic are those same richie riches and people who are really dumb.  

Fans already endure the indignities of wretched traffic, overpriced concessions, and the potential for heartbreak when they attend a game in person. 

You know why they do it, or at least why I do it?  Because if the team wins, it's awesome!  And if they win a historically great game, like game 6, it's even more awesome.  And if you leave when they could still win because you feel like beating traffic, you deserve to be mocked.  Not too hard to figure out.

Don't they at least deserve the option to look away when things go sideways and maybe get a good night's sleep, too?

Down twenty with three minutes to go is sideways.  Down five with 0:28 to go is not.
At least some of the Heat fans who left the game early were doing the same back-of-the-envelope math that my father used to do. 

When he made you leave a meaningless regular season game early.

(Down 5 + 58 seconds left) x (10 minutes to the car + 30 minutes of traffic) / (Joey's math homework + an 8:30 conference call) = we're headed for the exits. Look again at the fans leaving early. 

Thanks, I will!  What a bunch of bozos!

You don't see a lot of the chinstrap beards and glass earrings we expect of our Heat stereotypes. I just see a bunch of weary-looking people who were at a basketball game less than nine hours before they had to leave for work the next morning. It's like they don't even listen to Pitbull.

The Pitbull line is actually pretty good.  Unfortunately the sentence before it is one of the most idiotic in this post.  Less than nine hours!  Why, some of them probably only got six hours of sleep!  What is this world we live in???????

As last night reminded us, sports are fun. At least, they're supposed to be. But you have to fit them into an already cluttered life, and sometimes the fit isn't perfect. The Heat fans who left the game early were playing the percentages. They surely regret their decision today, but it's not an indefensible one. 

Your attempt to defense it looks like the Hindenberg landing right now.

Sports intrude on everything now—on your workday, on your mood, on your taxes, on your cable bill.

Uh... if you let them, I guess?  A lot of people don't, but they're still going to get fired the fuck up if they pay big bucks to see their team in person in a championship round game.  And most people who do let sports intrude on everything are the kind of people who would kill to be at a game where their favorite team won the way the Heat won on Tuesday.

Nothing wrong with fans exercising their diminishing prerogative to check the fuck out. 

If you were in attendance on Tuesday night, and are a Heat fan, and said to yourself with 0:28 to play, "Eh, you know what, I've followed the Heat closely all these years, but I'm so tired of sports being such a big part of my life.  Now is the exact correct moment to fight against that trend.  I think I'll leave right now", then I hope you get mangled in a parasailing accident.  The end.


Anonymous said...

I think the whole outrage over some fans leaving early is a tempest in a teacup. The notion that fans can let their teams down by leaving early is ludicrous. The NBA is there to generate obscene wealth to owners, players, sponsors and media. Look at who attends the Superbowl and tell me it matters to the participants.
Bobby Big Wheel is a cool Twitter handle, I didn't know he actually had a job. Kudos as parasailing accident was chuckle worthy.

Larry B said...

Perhaps I could have been clearer about my emotions--I am not angry at the people who left early, I just think they should be mocked and laughed at. I am angry at Bobby Big Wheel for trying to tell me that's not reasonable. Also, I could have been clearer about this as well, but your Super Bowl point is well taken--my rant does not apply to anyone who left early but is not a Heat fan, i.e., they were only there because their company got them tickets. They are welcome to leave whenever. Given the throngs streaming for the exits in the videos on the Deadspin post, I have a hard time believing that everyone who left early falls into this category.

jacktotherack said...

The excuses Bobby comes up with are just awful. Pensions? People not getting enough sleep? The teams season was on the fucking line! Why shell out that much $$$ just to leave a 2 possession game with 28 seconds left? Like you said Larry, it;s not that I'm mad at these people, I just think they're fucking idiots.

Snarf said...

You're right 100% it's their prerogative to leave, but it's also mock-worthy. I think your distinction between fan and casual guy who's lucky enough to fall into finals game 7 tickets is a good one. The fans that left early deserve the exact same ridicule that someone who calls 'game over' while watching a game, only for the game to not be over at all and the 'loser' coming back to win deserves. Doesn't make them a bad person or unworthy of watching the games, they just deserve some ribbing/ridicule.

Anonymous said...

It was hilarious that those who left who couldn't get back in for the OT. It was inane for Bosh to scold those who left early and tell them to stay home for game 7 especially in light of Bosch's pointless Game 7 performance. I agree that Bobby BW's attempt at comparing a Whalers regular season game with Dad in the Rotten Apple to an NBA finals Game 6 in Miami is not Phi Beta Kappa analysis.

Why Proofread said...

That anonymous dork needs an editor.

Adam said...

My Bosch coffee maker did have a poor Game 7 performance.

Anonymous said...

Miami had a 1.5% chance of winning when Manu was at the line (per Kevin Pelton). I get that this wasn't a Whalers game, but yes, down 5 with 28 seconds to go is death (or "sideways," as BBW calls it). The "bad fans and complete tards" came to a pretty logical conclusion.

Larry B said...

Most recent Anon, you can't just look at the 1.5% number and make your decision based on that. The correct mental calculation is to decide which side of this equation is "greater" to you from a happiness perspective: [(98.5%)*(value to you of beating traffic) - (1.5%)*(regret of missing possible comeback)] = [(1.5%)*(value of seeing an amazing comeback) - (98.5%)*(cost to you of waiting in traffic after the game after a loss)]

If you think the left side of that equation is bigger, then either your regret at missing a comeback that will be talked about for years is very low, or the happiness you'll get from seeing it is very low. Either way, you're a shitty fan. Period.

Anonymous said...

"Either way, you're a shitty fan. Period."

Trumpeting the rules for "good fan" is the type of silliness you make fun of Bill Simmons for (and yes, it's often hilarious when you do it). There is no such thing as a hard and fast rule for "good fan" vs. "bad fan." Heat fans often show up late, but their attendance is great, and they even notched average attendance when the team was awful. Does that combo of "show up late, but always show up" make them "good" or "bad" fans? Some of these fans on Thursday wanted to avoid witnessing a title celebration on their home floor. Wanting to avoid that painful sight means...they don't care? I really don't get the point of all this coverage. If the Heat won without these fans, then why does the lack of fans matter? Just seems like an excuse to stereotype a group of people and tell yourself (the royal "yourself") that you're better than they are.

Larry B said...

My own words, from the beginning of the post:

I do not want to put on my Bill Simmons hat (fortunately I don't even have one) and try to write my own little manifesto about when it's OK to leave a game early and when it is not. Instead, before we get into the substance of the article, let me just address Tuesday night's situation with as much tact and sophistication as I can muster: If you are a Heat fan (as opposed to some lucky piece of shit who doesn't care about the Heat or Spurs and just stumbled into Finals tickets and decided to go on a whim--this is not addressed to you) who was not having a medical emergency and you left that game early, you're a fucking idiot.

I'm not going to come up with 100 little rules about what does and does not make someone a good fan. All I am espousing here, and I am very comfortable espousing it, is that the people that left early on Tuesday are shitty fans. Not wanting to witness the Spurs celebrate a title 1) is not an excuse to leave with 30 seconds remaining with your team down five 2) could be factored into my equation in the previous comment, and my conclusion would still stand, and 3) Jesus, like, just turn the other way and walk--everyone else will be doing the same thing. It's not like if they stayed until the final buzzer and the Spurs won, they'd be forced to sit there and stare at the celebration for 15 minutes, Clockwork Orange-style.

I do not know where I fall on the spectrum of "good fans" vs. "bad fans," nor am I comfortable making a strong declaration as to what makes one or the other (as I've already said). It's just that this situation is so far beyond the pale of obvious bad fan behavior that it's worth pointing out and laughing at. Apparently people like you and Bobby Big Wheel don't see it the way I do, and all I can say about that is I think you're hideously wrong. You're especially hideously wrong when we consider what is gained by leaving; "not having to see a celebration on our home floor," whatever, you can avoid that if you leave with 4 seconds left, and beyond that, saving like 20 minutes in traffic. Really? That's worth a 1.5% chance at seeing what happened on Tuesday night? Get the fuck out of here, you're being silly.

And if the Nuggets are ever in the same situation the Heat were in on Tuesday night, and if some how some way I'm in attendance at the game, and you see me walking towards the exit with 28 seconds left, you can kick me right in the balls.

Chris W said...

Good lord. Everyone in the world knows that the 1st rule of being a fan is you don't leave a game if there's a reasonable chance your team can still win it. 1.5% chance seems small but it's a substantial chance. It's probably the same percentage of a pitcher with a perfect game in the 7th having a perfect game when all's said and done. You wouldn't fucking leave that.

now, individually are there reasons why someone might leave a game like that? "I'll get fired if I don't get up in time and I just took out a second mortgage" etc? Of course. But en masse, it's a silly thing for Heat fans in general to do. It doesn't make them bad people, nor is being a "good fan" that important. But to pretend like it's sportingly justified to bail out on an elimination game with your team still alive because you aggressively and obnoxiously shout it the loudest? Get a fucking life.

Anonymous said...

The problem with the Simmons caveat is that you then go right ahead and act like a Simmons. Saying "I don't want to..." doesn't absolve doing that exact thing.

Speaking of the Nuggets, did you notice how the Pepsi Center cleared the fuck out early in the 4th quarter in Game 2 against the Warriors? Matt Moore of CBS mentioned it on his podcast. Had Denver come back, you wouldn't have quite the same narrative about "bad fans" because there isn't this popular resentment of a team that extends to its city. This bit of 'news' is less about rightfully mocking idiots and more about finding a safe way to negatively stereotype an area as empty headed or fake. At least BBW was trying to humanize while everyone else, including yourself, took the giddy stance of "Heat fanz suck!"

Larry B said...

Your reading comprehension skills are top notch. Try parsing my Simmons caveat again. To do what Simmons did/does is to make a comprehensive list of 100 times it's OK to leave early and 100 times it's not OK (along with 500 other rules about what makes for good/bad fans). To do what I did is to point out that, holy shit, in this particular instance, anecdotally, these people were being shitty fans. It's patently obvious that that's the case. Stop trying to convince anyone otherwise.

Also, Denver fans (at least Nuggets fans) are probably not great fans. I'm comfortable saying they're still better than Heat fans though. And are you trying to say that the stereotype of Miami as fake/superficial/etc. is unfair or inaccurate? Like Chris said, just because that's true doesn't make it a bad city or make its residents bad people. It just is what it is. Of the 15 people who have ever commented on this blog, you are by far the most useless. Please shut up and go away.

tony harding said...

Anonymous, what got me about the whole thing was that the people that left early tried to get back in after the Heat tied up the score. I mean, seriously? Watching a game go into overtime right outside the arena on your smart phone after you just left that arena because the "game was over" is the part I found fucking ridiculous. And they were angry about not being able to get back in! It's a real easy solution. Don't fucking leave the game when it's not over to "beat traffic"! Then you might be able to see OT.

That is the real reason everyone is making fun of them for being front-runners. What's even funnier to me, though, is that there are people willing to step up and defend them for leaving a game that was clearly not finished.

Anonymous said...

"And are you trying to say that the stereotype of Miami as fake/superficial/etc. is unfair or inaccurate?"

"Of the 15 people who have ever commented on this blog, you are by far the most useless. Please shut up and go away."

Well, which is it? Are you asking me a question or telling me to "shut up and go away." Setting aside the cliche about being able to dish it out but not being able to take it, no I don't believe stereotypes about warm weather cities. What tangibly makes Miami anymore "fake" than New York or Boston? Breast implants? Nightclubs?

Why do you believe that Nuggets fans are "better" than Heat fans? Is there a fact-based reason for this belief? Miami once claimed better than 99% attendance for a 15 win team. That next year, the eventual WCF Nuggets team claimed 89.9% attendance. The only difference in perception of those fanbases is that we don't care about hating the latter.

I like this blog, but I'm a bit mystified at your anger here. I just disagree with the anecdotal "Those fans suck" narrative. So what? Why get "shut up" mad over it?

Per Tony Harding's comment of "Anonymous, what got me about the whole thing was that the people that left early tried to get back in after the Heat tied up the score," my response would be, "Would it make them better fans to have never tried returning?" Logically, that would mean they cared less, right?

tony harding said...

You're absolutely right, it would mean that the fans who never tried returning cared less. But I think the overall argument here is that Miami is full of a bunch of front-running fans. The fact that this guy from Deadspin is arguing that there was a legitimate reason for fans to leave Game 6 due to "traffic" when the game was still in doubt is hilarious to me. Then these same fans try and get back in the game because it's tied shows that they only care about their team when they are winning is proof that there are a bunch of front-runners that cheer for Miami. You could make the same argument for multiple franchises in any sport, and it would be interesting to see what people in NY or Boston would do in the same situation. However, regardless of who it is, it's fucking hilarious that there were so many fans that did it for this game, and even more hilarious to me that anyone would try to defend it.

Also, I wouldn't use attendance quotes for a professional team in any argument you make for attendance. Those quotes are always highly inflated, and mostly based on ticket sales, not actual attendance.

Adam said...

So you're from Miami right?

How bout them Marlins and Panthers?

For most people, going to an NBA Finals game is a once in a lifetime experience. The fact that they seemed to be in a hurry to get out of there indicated those fans were taking that opportunity for granted.

Even worse was their entitlement that they should be allowed back inside.

Anonymous said...


Not sure what New York or Boston fans would do, but we know that these fanbases had less than half of Miami's per capital local ratings this season.

(I'm citing that, since attendance figures admittedly have their flaws)

Look, l wouldn't advocate leaving early in that scenario. My main point is that it's not indicative of something we only see in Miami--this is an every arena issue. The popularity of this news story is more indicative of very specific confirmation bias.

If current Heat TV ratings were bad, then that'd be taken evidence that Miami has no real fans. But the ratings are good, so it "means" that those fans are bandwagon frontrunners. Either way, the fanbase can't win, off the court at least. Nobody will ever say, "Boy those fans are really supportive," even if that's the case.

Anonymous said...

ugh, per capita.* Whatever. And no, I'm not from Miami. Just because the population ignores one sport doesn't mean they ignore every sport, either. Philadelphia rabidly supports the Eagles and Phillies, but ignores the Sixers, for instance.

Larry B said...

If I really could only dish it out and not take it, I would not allow anonymous commenting, and when someone like you showed up under a Google ID, I would block you from commenting. That's not the case. I don't have thin skin. I just don't suffer fools easily.

As has already been said, citing attendance figures doesn't get you very far. They're not worthless, they're just next to worthless. TV ratings are probably more useful, but as you yourself admit, in this case all they probably show is that Miami fans are frontrunners, unless the numbers from the early 2000s were also good, which I doubt would be the case (although I could be wrong). Better to be fairweather than not care about the team at all, and as Chris W and I have both already said, being bad fans doesn't make South Florida residents bad people.

The fact that you're sincerely trying to debate/discuss what makes Miami superficial, or whether it is superficial at all, boggles my mind.

But look, we're straying a long ways from the most important point: those throngs of people--throngs, I think, is the right word for them--headed for the exits in the video in the Deadspin post from when Ginobili is shooting the free throws, are 100% worthy of laughter and scorn, and no, no they are not doing the same thing you would see in any city. "This is an every arena issue." At that magnitude, no, no it is not. Not even close. You are welcome to believe it is, and there's nothing other than anecdotes that would prove you wrong or right, but I'm very comfortable with my position. Hell, I would love to put it to a poll. Maybe I'll do that next post.

Larry B said...

Well hey, would you look at that? In tonight's Blackhawks/Bruins game, the Blackhawks scored two goals in a 17 second span and took a 3-2 lead over the Bruins with about 55 seconds left. The Bruins were down 3-2 in the series. Their odds of winning the game at that point, down a goal with a minute left, were probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.5%. And yet... what was that I just saw? No throngs of Bruins fans headed for the exit after the second of those two sudden and backbreaking goals? A nearly full arena chanting "Let's go Bruins" after the final horn sounded and the Blackhawks clinched the Cup? Couldn't be! Those poor folks! Not only did they see another team clinch a championship on their home ice, now they're ALL STUCK IN TRAFFIC. What a bunch of fools. Should have left when they had the chance, like those non-frontrunners in Miami.

Anonymous said...


"Midway through the third period of Game 7 between the Boston Bruins and Toronto Maple Leafs, the Bruins were trailing 4-1 and there were many empty seats at TD Garden. "

That's a story about the Bruins' comeback against the Leafs in Game 7, back in May. This EXACT fanbase, your counter 'frontrunner' example, isn't immune to leaving early and missing out on history. Conveniently, the most recent evidence of this happened mere weeks ago. You'd probably make fun of another writer for stumbling into that one.

You really could have chosen a better example, but I suppose "I just don't suffer fools easily" explains the shoddy rebuttal of said fool.

I can't deny you your right to mock Heat fans who flee early. If that's your idea of fun, so be it.

I just don't believe what you believe about that particular fanbase, as a group. I prefer looking to the data, as opposed to derisively envisioning the Heat fanbase as something out of a Carl Hiaasen novel (fake/artificial/etc.). Perhaps your impromptu poll would disagree with data that reflects relatively solid Miami fan support, but that stab at the argumentum ad populum logical fallacy isn't germane to the facts. Miami's regular season TV ratings are great. Miami's regular season attendance is great. Not sure why you'd expect other NBA fanbases to stay put in that exact scenario. Sorry that I can't leap to that conclusion with ya.

Rob R said...

Okay, I think I have a gmail account, let's dedouche.

Adam said...

You are a very dense faux intellectual.

Chris W said...

In a 4-1 game, you fucking jackass. Are you this fucking dumb, or are you just trolling?

Chris W said...

Also, what the fucking fartknocking fuck are you trying to prove citing attendance stats of a returning champ in a season when they were expected to walk away with the championship as some proof of the quality of Miami fans. I mean, even ignoring the embarrassingly pathetic "per capita" you threw in there?

Let's go back to pre-Lebron attendance numbers. Care to cite those, doggina? God, what a fucking fruitcake you are.

Anonymous said...


"Let's go back to pre-Lebron attendance numbers. Care to cite those, doggina?"

First of all, the win probability between 'down 4-1' in Boston's situation and 'down 5' in Miami's situation is separated by a percentage point. Secondly, I did cite a pre-LeBron attendance figure earlier. If you want something more recent, in 2010, the Heat were 15th in total attendance, 16th in terms of %. It'd be a fair criticism to say that the team should have done better than average, if that's a criticism you want to make. The greater point I'm making is that there's little empirical evidence to show that this fanbase is special in terms of badness. What's special about this situation is the collective willingness (on Deadspin and in other outlets) to keep pointing out examples of how bad these fans are.

"Also, what the fucking fartknocking fuck are you trying to prove citing attendance stats of a returning champ in a season when they were expected to walk away with the championship as some proof of the quality of Miami fans."

Well, if the attendance and ratings were relatively weak in this improved 2013 situation, then people would probably cite that as bad fandom. That's generally how a negative confirmation bias works. Damning evidence is meaningful, positive evidence is dismissed.

"God, what a fucking fruitcake you are."

This seems like a reasonable topic to get really mad about, I guess.

Adam said...

I'm sure those fans were calculating win probability in their heads.

Anonymous said...


"I'm sure those fans were calculating win probability in their heads."

The point is that your team is roughly, equally screwed in both situations, and fans grasp when their team is screwed based on the basic math.

"You are a very dense faux intellectual."

How does one qualify for "faux intellectual"? Could using the word "faux" also qualify for this apparent offense of pretend smarts? It's almost like you lacked good counter arguments and chose "Your tryna seem smart!" as a substitute.

Chris W said...

"The win probability in a 3 score game where total scores for both teams number under 10 and a 2 score game where total scores for both teams number over 100 is within a percentage point"

Link please, senorita.

Chris W said...

BTW they're being really really generous by calling you a faux intellectual.

I think a more accurate term would be "authentic dumbass"

Adam said...

It's easy to notice when somebody is flexing their vocabulary to make themselves sound smarter. Incorrectly I might ad. Faux intellectual is a coloquial term so the fact that you're unfamiliar with it and focusing on "oooh he used a fancy word" helps prove my point.

As far as a counter argument, it's not worth my time to write a detailed response to an obvious troll.

Worst Jokes Williams said...

I like mock apple pie and I'm a sudo intellectual.

HR said...

Wow some thin skin here. This may be a ridiculous subject for so much debate but at least anonymous is posting in a calm and reasonable manner. The histrionic responses to him, however, make some of you guys appear ridiculous and petty.